Cardiac Patch for a Broken Heart

Roland Piquepaille writes "People who suffered from heart attacks or other heart failures often need transplants because their hearts are essentially non-functioning. But imagine what would happen if it was possible to engineer living heart tissues to fix these broken hearts? This is what bioengineers at Columbia University Medical Center in New York City are starting to make. According to HealthDay News, their patches for broken hearts are made of heart tissue grown in the lab. Right now, animal trials are just starting and it will take at least a decade before human trials begin. But when these living bandages are ready for cardiac care, they'll have the potential to save millions of lives in the world every year."

My patch

[Bob McCown]

I prefer my patch for a broken heart. Glen Morangie.

But will this work...

[ciroknight]

..for my broken heart caused by my mean ex-girlfriend leaving me for another man?

No? Then forget it. Back to alcohol and chocolate for me.

If it's anything like a MS Windows patch...

[Anonymous Coward]

the heart will work again for a little bit, but other major organs that iteract with the heart will cease to function correctly, and the new patch will somehow allow the heart to be more vulnerable to viruses.

Will they schedule them for tuesdays?

[Anonymous Coward]

Or move to some other day to minimize heart attacks caused by 'patch overloading'?

Unluckily

[DyslexicLegume]

...patches will only be available on the first Tuesday of every month. Any severe heart attacks occuring between these so called "patch days" will have to wait.

Dick Cheney

[Mike570]

FINALLY, there's hope for Dick Cheney! Now if only they knew how to grow a brain for Georie.

I could have sworn...

[Impeesa]

...you were supposed to patch before an attack happened. I guess I was wrong.

Re:My patch

[Anonymous Coward]

Pfft, I did a Google Image search for "Glen Morangie," hoping to score pictures of some hot chick...only to find alcohol. Pathetic!

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

You saw this coming Re:My patch

[CDMA_Demo]

Patching is for paranoids, I'd rather check out the bleeding edge release.

Re:Dick Cheney

[Anonymous Coward]

Why do liberals always seem to attack others' physical disabilities? Cheney has a weak heart, so what? he's a good man who works hard to protect us even with a defect which could kill him from the strain. Bush didn't get the best grades in college, so what? Neither did Einstein. Bush knows who the experts are and he surrounds himself with them in order to protect us from the animals who attacked us on 9/11. Would you forgo protection? Do you want to allow the animals to overrun this country and slit your throat? I didn't think so. I for one am grateful for their help and safety in this wicked world.

For female patients

[RandomGuySteve]

The patch will be made entirely of chocolate ice cream.
The male patch will consist of pornography and alcohol.

wow...

[andy55]

Wow, what a messed up /. story the day ater I found out that my gf has been cheating on me for months (no joke).

try..

[pkplex]

atp-get dist-upgrade. Upgrades all the other body parts too.

Re:Dick Cheney

[Anonymous Coward]

A/C you are a Great American to state the Truth. And I'll take a shot at you question. Why? Because they want us to THINK they care about those who are not perfect, when in fact they use those same shortcomings against those they are "protecting" and to advance themselves. It's all an ACT to get CONTROL over people. If you go way back you'll see that some very well known Liberals were against integration of blacks (G.Wallace was a Democrat), were racists (R.Byrd was a prominent KKK member), and even FOR Slavery back during the Civil War (Lincoln was a Republican). They have also instituted programs like the FDR "Great Society" Welfare that KEEP people down, and tell those folks if they vote for them the money continues, else who knows what may happen. They also lost the Vietnam War. Come on you 20 something panty waist liberals and the Euro-wackys who don't even live here let's see you respond with the typical FUD talking points from the Party and the liberal college professors. I can predict what you are going to say, and none of it holds up to scrutiny. Mod me to -100, I got Karma to burn.

Great news! Another double Quarter-Pounder, please

[koelpien]

Great news! Another double Quarter-Pounder, please. Extra cheese and bacon.

Re:wow...

[kadathseeker]

Pssh. Please. Was she cheating with a sharp object or something? Don't worry, a little duct tape is all you need to patch that "relationship" back together. Or did the cheating start after you joined /.?