Army Develops New Chewing Gum 302
IEBEYEBALL writes "The Army is developing a new chewing gum to help soldiers fight dental problems in the field. The gum takes the place of brushing teeth, which the soldier in a combat situation might not have time or means to do. This sounds like the perfect solution for the geek on the go!"
NOT!!! (Score:5, Funny)
I for one.. (Score:0, Funny)
News just in from Singapore! (Score:5, Funny)
treading gum... (Score:5, Funny)
where does it stop? (Score:4, Funny)
Cue the... (Score:2, Funny)
"Enroll, and Blow"
Re:Nothing really new there (Score:5, Funny)
Noooo (Score:5, Funny)
Other news: Cola to replace flossing (Score:4, Funny)
This could be really dangerous! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Bad teeth? (Score:1, Funny)
Do you know when fluoridation first began? . . . Nineteen hundred and forty-six. 1946, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh?
It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual -- certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works.
I came... (Score:2, Funny)
I came to chew bubblegum and spread freedom, and it looks like I'm all out of bubblegum.
Uh-oh...this ain't good. (Score:1, Funny)
Oblig. Futurama Reference (Score:4, Funny)
Bender: And it pinkens your teeth while you chew!
Let me tell you about fluoridation, Mandrake (Score:5, Funny)
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Lord, Jack.
General Jack D. Ripper: You know when fluoridation first began?
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: I... no, no. I don't, Jack.
General Jack D. Ripper: Nineteen hundred and forty-six. Nineteen forty-six, Mandrake. How does that coincide with your post-war Commie conspiracy, huh? It's incredibly obvious, isn't it? A foreign substance is introduced into our precious bodily fluids without the knowledge of the individual. Certainly without any choice. That's the way your hard-core Commie works.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Uh, Jack, Jack, listen, tell me, tell me, Jack. When did you first... become... well, develop this theory?
General Jack D. Ripper: Well, I, uh... I... I... first became aware of it, Mandrake, during the physical act of love.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: Yes, a uh, a profound sense of fatigue... a feeling of emptiness followed. Luckily I... I was able to interpret these feelings correctly. Loss of essence.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: Hmm.
General Jack D. Ripper: I can assure you it has not recurred, Mandrake. Women uh... women sense my power and they seek the life essence. I, uh... I do not avoid women, Mandrake.
Group Capt. Lionel Mandrake: No.
General Jack D. Ripper: But I... I do deny them my essence.
Copied gratuitiously from the IMDB Memorable Quotes [imdb.com] section. So you see, it's not a US plot. It's a commie plot.
In the continuing coverage... (Score:1, Funny)
Wait.... (Score:2, Funny)
Hi, I'm Troy McClure... (Score:1, Funny)
A chewing gum that cleans *and* whitens your teeth!
Let's bring out the inventor... Dr. Nick Riviera.
Re:Some people already do this! (Score:3, Funny)
Yeah, but look on the plus side. The foul reeking alkaloid residues in our mouth do make our bite fatal to less habituated (weaker) humanoids. Just the thing to put smile on your face after an all-night coding session, albeit a bit of a yellow one.
BTW just to stay somewhat on topic, doesn't each MRE come with some instant coffee?
Yep. But it's crappy even for instant -- more or less I'd guess they're there to disguise the taste of nasty water. I've found a use for 'em though. I save them and carry them in my pocket. You never know when you could use a sub-lingually applied pick-me-up.
Re:Some people already do this! (Score:2, Funny)
These people also tend to have the DemonBreath from Hell TM.
smells like someone shit in a spearmint bush
Obligatory Simpsons Reference: (Score:3, Funny)
Homer: No, but at least rinse your mouth out with soda.
Bart After Dark [snpp.com]
Harbinger of a more peaceful army? (Score:4, Funny)
The Global War on Plaque (Score:1, Funny)
a war on poverty,
a war on inflation,
a war on illiteracy,
a war on drugs,
a war on pornography,
a war on terror,
a global struggle against extremism,
and now there's going to be a war on plaque?
MRE (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Sounds nice, but the dentist told me... (Score:3, Funny)
You might want to reverse the order of those list items.
Re:Some people already do this! (Score:3, Funny)
http://klomdark.servebeer.com:8081/MessageBase2/R
Floride makes you complacent and submissive.