Reintroduce Megafauna to North America? 855
sneakers563 writes "A team of scientists is proposing reintroducing large mammals such as elephants, lions, cheetahs and wild horses to North America to replace populations lost 13,000 years ago. The scientists say that parks could be set up as breeding sanctuaries for species of large wild animals under threat in Africa and Asia, and that such ecological history parks could be major tourist attractions. 'Africa and parts of Asia are now the only places where megafauna are relatively intact, and the loss of many of these species within this century seems likely,' the team said."
Already been done (Score:5, Funny)
I wonder which of these is most likely? (Score:5, Funny)
vs
It's coming right for us! Quick Ned, shoot it
What?! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Help me out here (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Can anybody... (Score:2, Funny)
The existing species haven't lost their ability to handle firearms, so megafauna have no chance.
Forget guard dogs... (Score:1, Funny)
CNN's AP story (Score:5, Funny)
http://www.cnn.com/2005/TECH/science/08/17/wild.am erica.ap/index.html [cnn.com]
The AP story ends with this memorable quote:
Donlan concedes that lions would be a tough sell to Americans.
"Lions eat people," he said. "There has to be a pretty serious attitude shift on how you view predators."
Re:Help me out here (Score:3, Funny)
Re:CNN's AP story (Score:5, Funny)
That, my friend, is what I call a selling point.
I'm picturing a service, we'll call it Rent-A-Lion, where in you hire the services of a lion for the afternoon. Now, say you have a boss who's a prick or you just know an asshole who needs a good eatin', you just park this lion in their house and wait.
Brilliant I tell you. As an added bonus, there's always the possibility that the lion would eat the evidence.
Obligatory Family Guy Quote (Score:2, Funny)
-everphilski-
Re:Help me out here (Score:5, Funny)
Both are very far from any known civilisation.
Boy, thats oil forsight. (Score:2, Funny)
I know bush sees oil in everything, but this is a new level.
1) Obtain elephants.
2) Place elephants states with open oil wells(tar pits)
3) Twiddle thumbs as they fall in, and turn into oil.
4) Profit.
Re:Can anybody... (Score:5, Funny)
Not nearly enough to justify the inevitable media outrage, but hopefully enough to severely reduce the number of stupid people in the country.
Re:CNN's AP story (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Can anybody... (Score:3, Funny)
Am I the only person here who's never heard of "megafauna" before, and thinks it's a funny word?
Reintroducing extinct fauna (Score:2, Funny)
As recently as the 1930s the liberal was found in great herds across the continent, even throughout Texas. This good-natured creature was sadly unable to adapt to defend itself against a new species of vicious and ruthless predator. Nowadays the liberal is all but extinct, surviving only in a few isolated colonies such as Berkeley, Cambridge and Austin.
who was is that said... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:What?! (Score:4, Funny)
Great idea! (Score:4, Funny)
Er - what's the problem with wolves? (Score:3, Funny)
Good heavens, educated people a hundred years ago knew wolves were no threat to people. And Bergen Evans, writing in the middle of the last century, could not find a single authenticated case of a wolf attacking a human being in the wild.
However, I hope to Hell they don't introduce those wild boards you mentioned. The idea of Halliburton's execs, or Enron's, being allowed loose in the wild is truly frightening. Or did you mean savage roaming packs of 2 by 4s?
Re:Help me out here (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Can anybody... (Score:5, Funny)
Funny how you failed to point out the reason:
As is often the case, the problem is simple -- though by no means necessarily easy to solve: control the pigs. What's really "funny" is that as the supposedly most intelligent species on the planet, humans actually create a problem (indirectly or not) then fail to address it. Let's hope that they can control pigs.
Sorry but I got to say it: the Tanzanians have made their beds, now they have to lion them.
Re:The Wilds (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What?! (Score:5, Funny)
Hey, anything that eats lawyers is fine with me.
Re:Can anybody... (Score:4, Funny)
Quick reality check (Score:5, