Kansas Board of Ed. Adopts Intelligent Design

kwietman writes "The Kansas State Board of Education voted 6-4 to allow science students in public schools to hear materials critical of evolution in biology classes. The new curriculum mentions that theories of life arising from similar building-block molecules through purely random processes can be challenged by recent findings in the fossil record and by molecular biology. Not all were happy, however. 'This is a sad day. We're becoming a laughingstock of not only the nation, but of the world, and I hate that,' said board member Janet Waugh. The new standards will be used in statewide standardized testing; the students are still expected to know 'basic evolutionary principles.' As part of the decision, the Board of Education also went so far as to redefine science itself, saying that it is 'no longer limited to the search for natural explanations of phenomena.'"

Not surprising

[Phoenix666]

That they believe in Creationism. After all, living in Kansas they're probably convinced the world is flat, too...

Hey Kansas!

[Anonymous Coward]

We're becoming a laughingstock of not only the nation, but of the world, and I hate that

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!!!

-- The World

Cue the jokes about...

[gardyloo]

...noodly appendages.

Thank God

[MarcusX]

Thank God we'd never elect a fundamentalist like this to a high government office; the do enough damage in the schoo.... fuck.

Re:Good For Them

[hunterx11]

Of course I don't like Jesus--he still owes me 10 bucks!

Re:Good For Them

[BarryNorton]

it's pretty obvious if you study the theory that it really does have a lot of areas where uncertainty reigns

Yes, I think we should drop from education the idea that astrophysics and relativity theory, and particle physics and quantum theory, are the dominant theories in science and put on an equal footing the assertion that a big blue teddy bear named Cyril is reponsible for all human observations - that will teach those Bear-hating heathens to leave their models incomplete...

as usual on slashdot

[Clover_Kicker]

I look forward to an enlightened, civilized discussion about this controversial subject.

Re:Darwinism

[_Sprocket_]

"You will find that in OUR science courses, we do not teach about boogie men, evil spirits, elves or sprites...."

Or as an alternative...

"'Science'? You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

Re:2006 election

[Petronius]

They'll be able to experience "survival of the fittest" in Technicolor. muahahahaha.

Re:Arrrrrrrrggggggghhhhhhh

[Kraeloc]

I'm trying, but plane tickets to Sweden are expensive, and Australia is even more so. Canada's already packed with fleeing hippies, and France would lynch me.

Road map for the future.

[TinBromide]

' As part of the decision, the Board of Education also went so far as to redefine science itself, saying that it is 'no longer limited to the search for natural explanations of phenomena.'

on next week's agenda, they redefine education to be 'no longer limited by such trivial things as facts and the truth. Education will be a wholesome, enriching, and upstanding kind of thing.'

the week after that they will be voting on whether or not it should be mentioned in sex-ed that nocturnal emission's are the devil's work and if they should require that santa claus's personal history be included in every history curriculum.

Re:Mind-boggling

[hunterx11]

Personally I am offended that they teach Newtonian mechanics in the schools. Aristotle was much older and Greek, and therefore a more authoritative figure. And even the scientists themselves will reluctantly admit that Einstein disproved part of Newton's theory! I'm not saying that we only have to teach Aristotelean physics, but it is only fair to be open-minded and teach the controversy.

Re:Darwinism

[Council]

"Going for a science degree, huh? From Kansas, are you?"

"Okay, you're gonna want to sit down for this."

Re:Jesus?

[Anonymous Coward]

It does. They forgot all the vowels.

Re:definition of evolution

[Eightyford]

Have you been touched by his noodly appendage?

Sigh. Yes, sadly I have, but the Cardinal only moved him to a different church as punishment.

jk

New bumper sticker

[beforewisdom]

New bumper sticker:

"If you can read this, you are not from Kansas"

Re:Jesus?

[RaistlinN16]

It's at times like these that I thank God that I'm an atheist.

Re:Darwinism

[cgenman]

They should teach the new map of the US [chriscanfield.net].

Re:You are only hurting yourself you know....

[tomhudson]

Just goes to show ... the Board of Education will end up doing more damage to the US than any terrorist group could ever have hoped for. "Get 'm while they're young ..."

... and it's spreading ... (any errors in translation from the french are my responsibility)

Montreal, Quebec
Tuesday, November 8, 2005

A Ste-Rose resident plans to appeal a ruling by the Canadian government denying his group tax-exempt status. Monsieur Maurice Duplessis, who now insists on going by the name "Chef Boy-R-Dee", has stated that unless the government reverses its decision, his so-called "Pastafarians" will sue the government for infringing their constitutional right to freedom of religion.

