Bullying Affects Social Status? 392
An anonymous reader wrote to mention a ScienceDaily article about the social status effects of bullying on mice and men. From the article: "The results reveal neural mechanisms by which social learning is shaped by psychosocial experience and how antidepressants act in this particular brain circuit. They also suggest new strategies for treating mood disorders such as depression, social phobia and post-traumatic stress disorder, in which social withdrawal is a prominent symptom ... He and his colleagues also discovered that social defeat triggered an upheaval in gene expression in the target area of the circuit, the nucleus accumbens, located deep in the front part of the brain -- 309 genes increased in expression while 17 decreased."
False premise (Score:5, Interesting)
Cultural impacts of antidepressants (Score:5, Interesting)
Bullying affects Politics? (Score:5, Interesting)
I'm not saying Republicans are bullies and Democrats are victims or anything, but there sure seem to be a lot of people who just don't "get" the need for judicial oversight, fair representation in court or congress, support for the poor, or the concept of a truly open marketplace.
Re:Good way to get your ass kicked (Score:2, Interesting)
Re:False premise (Score:5, Interesting)
As the great philosopher Van Pelt said:
"I love mankind, it's people I can't stand."
The "dogs" among the apes will never understand the "cats," however, even though they rely on them to keep watch over the tribe through the night, lest they all get eaten by lions while they sleep.
And what the lions are doing eating in their sleep I'll never know.
KFG
Bloom's Lucifer Principle (Score:4, Interesting)
Re:False premise (Score:5, Interesting)
You tell it, brother!!
You don't have to be outgoing type-A to be mentally healthy... or even what society considers mentally healthy to do well in this world. I recently heard an NPR story about how they've started to screen high school students with a questionnaire so that they can medicate people before they go off and kill themselves... but when I heard the 'warning signs' that they were looking for, I realized that they would have flagged me when I was in high school, and they would have tried to persuade my parents to medicate me.
Now my kids are in pre-school, and the teachers are concerned because they don't socialize well and have poor coordination... yeah my four year old reads at a first grade level... but they just see that as a sign of parents pushing too hard (we don't push him at all by the way, he's just a very curious kid). They want us to stop teaching him reading and math and try to push him more into sports and socializing... But I say, so what if he wants to be nerdy.. let him be nerdy.
Bullying is effective - Basis for coping (Score:5, Interesting)
Effective down to the biological level.
If we can acknowledge that, perhaps we can stop some of the frustrating rhetoric about how the bully is "wrong" and should be "understood".
So, the bully has something tangible to gain from their behavior. (And I mean not just the immediate response but the long term social implications.) Does "correcting" that behavior address the sole root of the problem? Or do we also need to give those bullied effective tools for dealing with the bullying and for maintaining self esteem? Do we let them know just how important it is to maintain that self-esteem? (The article is saying that in failing to do so, they essentially become hard-wired for a different and seemingly less satisfying social role).
The bullying exists within a social context with constraining bounds. The parent of a bullied child can't go an beat the cr*p out of the bully -- not without going to jail. There are already limits that have been decided upon. So, we get to make choices. Can we then also choose and foster, at least to some extent, the types of personalities we wish to see succeed? The type of society we with to propagate?
For my part, if I ever have kids, they will have martial arts training. That part is a simple decision for me. It won't solve every problem, but it will increase the odds considerably that they won't find themselves forced to be pushed around, at least physically. And perhaps a good instructor can help with some of the mental aspects, as well -- I understand that is an essential component of good training.
Um... (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:Bullying made me a brutally effective adult (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:False premise (Score:4, Interesting)
WAIT A MINUTE! RTFA... (Score:1, Interesting)
This is no cure. Ignoring the problem doesn't make it go away. If there is something more pathetic than being picked on, it is KISSING UP and continuing to TREAT WITH RESPECT the very a-holes engaged in the bullying. What is this shit? Reverse engineer me the EXACT OPPOSITE.
Something to chew on (Score:3, Interesting)
There are loads of people in this discussion who seem to think this treatment is bad because punishing the bully should come first. The issues you describe are more of a rational "take a step back" view on things, while reacting with anger, wanting to punish the bad guy, seems to be an emotional reaction, something the victim would see as the problem before he's had a chance to calm down.
Consider this; a bully pushes you in the schoolyard, you fall, scrape your knee and start crying. A teacher saw the whole thing and walks up. What would you want to happen? Revenge!
Now, you're the teacher and the same thing happens. A little kid pushes another. The other scrapes his knee, starts crying. He's now on the ground, bleeding and crying. Which kid do you handle first?
To bring it back to he left/right thing; "That bully nees a good ass-whupping" would be a right-wing view, imo.
