Study: Waking Up Like Being Drunk

Ant writes "CNN reports that "sleep inertia" leaves some people so groggy, after they wake up, they might as well be drunk, researchers said on Tuesday. "For a short period, at least, the effects of sleep inertia may be as bad as or worse than being legally drunk," said researcher Kenneth Wright of the University of Colorado at Boulder."

Brilliant excuse

[yobjob]

I didn't get smashed last night, I just wake up drunk, honest!

Remember Folks...

[Burning1]

So remember folks: If you fall asleep while driving it's very important that you don't attempt to wake up.

Wha....?

[lheal]

Shorry, I dinnt unnerstan that. Where's my damn coffee?

I have this stupid little dog that keeps waking up at night and yipping with this ear-piercing yelp. Something about taking a piss. I hate that little dog. Damn activists would have me in jail if I shot her, though.

So where's that coffee? Oh, here it is. Ahh.

Wow, what a stupid post. Better not press Submi...

So if you drink a lot...

[Zakabog]

So if you drink a lot before you go to sleep, and you wake up drunk, the two effects cancel each other out. So drink heavily every night and you'll be fine!

Then in the US

[woodengod]

... waking up should be forbidden for persons younger than 21 years ;o)

Where's that Snooze button?

[datafr0g]

There is evidence that the cortical areas of the brain thought to be responsible for problem-solving, complex thought and emotions take longer to wake up than other parts of the brain, Wright wrote.

Problem Solving? COMPLEX THOUGHT?! EMOTIONS!?!?!?

Fuck that! I'm goin' back to bed!

Well, science says one thing...

[Zork the Almighty]

... but I have a shot or two in the morning, just to be shure.

This is news?

[Flendon]

Did it really take a team of scientists to figure this out?

Scientist: Hey Bob I have an idea for a research proposal, but I'm going to need a big grant.
Boss: What's your idea?
Scientist: Well I want to study the effects of waking up.
Boss: Is this just an excuse for why you are always sleeping at your desk?
Scientist: *Looks guilty* N..No! I want to compare the effects to um.. Drunk Driving! Yeah I want to compare the effects of waking up to Drunk Driving thats it!

Re:Legally drunk?

[Anonymous Coward]

I think "legally drunk" would refer to being under the blood alcohol limit for driving a car. I'd imagine that "drunk" would refer to any amount over that limit.

And "legally blind" means your vision is just barely good enough to drive a car?

I was sleeping deeply

[smittyoneeach]

...and dreamt of being at a Black Sabbath concert. They were grinding out "Iron Man", and I was in front, doing some mighty head-banging.
Things turned literal when my head met the window sill against which my bed lay.
I became semi-conscious, with blood streaming from my forhead, but couldn't move well because my right arm was still asleep.
Almost deathly so: my sleeping position had cut off circulation to the arm, apparently for a long time. The Sabbath dream had been my subconscious trying to 'rock' me into a different position. Later, when my arm functioned again and the bleeding stopped I thought, wow, that would have been pretty funny, if it hadn't happened to me...

Classic

[hairykrishna]

"University of Colorado: Quantifying the obvious since 1876"

Re:theolein reports on Common Sense

[datafr0g]

Yeah but do you have scientific evidence that common sense exists?

Anyone else here...

[aug24]

...ever woken up still drunk? I remember doing so after my mate Frank's stag do. Got downstairs, drank some water, out of the house to Fulham High Road to a coffeeshop, bought coffee and a Sunday paper, sat down and realised that (a) I couldn't read and (b) I forgot shoes.

Justin.

Scientists with lots of time on their hands

[oztiks]

For a short period, at least, the effects of sleep inertia may be as bad as or worse than being legally drunk," said researcher Kenneth Wright of the University of Colorado.

Is this one of these scientific tests that involve lots of alcohol and plenty of sleeping?

Re:It's unpleasantly like being drunk.

[Smidgin]

Was this experiment by any chance conducted by The Maximegallon Institute of Slowly and Painfully Working Out the Surprisingly Obvious? (Mostly Harmless, Chapter 6)

Not like being drunk at all

[Admiral Burrito]

I must disagree with the article.

I hate waking up.

I see you're problem

[lheal]

When I shower in the morning it takes me like 20 minutes to do the exact same procedure I can complete in 10 minutes if take a shower in the middle of the day.

Perhaps you should find some other place to conduct that procedure. Most slashdotters do it in front of their PC at night, I think.

you're - "your"

[lheal]

Sorry. I just woke up.

Re:Just one of the reasons...

[trandism]

You mean you shower? :o :o Every morning? :o ooops this place has changed radically lately :|

Re:theolein reports on Common Sense

[kfg]

Next up, a study that shows that if you put your head between your legs for a few minutes and then sit up really, really fast you get light headed.

Will the miracle discoveries of science never cease?

KFG

Re:Attestation

[Fred_A]

Well, I moved my alarm clock to my neigbour's house and it worked great for me.
I haven't been to work since.

Re:Brilliant excuse

[thermopile]

No way. I don't buy it, not one iota.

When I'm drunk, I have this irrational and very strong urge to hook up with whatever woman looks strikingly attractive in the room. Raging ball of hormones.

When I'm waking up? are you kidding? I'm usually annoyed that the ugly troll of a thing sleeping next to me (who was strikingly attractive last night) has the nerve to have her arm draped over me.

Way, way different.

Re:Remember Folks...

[Anonymous Coward]

My grandfather died peacefully in his sleep. Unlike the four other people in the car he was driving.