Apparently, M. Duplessis claims that his sister-in-law saw the face of Jesus as she was finishing a plate of spaghetti. She said, jokingly, that they should offer it on eBay. M. Duplessis claims that when he saw the plate, he felt "an epiphany, a revelation", and that a quick search on the internet revealed the Cult of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

"They were offering a reward of $1,000,000 if someone could prove that Jesus was not the son of FSM, so I knew that I was not the only one," said M. Duplessis.

When asked about his new title, he said "I was named after one of the worst premiers in the history of this province; nobody would take me seriously with a name like that. I had another revelation while we were shopping at Provigo - so now I am Boy-R-Dee".

Apparently, M. Duplessis has had several meetings with supporters, including their first "church service", held in their home. "Think about it - even the Catholic Church acknowledges the central importance of the breaking of bread and drinking of wine, and the communion by eating of the body of Jesus; these are all elements of pastafarianism"

When asked how many supporters he had, he declined to give an exact figure, saying it was "more than 10, less than 20".

Government sources had no comment, citing privacy legislation.

Is there no end to this, [tt]abernac?!?

Re:Not surprising

[SoulDrift]

After all, living in Kansas they're probably convinced the world is flat, too...

Hey, in Kansas, the evidence is on their side.

It gets even more comical

[digitalgimpus]

Part of the fossil evidence includes

400 dinosaur tracks and over 80 human footprints

Yes! That's right! Fred Flinstone is a non-fictional work!

If you want more good laughs read on here [creationevidence.org] (click on Excavations in the left column for the above). It's FAQ even goes as far as Environmental (Global Warming) and Space! Because the creator is an expert on both ;-)

It's amazingly silly. What's bad is apprantly kids are taken on fieldtrips there, and told that's what the science community believes.

Humans and Dinosaurs SIDE BY SIDE!!!

Dear Kansas

[Anonymous Coward]

You are fucking stupid.

C. Sense...hmm...better make that Common S.

Re:Darwinism

[Mad_Rain]

Heh, in that case, let me help by linking to a refresher course in Intelligent Design [wikipedia.org].

ban quantum mechanics next?

[derniers]

if they knew anything about quantum mechanics (indeterminancy etc) then the board of ed would have to come up with an alternative to that as well-- of course, then they might also have to ban p and n junctions and all that other semi-conductor stuff..............

Re:Misleading headline

[c0d3h4x0r]

2)It redefined the meaning of science. According to the new definition, science is no longer is limited to searching for natural explanations for natural phenomena.

Excellent! So now student "science" fair projects can be about... well, pretty much anything!

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[account_deleted]

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Re:You are only hurting yourself you know....

[theshowmecanuck]

You are absolutely correct. So correct in fact that I think I'll re-define 'genius' to mean: "a rube who doesn't understand that you can't just redefine words that the rest of the world has agreed as to the meaning of, just to suit your own agenda."

You sir, are a genius.

Re:Cause the Bible is translated wrong

[magister707]

not necessarily " days", but "periods of my Father" (referring to God)

So that's why he's so cranky sometimes!

Re:You are only hurting yourself you know....

[ankarbass]

"But I agree, if religion bothers you, stay away from the heart of America (which is not only Utah, but pretty much everywhere outside the dense urban areas of the United States)"

What does "the heart of america" nonsense really mean? Do you mean rural america or are you trying to lay claim to being a part of some moral majority? Did the founding fathers label some particular part of the United States as the heart and other parts as some other kind of body part? I think you've been watching to many chevrolet advertisments.

One thing's for certain; nobody is labeling rural america as the "brain of america", and with kansas on your side, that's not likely to change anytime soon.

Re:New bumper sticker

[Anonymous Coward]

"If you can read this, you are not from Kansas"

1985: If you can read this, thank a teacher.
2005: If you can read this, thank God.

--
Let me see if I understand this right.
We're forced to pick god or evolution.
God. evolution. god. Evolution. Damn.

Re:Correction.

[nzgeek]

Hey fuck you skippy. I think you meant to say "New Zealand has Australia". They're the ones evolved (sorry, designed) from criminals. :)

Re:Not surprising

[Krach42]

Today I was thinking about this stuff. And I realized, the next time someone tells you that evolution is just a theory, then tell them that gravity is just a theory, then drop something and say "yep, still true."

Intelligent Design Hindu Philosophy

[Anonymous Coward]

In reality, it was Brahma who created the world...

At the beginning of the process of creation, Brahma created ten Prajapatis, who are believed to be the fathers of the human race.

He also created the seven great sages or the Saptarishi to help him create the universe.

Thus the universe was born!!

Realize the truth - be a Hindu.

