Company to Settle and Mine Mars 526
Rutgersen writes "Wired is reporting that a new startup is planning to colonize and mine Mars by 2025. From the article: 'The new company, 4Frontiers, plans to mine Mars for building materials and energy sources, and export the planet's mineral wealth to forthcoming space stations on the moon and elsewhere.'"
More like it (Score:5, Funny)
The company is using futuristing computing also (Score:5, Funny)
6.8GHz 1TB RAM and 2TB HDD Laptop
Numerials! (Score:3, Funny)
Late Breaking News: (Score:5, Funny)
Today bleak despair swept across our fair world when it was revealed by the Council that the invaders from the evil blue planet have formalized their invasion plans, and may arrive in force in as little as ten years.
K'Breel, Speaker for the Council, stressed that there was no cause for alarm:
During the hyper-patriotic riot that followed, several Citizens were trampled. In its infinite Wisdom, the Great Council has posthumously decorated them as war heroes.
Ooooh - Aliens! (Score:2, Funny)
Proof of an extinct alien life form then - fossilized bricks and dynamos.
pesky humans.. (Score:4, Funny)
NASA (Score:2, Funny)
Reak site (Score:5, Funny)
Hmm... their real website seems to be slashdotted:
http://www.ua-corp.com/ [ua-corp.com]
Looks good. (Score:2, Funny)
Wow.. (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Numerials! (Score:3, Funny)
It's safer to diversify. May I suggest that you invest half in them and half in our company -- 69ers Incorporated?
(It's a mining company, of course.)
Re:Numerials! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:How? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:More like it (Score:2, Funny)
1. Learn what a website is.
2. Colonize whatever
3. ???
4. Taco's a fag!!!
Re:How? (Score:5, Funny)
Calendar Check (Score:2, Funny)
I've got an even better idea! (Score:1, Funny)
the death star!
Re:How? (Score:2, Funny)
Planning office (Score:3, Funny)
What a coincidence... (Score:3, Funny)
funding... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Right (Score:1, Funny)
Yes! It's the wrong year! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:In CORPORATIONS we trust (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Yeah, and I will cure cancer in 2045 (Score:5, Funny)
I hope they didn't try to patent their method. I think Enron has prior art.
Re:Profit? (Score:1, Funny)
Re:The company is using futuristing computing also (Score:2, Funny)
Re:How? (Score:5, Funny)
On the surface of Mars, he'll carefully scour the surface, dodging renegade robots and flesh-eating insects. Eventually, he will find Torg, the robot that kidnapped Santa Claus, and use him to mine the planet. Naturally, the rock will need to be loosened first with the Illudium Q-36 Explosive Space Modulator. Piling it up, he'll take the return trip through a Gate Corps gate, reenter Earth's atmosphere in a spaceship shaped like a Galleon, (insert missing step here), and profit.
Re:The company is using futuristing computing also (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Numerials! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:More like it (Score:4, Funny)
I look forward to meeting with you.
Sincerely,
Mark Homnick, CEO
Re:Late Breaking News: (Score:3, Funny)
Ah, K'Breel, I see that the cowardly gne'el spawn still lives. How is that prosthetic forelimb serving you? Doesn't have quite the senation that your real one did, didn't it? Let me assure you, we still have dozens more martyrs-to-be waiting in your security services, many of whom are better shots. I swear on this beloved red soil, the QKTLM shall wrest control from you and your sycophantic toadies!
K'tah nrglah tn hk'tah ginr'l Marstv'k qa!!
Laaq n'tl Marstv'k qa!!
Re:The company is using futuristing computing also (Score:3, Funny)
Wait, I thought that bullshit and apeshit were inherently incompatible. Is there some new framework available that allows easy portability between bullshit and apeshit? If so, has the company that created this masterpiece gone public? I would like to invest.
Re:First Person To Mars... OWNS IT. (Score:1, Funny)
That would be the B Ark, right?
Re:More like it (Score:3, Funny)
OMG thank you so much for that info. I'm showing that to my g/f tonight to explain the streaks in my underwear.
Minor problem, UPS charges are a bitch (Score:3, Funny)
Didn't this company used to be called (Score:2, Funny)
Re:If it's too good to be true... (Score:3, Funny)
Don't you think that 10 years (2015) is quite long enough for the RIAA, the MPAA, Sony, and Microsoft to attain space travel -- combine MSFT's bankroll, **AA's militant in-your-face attitude, and Sony's robotics, and I would say that that represents one heck of a potent capability (almost Borg-like.)
Of course, by 2015 the USA government itself will be an ineffectual basket-case, having wasted all its resources on the continuing war in the Middle East (Kansas, Nebraska, etcetera) against rising sea levels, as global warming proves to be all too true. The USA's (in)ability to handle natural disasters and civil engineering projects will be legend by then.
Re:If it's too good to be true... (Score:3, Funny)
Oh come on, it's not that bad. At least you'd be relieving Mother Universe's menstrual flow. Thousands of women would adore your bold symbolic mission in the name of sanitary products, and throw panties at you. Which would be fresh and lack blood stains due to the miracle of Tampax.
We're all in this tampon-spaceship together. Don't forget that. This is not a time for pulling strings, it's a time for serious application of one's self.