Team Confirms UCLA Tabletop Fusion

An anonymous reader writes "A team of New York physicists has confirmed that a tabletop contraption made at UCLA does in fact generate nuclear fusion at room temperatures, using pairs of crystals and a small tank of deuterium. But unlike less reliable reports back in the 1980s, there's no talk this time of producing endless supplies of power. Rather, the technology could lead to ultra-portable x-ray machines and even a wearable device that could provide safe, continuous cancer treatment."

Tabletop fusion

[Bit_Squeezer]

Crystals and holy water?

I predict the #1 application for this technology

[Anonymous Coward]

...will be for mood rings that give you finger cancer.

Better than two

[DigitlDud]

"Our device uses two crystals instead of one, which doubles the acceleration potential," says Jeffrey Geuther

Yeah well, now I'm going to use three!

What?

[Odin_Tiger]

"application may come in the form of a battery-operated, portable neutron generator"

Wait, what? We finally got cold fusion, but 'batteries not included'?

Re:Better than two

[MacUNIX]

"Our device uses two crystals instead of one, which doubles the acceleration potential," says Jeffrey Geuther

Yeah well, now I'm going to use three!

Ahh...the old "razor company" method, eh?

Key chain application overlooked

[SEWilco]

Also overlooked is the forthcoming businesses selling crystal pendants and key chains which "fight" cancer and provide other beneficial effects.

Licensing...

[lukewarmfusion]

I will now take bids on licensing my screenname.

Re:Better than two

[that_xmas]

Hell, I'm jumping straight FIVE! That'll get you an even closer shave.

Darn

[Nom du Keyboard]

Darn, now I have to go sell my palladium stash that I have put away just in case someone actually made it work the old fashioned way.

Re:Better than two

[dr_dank]

According to the Spinal Tap Principle, it's only a matter of time before someone makes one that goes to 11.

200,000 Electron Volts

[sarlos]

But can it crank out 1.21 gigawatts?

Re:so is this

[JustNiz]

Now THAT would be a keychain toy worth buying.

Re:Well that settles it: Quod Erat Demonstrandum.

[maxwell demon]

I only believe it when Netcraft confirms it. :-)

Re:has anyone seen...

[Atlantic Wall]

mod parent down, the movie sucked

Re:Better than two

[Divide By Zero]

Funny you should mention a razor with five blades [gillettefusion.com] in a thread about Fusion.

question

[kevin.fowler]

What if the crystal cracked?

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0083791/ [imdb.com]

Re:Oh great...

[brouski]

I never let science get in the way of a snarky comment.

Tabletop Fusion

[jdumps]

Tabletop fusion is hard. You have to be rolling 20's to get it started.

Re:Key Application Overlooked

[onkelonkel]

I always thought the easiest way to smuggle in a nuke would be to bring it in through Miami hidden in a bale of cocaine.

Re:What?

[Anonymous Coward]

The exciting part is that this device uses electricity flowing through crystals to accelerate neutrons. Dr. Who [wikipedia.org] can now reverse the polarity of the neutron flow.

Re:Key Application Overlooked

[CmdrGravy]

I think the best method is in a warhead attached to an ICBM

Re:Key Application Overlooked

[multipartmixed]

You forgot 5 -- move really far away immediately after selling the gold, so that when your customers realize their gold has turned back into lead, they can't find and kill you.

Re: Use as weapons?

[Black Parrot]

> Are we talking x-ray laser sort of technology? Is 200,000 electron volts enough to do significant damage? Surface burns and radiation poisoning?

That's why we mount them on sharks' heads.

Re:tabletop fusion

[multipartmixed]

> This device looks like it's a little bit simpler than the Farnsworth fusor

And significantly more useful than the Smell-O-Scope!

They have...

[geekoid]

"Now if I could just find a way to bottle the power of human stupidity..."

it's called 'Beer'

Re:Key Application Overlooked

[DieByWire]

bring it in through Miami hidden in a bale of cocaine.

You misspelled 'bricks of marijuana.'

Ob. Ghostbusters Quote

[GJSchaller]

Dr Ray Stantz: You know, it just occurred to me that we really haven't had a successful test of this equipment.

Dr. Egon Spengler: I blame myself.

Dr. Peter Venkman: So do I.

Dr Ray Stantz: Well, no sense in worrying about it now.

Dr. Peter Venkman: Why worry? Each one of us is carrying an unlicensed nuclear accelerator on his back.

Only time before...

[WolfZombie]

CLICK HERE for a portable fusion device that can help you Add Inches!!!

sorry to tell you this....

[Anonymous Coward]

But you either:
a) Just got added to the NSA watch list
b) Got added to Usama's 'People I need to meet' list.