More details, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brahma_(god) [wikipedia.org]

Re:What about Atheists?

[Anonymous Coward]

Who made it and what museum do they keep the original in?

Moses made it and the crumbled ruins of the original are kept in the Ark of the Covenant - NOT stored in a "museum" but a top-secret government warehouse that you would know about if your f-ing parents let you skip church to watch the Christian documentary, "Raiders of the Lost Ark". Duh.

Re:An Atheist accepts your apology in good nature

[king-manic]

As an atheist, I hold no quam. So many good things have come as a result of level headed religious people that I could never damn an entire religion based on it's zealots.

As a cthuluist I just pray that I am last to be devoured by the eldric horror in the ocean.

Re:Hey Europe!

[Anonymous Coward]

"The World"?! Is that you France? Strange, but I don't see thousands of cars on fire in Kansas at the moment, and no one's laughing over here. Strange group of kids here at /., and even stranger group of adolescent mods who encourage them...

Re:You are only hurting yourself you know....

[Schemat1c]

So what?

What a clever and intelligent response. Did you go to school in Kansas?

Re:Even better

[pintomp3]

i guess they wanted to leave a nice parting gift. i once hid fish in the ceiling of a house when i moved out after a falling out with my roomate. never thought of polluting minds though..

Re:You are only hurting yourself you know....

[Jim_Callahan]

The way things are going, 'the brain of america' will soon be known only as 'India'.

The Flying Spaghetti Monster Does Exist

[Soporific]

The flying spaghetti monster does exist. In reality it is a proven fact that after visiting an Italian restaurant and consuming spaghetti, beer, port, anisette, beer and at times tequila the legendary flying spaghetti monster will appear. However its most natural habitat seems to be (oddly enough) the same as the porcelain god's. Its other possible habitats include concrete, tarmac, carpeting and cars. In either case, the flying spaghetti monster usually will return to it's ancestral homelands within 24 hours through a "water disposal system".

~S

Re:independent thought

[Anonymous Coward]

Hey, everybody knows that one white American is worth a planet full of space niggers.

Re:You are only hurting yourself you know....

[Raumkraut]

IIRC, In the UK, the official difference between biscuits and cakes is that, when left out for a while, biscuits go soggy, whereas cakes dry out.
Because they're biscuit-sized and shaped, it had to be proven to the authorities (whomever they may be) that Jaffa Cakes were in fact cakes - they were threatened with a name change to "Jaffa Biscuits". I believe that this is because it's not a common occurance for Jaffa Cakes to last more than a few minutes after the packet has been opened...

Mmmmm....

Re:You are only hurting yourself you know....

[drafalski]

I don't *know* that we're not actually being held down by thousands of tiny invisible fairies flapping their wings, but I *do* know that things in a vacuum fall done at the same rate, and flapping wings can't help you fly in vacuum

But they're fairies, they have special wings.

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[account_deleted]

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Re:Correction #2.

[fabs64]

Funny how you Aussies always get it wrong - we Kiwis call YOU sheep shaggers.

Only because you can't think up anything we didn't come up with first :-P

What books?

[10Ghz]

What books are they going to use as reference when teaching ID? Däniken? Oh please, let it be Däniken! But I guess that wont fly, since his "teachings" are not compatible with the religious status-quo.

Missed a few...

[trurl7]

I think our dear considerate friends in Kansas have missed a few points - so long as they are busy re-writing the curriculum, and all that:

1) Humans are important, humans live on earth => earth is more important than anything else => in particular, more important than the sun => sun revolves around the earth. Isn't that what an Intelligent Creator would do? This is the theory of Intelligent Spin.

2) The Intelligent Falling Theory http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intelligent_Falling [wikipedia.org]

3) Intelligent Mathematics. Math is complicated. Therefore it must have been Intelligently designed. In particular, irrational numbers can't exist. An intelligent creator wouldn't invent them. After all, can you hold pi apples in your hand? No? Didn't think so. Therefore they don't exist

4) Intelligent Quantum Mechanics - all them particle things - see, they're not doing quantum mechanics. No electron shall decay to a stable orbit unless God's finger pushes it there.

5) Intelligent Chaos. Chaos is complicated. Hence it must have been Intelligently Designed.

6) Walking and chewing gum at the same time is complicated (for a proponent of ID). Clearly then, walking/chewing gum were Intelligently Designed activities.

7) Intelligent Thermodynamics - heat doesn't just "flow". It is "pushed" along by Angels of the Lord.

8) Intelligent Osmosis - particles are pushed through a cell membrane by the finger of the Lord.

*sigh* This is too depressing. I don't want to give those *string of contemptuous expletives deleted* any more new ideas.