Anxiety Disorders Discoverable by Blood Test 407
Tomer Yaffe writes to tell us that researchers at the Hebrew University in Jerusalem have discovered a technique to diagnose anxiety disorders with a simple blood test. From the article: "The researchers hope that the anxiety blood test will soon make its way into hospitals and E.R. rooms and give doctors and psychiatrists a quick and precise tool for examining, and eventually treating, these disorders." The team has also set their sights on depression, hoping for a similar technique to detect these types of disorders as well.
What if their anxiety disorders involve needles? (Score:5, Funny)
Stop squirming away from the needle! We need to run this test on you!
Re:What if their anxiety disorders involve needles (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Anxiety caused by too much caffeine. (Score:4, Funny)
Who needs tests when we have Tom Cruise (Score:3, Funny)
It works like this, simply (Score:3, Funny)
In other news... (Score:2, Funny)
Wait a second... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Anxiety caused by too much caffeine. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What if their anxiety disorders involve needles (Score:3, Funny)
Wife: "Oh, God, I'm in agony!"
Husband (holding strip): "Honey, you don't have a headache."
Wife: "Oh, thank God!"
Hopefully they'll get this for ADD as well ... (Score:3, Funny)
I just don't have the attention span for that kind of commitment. Anyways, time to go find something else to post about...
I know I've stolen this from numerous comedians ...
Re:I have anxiety disorder (Score:5, Funny)
Tsk. Lucky you. I was recently diagnosed with Porsche syndrome. Unlike Renault, the Porsche syndrome leads to increased bloodflow which can only be countered with huges doses of adrenaline to even things out.
However, I still consider myself to be relatively lucky. A friend was diagnosed with Trabant syndrome. Now that is cause for anxiety...
Is this for the greater good? (Score:2, Funny)
Is this really adding to the value of anxiety treatment?
Re:Wait a second... (Score:3, Funny)
Is it possible we've got informed debate on
Re:What if their anxiety disorders involve needles (Score:3, Funny)
They cheated (Score:3, Funny)
Blood test: compare DNA sample to that of a Jewish mother.
If there's a relationship, then the testee has an anxiety disorder.
Disclaimer: I'm Jewish.
Re:What if their anxiety disorders involve needles (Score:2, Funny)
Scientological Explanation for These Results (Score:3, Funny)
The big difference between Scientology's theories and Pastafarianism's is that anybody can make up stuff about the Flying Spaghetti Monster out of whole cloth, but only El-Ron and a few of his successors are Allowed to make up Official Scientology Stuff unless they want Bad Things [uncyclopedia.org] to happen to them.