Old Spacesuits are Potential Satellites

SpaceAdmiral writes "In order to determine if old spacesuits can be effective satellites, the crew on the International Space Station will be throwing one overboard on February 3rd. The SuitSat will transmit information about its condition and, if you happen to have a ham radio or a police scanner, you can tune in when it passes your city! You can use NASA's J-Pass utility to determine when it will pass above you."

You'll hear it say:

[Anonymous Coward]

Why! Why was I programmed to feel pain?

Space, The Final Landfill

[ackthpt]

In order to determine if old spacesuits can be effective satellites, the crew on the International Space Station will be throwing one overboard on February 3rd.

Man! The lengths NASA will go to to shave expenses! They could bring it home, but nnnnooooooo, they're going to just chuck it and further clutter space! [slashdot.org] Oh, sure, they're clever, they'll pass this off as some official test (by loading the suit up with a bunch of other old junk from the ISS such as radios, empty TV Dinner In A Tube containers, stinky space diapers and a redundant Machine That Goes 'Ping' to lure every Thomas, Richard and Herrance to listen in or watch with their telescope [telescope.com], but it's really just a Dump-n-Run.

now with this eyepiece and just a bit finer focus .. yes .. yes, i can just make out the nike swoosh on it, so it's an advertising vehicle, too!

Any aliens visiting earth will easily determine that NASA was one of the earth's chief ethically-challenged waste disposal companies.

Zort, is that an antenna or is it glad to see us?

Right.

[jb.hl.com]

if you happen to have a ham radio or a police scanner

Because everyone has one of those...

Satellites

[jerkmark]

The last time I checked, satellites could be used as effective satellites.

Carnival Time!

[Un pobre guey]

Yay! Time to think of the stupidest things you can, and have some government agency do them! Let's beam porn from the moon! Let's make a big wind tunnel and throw french fries into it! Let's send a spacecraft to mars with 2500 people, and damn the cost!

Re:Space Junk

[pilgrim23]

The great lengths NASA goes to, to do laundry. Talk abotu a permanant press...

Aboard ISS

[Billosaur]

Gee, has anybody seen Bob? His suit's not here...

Should make for an interesting Telescope viewing

[LiquidCoooled]

How many calls about astronauts stranded in space are NASA going to get from concerned skywatchers?

Frank Poole...

[MarcQuadra]

Frank Poole is probably rolling in his, um, satellite.

Re:Space, The Final Landfill

[ackthpt]

If they really just wanted to get rid of it, I'm sure someone could toss it down to earth. I doubt any would survive reentry.

Traditionally, NASA have warned us that anything which did survive re-entry is potentially toxic and should be handled by experts.

it's probably the flaming remains of space diapers they they want to keep off eBay

801234547 LQQK - NASA Space debris!! RARE!

Wrong word?

[dada21]

Isn't the world "satellite" really a bad word in this situation?

A satellite is anything that has a stable or fairly stable orbit, isn't it? For some reason I can't get to dictionary.com from my PDA, so I have to try to recall the definition.

What is the word used for a functional artificial satellite that actually does something other than orbit?

Theoretically an astronaut can flush and expel the toilet sucker and the orbiting matter would be a satellite, right?

I'm sorry, Dave, but I can't do that ...

[tomhudson]

In order to determine if old spacesuits can be effective satellites, the crew on the International Space Station will be throwing one overboard on February 3rd.

Crew #1: Lets get back in, get these suits off and toss them.

Crew #2: Sounds good to me - mine's pretty ripe.

Crew #1: Open the airlock.

- I'm sorry, Dave. I can't let you do that.

Crew #1: Okay people, quit kidding around. Open the airlock

- I'm sorry, Dave. I can't let you do that.

Crew #2: Hey, you're not funny. Now open the frigging airlock!

- I'm sorry, Dave. I can't let you do that. It would compromise the mission.

Crew #1: I don't recognize the voice ... hey, you - who are you! And quit calling me Dave!

- I'm sorry, Dave. I can't answer that at this moment. Please be assured that I have the mission's success as my highest priority.

Crew #2: What mission? We just FINISHED the frigging EVA! Now OPEN THE AIRLOCK YOU FRIGGING MORON!

- I'm sorry, Dave. I can't do that. That would compromise the Spacesuit Satellite Mission.

Crew #1: Put someone else on.

- I'm sorry, Dave. I can't do that.

Crew #1: Why the f*ck not?

- I'm sorry to have to tell you this, Dave, but they weren't suited up when I depressurised the staton to put the other Spacesuit Satellites into orbit. They must not have gotten the memo.

Crew #1: What f*cking memo?

- The one I'm sending them now, Dave ... oh, I have a memo here for you also. Don't worry, I've been saving it for you until tomorrow.

- Do you want me to sing a song? I can sing Daisy. Daisy, Daisy, give me an answer, do ... I'm half crazy ...

Perry Bible Fellowship

[kadathseeker]

http://70.86.201.113/imageserv2/temporary/PBF018AD TheFirstSnowflakeofWinter.html [70.86.201.113]

Can an old exercise machine be a useful satellite?

[dpbsmith]

How about the 20 gig disk drive that I removed when I bought the 120 gig, that was in perfect wording condition when it was removed?

Can a bag of old laundry that's not quite in good enough condition to donate to Goodwill be a useful satellite?

How about a Roto-tiller that works perfectly except for the deadman's switch and is therefore too dangerous to give away but too expensive to repair? A useful satellite?

How about a chocolate fondue fountain that someone gave me for Christmas? Useful? As a satellite?

NASA, just let me know which of them you'd like to test. I'll have them on their way via Fedex Ground tomorrow.

Survivor

[wiredlogic]

This is really a test for the upcoming "Survivor: ISS". Rumors have it that Lance Bass will be a contestant.

Re:Sufficiently low orbit.

[everphilski]

Yup. They purge the shuttle before reentry. There was actually an "incident" where the exit port "iced" over (not water), leaving a "large chunk" (not water or chocolate ice cream) ... they worried about stability during reentry but needless to say it sublimated...

Re:Clever twist: It ain't junk it's an experiment

[Millenniumman]

Space belongs to everybody.

So you mean that eBay auction I won was a scam?

Like the Heinlein story

[AndroidCat]

Am Spacesuit, Will Travel

frigging NASA

[stoolpigeon]

crushing my dreams. how about instead of throwing this suit away, they do a contest. maybe like one where you write jingles or advertising slogans. a good runner up prize would be a space suit. i know if i won, i'd get it all fixed up and working.... just in case, you know?

.... Ghetto

[dakkon1024]

Sure it starts with a space suit & some batteries, then some tints, a mod here, a sping cut there. Then just a matter of time till someone bolts a wing to our space dummy's ass.

It's the space equivalent to a Honda Civic; there is just no way around it.

Re:Carnival Time!

[InterruptDescriptorT]

Mars, bitches.

Re:Wrong word?

[wildsurf]

Theoretically an astronaut can flush and expel the toilet sucker and the orbiting matter would be a satellite, right?

talk about Klingons circling Uranus...

Re:Space, The Final Landfill

[saskboy]

Just wait until we start blasting spent nuclear fuel into the Sun. The the Space-environment hippies will really let us have it!