Re:Brilliant excuse

[pHatidic]

Sorry, officer, I wasn't drinking. I was just taking a nap behind the wheel.

Re:It's unpleasantly like being drunk.

[MrP-(at work)]

Yeah actually the feeling i feel when i wake up is more like being drunk (as in glass of water) than being drunk (as in beer)

p.s. i hate you for posting that DA reference first

Re:My afternoon nap

[poeidon1]

I always thought that I am more productive after a few hours of nap in the afternoon. This study is going to spoil my productivity.

Re:I was sleeping deeply

[Bob Cat - NYMPHS]

I think it's funny, even though it happened to you.

Re:Brilliant excuse

[myth24601]

How did that song go?

"She's looking good after NINE Coronas!"

Oblig. Futurama

[Dachannien]

Leela: Look at that 5 o'clock rust. Bender, you've been up all night not drinking, haven't you?!
Bender: Hey, what I don't do is none of your business!
Leela: Please, Bender, have some malt liquor. If not for yourself, then for the people who love you.

Re:So if you drink a lot...

[soloport]

I thought it was, "Two rights don't make a wrong".

I don't believe it...

[Flaming Babies]

I'm always tired when I get to work,
yet the women I work with are consistently unattractive all day long.

Re:Totally Inaccurate Report

[hotdiggitydawg]

Obligatory quote: "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." - Frank Sinatra

Re:I'm sure I read this yesterday on the BBC site

[BushCheney08]

Do you ever hear about their crack team of investigative reporters?

Just the thought of that gives me the willies. I think I'm more comfortable with "slashdot's team of investigative reporters on crack."

Re:Brilliant excuse

[Directrix1]

I don't understand why that wasn't formatted right, it was set to plain text:

OK, seeing as how this is Slashdot let me load your post into vim and make a run through the standard few corrections to translate for the majority slashdot crowd:
:%s/hook up with/masterbate to/g
:%s/woman/german fetish video/g
:%s/in the room/on my computer in my mom's basement/g
:%s/who was strikingly attractive last night/a picture of a sweet transvestite from transexual, Transylvania/g
:%s/have her arm draped over me/point out how pathetic I really am/g
:wq

We already proved this...

[ayjay29]

On holiday with friends, we got into the habit of a group of us suddenly waking someone up and asking stupid questions or saying stupid stuff.

"Wake Up!!! Wake Up!!! What's the captial of Paris? What's the captial of Paris? What's the captial of Paris?"

"Uhh, duhhh, uhhh, France!, uhh, no, no, Paris, uhh France?"

or even

"Wake Up!!! Wake Up!!! The Zebras have escaped!! The Zebras have escaped!! The Zebras have escaped!!"

"Uhh, uhh, Zebras, oh no, shit, Zebras, where, no, shit, what, Zebras?"

There's definatly a period of a few seconds after waking up when you have no idea what's going on around you. (And it's even worse when a bunch of gits start taking advantage of the fact.)

Re:Just one of the reasons...

[Anonymous Coward]

You need to take into account what he's doing there. I doubt the purpose is getting clean.

Re:Its just like...

[Zakabog]

5, insightful, I think the moderators just woke up.

Re:Brilliant excuse

[misleb]

The difference is, when you're wasted, you'll literally be ok with curling up in a pile of leaves, laying down on the steps of the bar, etc. When you wake up in the morning, there is no substitute for the bed :)

I dunno, my brother used to fall asleep in the shower in the morning.

-mattew

No kidding

[Hosiah]

My spouse has watched with amusement over the years as I have attempted my first task of the morning - making my espresso. It's a 50% shot if I can pull this off the first time, without forgetting to add water, add beans, turn on pot, plug pot in, get coffee cup, avoid cracking head on cupboard doors, etc. By the time I have espresso in cup in hand and I'm right-side up, I'm OK from there.

My theory is there's a boot-period for your brain just like a boot period when your computer turns on. The first five minutes after waking is POST, kernel module loading, login, starting the desktop...

Morning?

[Ranger]

For some reason I'm reminded of a bumper sticker I once saw:

Beer! It's the reason I get up in the afternoon!

Re:Brilliant excuse

[Darby]

When I'm waking up? are you kidding? I'm usually annoyed that the ugly troll of a thing sleeping next to me (who was strikingly attractive last night) has the nerve to have her arm draped over me.

One of those nights where you go to bed with Bo Derek and wake up with Bo Diddley.

Re:No kidding

[jcuervo]

The first five minutes after waking is POST, kernel module loading, login, starting the desktop...

Brain error or brain not present, please insert caffeine to continue...

Re:I was sleeping deeply

[Anonymous Coward]

That was rude. He just asked a question and you call him a myoclonic jerk?

Re:Remember Folks...

[Dirtside]

Best version:

When I die, I want to go peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather, and not screaming and helpless, like his passengers.

Re:I was sleeping deeply

[Reziac]

I'm a very light sleeper, and typically quite aware of my surroundings even when asleep. True story:

I'm taking a nap. I start having a dream that a spider is builing a web attached to my nose. I wake up and find... it's TRUE! Some stupid spider had just got done running an anchor line from my nose to the ceiling.

I don't move in my sleep (I wake up to turn over). I guess the spider thought I was dead. :)

Re:British army

[Daniel Dvorkin]

Oh yeah, she loved it when I'd scrabble around frantically in the dark for a few seconds and then ask, "Where's my weapon? Where's my weapon?" ;)