I was bullied. And it had rotten effects. (Score:3, Interesting)
I went to a private school in New Jersey, where the bullying wasn't physical, it was mental. I was one of the only poor kids there, and the rich kids would make fun of my clothes, my mannerisms, my lack of money, the fact that I wasn't invited to their parties, etc. I turned inwards, focusing on science and math and became one of the best students in the school; I drew comfort from the fact that I was one of the three smartest kids in the whole place. We geeks hung out together, and for the first time, I actually had some friends. This was very instructive.
When I went to college, I was again picked on off and on, but it was much more subdued. I knew some karate by that point but it wasn't enough. I was getting really tired of being so weak that other people could actually CHOOSE to pick on me and finally, I did something about it. I figured, if I can make myself so tough that the bullies THEMSELVES were afraid of me, maybe everyone would leave me in peace. So I did.
I joined the Marine Corps as a grunt, and found myself in a raid unit. This was essentially an infrantry unit which was almost (but not quite) special forces, whose duty it was to attack and destroy enemy bases at night, taking no prisoners and leaving nothing functional. Blowing up SAM sites, fire bases, things like that. That's what we were taught, anyway. We weren't used in combat, which I was quite happy about. But I did learn how to fight (and kill) on a level much more aggressive than most civilians ever do.
Smack dab in the middle of my enlistment, my unit was on float when Gulf War I happened. Again, we weren't used, we ended up floating offshore for 110 days, in a ship's berthing which had no air conditioning. It was like, 120+ degrees during the day and 70 at night. We were miserable. The tougher marines (keeping in mind that at six feet tall and 220 pounds, I was only mid-size for my unit) started beating on me because I was a "goddamn college kid" and so on. The longer they went without drinking, the more pissed off they got. I won't tell you the rest of that particular story, but eventually when I returned to the civilian world, I was quite a bit meaner and tougher than when I'd left it.
Luckily, for some reason, at 6' and 250 (when I got back) with skull tattoos and all that, people just didn't seem to want to pick on me anymore. Over the course of several years, I gradually relaxed and became more peaceful. I went back to college and studied Mechanical Engineering, but that didn't work out for me (no career prospects) and I switched to something I found more fun, i.e. computer science. I got my degree, had my dot-com experiences, and ended up working for the government.
It took me TEN YEARS to heal over all the mental scars I picked up in the marines (and earlier, in school). It's only been in the past few years that I've really started to feel relaxed, without the sense that ANY MINUTE something terrible is going to happen to me. Only lately have I been comfortable trusting someone who wasn't a blood relative (and then, only if I can determine that our interests are aligned enough that the person won't be tempted to screw me).
To this day, I don't trust people in general. I see the human race as petty, selfish, nasty, and fickle, with a mean-streak a mile wide that only needs an opportunity to show itself. I do my best to avoid crowds, gatherings, any sort of grouping of people... I try to be invisible, someone you wouldn't even look twice at. And I avoid others as best I can.
Sometimes I think a great crime has
Re:Cultural impacts of antidepressants (Score:3, Interesting)
Re:I was bullied. And it had rotten effects. (Score:1, Interesting)
Yeah, it really, really sucked at the time. But now, it's years later, and things have turned out pretty well for me. I keep to myself, mostly, and I'm enjoying a nice, quiet life.
I feel pretty lucky because I'm working in an office where everybody's really nice -- I cherish that. I think that they find it kind of funny that I adore them so much, but if they knew the whole story, they'd totally get it.
It's weird; one side effect of having the childhood I had is that if someone's actually NICE to me, I totally adore them after that, and would walk through fire for 'em.
Re:At what point do you blame yourself? (Score:1, Interesting)
And the rest of the kids had actually never had a problem with me, I had just assumed they did. They actually like me more than they liked the bullies. Not that I ever gave them a chance to show it, just like the mice in the article.
Anyway, a lot of this stuff is due to, as well as causes, something known clinically as a "personality disorder". You are right about the commonality of the bullies also having problems but dealing in a different way - many of them if diagnosed would show up as having Sociopathic Personality Disorder, which is like the "lite" version of being a full-blown psychopath. The impact they have on US lies on a continum that ranges from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (Ahhh! the Helicopters!), to Complex PTSD (Nothing wrong with me! now where did I put my heroin again...), to Borderline Personality Disorder (Don't Ask).
Sounds like you lucked out and got off the lift at the first floor, not to belittle how much it hurts - just that you are still aware it hurts. It's taken me 3 years of meds and therapy to even *remember* that it hurt ~ but then again my bullys were my parents, and it started before I could speak
Oh, and as for blaming yourself, forget it. It's like blood in the water, they can spot us just as easily as we can spot them, and they know it's easier to pour salt in an existing wound than to create a new one (and yes, sociopaths actually *are* after the pain). They also look for people who are isolated - As a Marine you might have weighed 250lbs, but the "normal" guy with 10 friends to stand up for him effectively weighs a ton. No wonder the bullies prefer to go after the loners, the last thing they want is a fair fight.
Re:I don't know about you people... (Score:2, Interesting)