Distant Planet Imaging Project Gets More Funding 264

Posted by ScuttleMonkey on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:05PM from the dreaming-of-zoom-lenses dept.

It doesn't come easy writes "NASA's Institute for Advanced Concepts has chosen a proposal by the University of Colorado (UC) at Boulder to image distant planets around other stars for a second round of funding. Known as the New Worlds Observer, the UC project is for an orbiting, soccer-field sized "starshade" shaped like a daisy that would funnel light from distant planets between its petals to a second spacecraft trailing 50,000 miles behind. If the concept proves feasible, it could 'identify planetary features like oceans, continents, polar caps and cloud banks, and even detect biomarkers like methane, water, oxygen and ozone [...]'"

Distant Planet Imaging Project Gets More Funding

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I just hope... (Score:5, Funny)

by dptalia ( 804960 ) writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:09PM (#13775677) Journal

...we can see them building the invasion fleet in time.

Sounds cool... (Score:2, Funny)

by jamesgamble ( 917138 ) writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:09PM (#13775683) Homepage

But did they really have to shape it like a giant flower?

Hey... (Score:3, Funny)

by bc90021 ( 43730 ) * writes: <bc90021.bc90021@net> on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:10PM (#13775695) Homepage

...I can see my house from here! ;-)

They could have chosen a better Acronym (Score:2, Funny)

by ZP-Blight ( 827688 ) writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:15PM (#13775739) Homepage

NWO? Really?

Re:Hey... (Score:3, Funny)

by Tackhead ( 54550 ) writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:15PM (#13775740)

> ...I can see my house from here! ;-)
...proving (much like the General and Special Theories of Disaster Area Tax Returns) that the whole fabric of the space-time continuum is not merely curved, but is in fact totally bent.

No Google Reference - Can't Be True (Score:4, Funny)

by ScentCone ( 795499 ) writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:16PM (#13775742)

Clearly we are unable to function without Their Googly Appendages, so I don't know how NASA is going to pull this off. Although a soccer-field-sized Space Daisy observatory does sound like something eBay would acquire, and that might get Google interested in a competing Cricket-Pitch Space Tulip.

And in other news (Score:5, Funny)

by Daysaway ( 916732 ) writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:17PM (#13775751)

Google plans to unveil their new software aptly named 'Google Solar System', which sews the surface maps of the planets together for an interactive flythrough.

But wait, there's more! (Score:4, Funny)

by Impy the Impiuos Imp ( 442658 ) writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:18PM (#13775768) Journal

> it could 'identify planetary features like oceans,
> continents, polar caps and cloud banks, and even
> detect biomarkers like methane

The bad part will come with version 3.0, launched in the later part of this century, when we zoom on on their alien babes on beaches, and see if they have silly laws regulating nudity, too. Or churches.

Quite frankly, I'd be way more scared if they had churches than if they did not.

Re:I just hope... (Score:4, Funny)

by Surt ( 22457 ) writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:18PM (#13775775) Homepage Journal

Unfortunately, you'll only be able to see them when they ignite their light speed drives. Those suckers are bright!

Phew. (Score:3, Funny)

by mctk ( 840035 ) writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:21PM (#13775794) Homepage

Soccer field sized cameras, tiny robots for planetary surface investigation, an infrared observatory on the moon, giant, laser-trapped mirrors in space...
Having recently watched Independence Day, I can say that I'm relieved that NASA is finally getting around to that RFDEW (Really F#*king Distant Early Warnings) system I've been proposing for years.

Re:I just hope... (Score:2, Funny)

by Profane MuthaFucka ( 574406 ) * writes: <busheatskok@gmail.com> on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:26PM (#13775848) Homepage Journal

Even worse, if the invasion fleet really has light speed drives, we will first detect them when they arrive in orbit around Earth, before the light from their light speed drives reaches us. We're doomed. Or we can surrender and hope their culture has laws against mistreatment of pets. Woof.

Re:How will the religious establishment react? (Score:5, Funny)

by nine-times ( 778537 ) writes: <nine.times@gmail.com> on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:27PM (#13775854) Homepage

Just posted on FARK today: Vatican astronomer ponders baptism of extra-terrestrials [cathnews.com]
That's right. You show me some ET's, and I'll show you some Christians that want to baptize them.

Re:Yup... (Score:4, Funny)

by SysSupport ( 872059 ) writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:28PM (#13775862)

Here ya go
*
_

Re:They could have chosen a better Acronym (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:28PM (#13775864)

I guess they thought anyone that would be offended by the acronym would already be at least suspicious of their motives because they are a government-funded project. In other words, it wasn't worth it to care.

Re:But wait, there's more! (Score:2, Funny)

by maynard ( 3337 ) writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:29PM (#13775881) Journal

Do you even want to see this thing [palisadestoys.com] in a bikini?!?!? Best the aliens be covered, if you ask me...

So the images would go into... (Score:4, Funny)

by awol ( 98751 ) writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:34PM (#13775920) Journal

Google "Not" Earth then.... Or maybe GoogleGalaxy.

Re:How will the religious establishment react? (Score:4, Funny)

by Digital Pizza ( 855175 ) writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:40PM (#13775964)
Eventually, we can look forward to:
- Human missionaries attempting to convert aliens to Christianity.
- Alien missionaries attempting to convert humans to their religion.
What fun; hope nobody starts a war over it.
Re:CU not UC (Score:2, Funny)

by CyricZ ( 887944 ) writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:42PM (#13775993)

The word is "pedantic", not "pendantic".

Re:But wait, there's more! (Score:3, Funny)

by ZachPruckowski ( 918562 ) writes: <zachary.pruckowski@gmail.com> on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:48PM (#13776030)

I can see it now. The guy scientists gathering around the screen, then suddenly "Eeww, Gross! What's that?" "I don't know. Is it normal?" "Sadly, I wouldn't know"

Imagine the possibilities! (Score:3, Funny)

by Locke2005 ( 849178 ) writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:48PM (#13776033)

With technology like this, we could even determine if the inhabitants of distant planets are so mindbogglingly primitive that they're still driving SUVs!

Great.... (Score:2, Funny)

by zimus ( 68982 ) writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:49PM (#13776037)

... an orbiting, soccer-field sized "starshade" shaped like a daisy ...

Let's just clue the entire galaxy in to the fact that so many hippies live here.

Re:Sounds cool... (Score:2, Funny)

by moogleii ( 704303 ) writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @03:55PM (#13776096)

Would a giant phallus be better?

Re:They could have chosen a better Acronym (Score:3, Funny)

by Locke2005 ( 849178 ) writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @04:07PM (#13776206)

They wanted to call it TWA (Telescope With Attitude), but unfortunately that acronym was already taken.

Re:center of the universe? (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @04:23PM (#13776322)

I think it's in either I or II Opinions. I'm not sure which.

Re:biomarkers (Score:2, Funny)

by Robotdog ( 669611 ) writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @04:24PM (#13776336)

That's just swamp gas reflected off of Venus.

It's really a weapon (Score:3, Funny)

by sytos ( 922406 ) writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @04:37PM (#13776447)

What they don't tell you is that it can focus sunlight into a tiny dot. Ah, the smell of burning aliens!

Re:CU not UC (Score:2, Funny)

by kurzweilfreak ( 829276 ) writes: <`kurzweilfreak' `at' `gmail.com'> on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @05:20PM (#13776802) Journal

What is also funny is that a giant telescope is being made by CU. *rimshot*

Re:I just hope... (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Wednesday October 12, 2005 @07:34PM (#13777706)

Allow me to be the first to say, "I for one welcome our new faster-than-light overlords".

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Distant Planet Imaging Project Gets More Funding 264

Distant Planet Imaging Project Gets More Funding More Login

Distant Planet Imaging Project Gets More Funding

I just hope... (Score:5, Funny)

Sounds cool... (Score:2, Funny)

Hey... (Score:3, Funny)

They could have chosen a better Acronym (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Hey... (Score:3, Funny)

No Google Reference - Can't Be True (Score:4, Funny)

And in other news (Score:5, Funny)

But wait, there's more! (Score:4, Funny)

Re:I just hope... (Score:4, Funny)

Phew. (Score:3, Funny)

Re:I just hope... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:How will the religious establishment react? (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Yup... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:They could have chosen a better Acronym (Score:1, Funny)

Re:But wait, there's more! (Score:2, Funny)

So the images would go into... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:How will the religious establishment react? (Score:4, Funny)

Re:CU not UC (Score:2, Funny)

Re:But wait, there's more! (Score:3, Funny)

Imagine the possibilities! (Score:3, Funny)

Great.... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Sounds cool... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:They could have chosen a better Acronym (Score:3, Funny)

Re:center of the universe? (Score:1, Funny)

Re:biomarkers (Score:2, Funny)

It's really a weapon (Score:3, Funny)

Re:CU not UC (Score:2, Funny)

Re:I just hope... (Score:1, Funny)

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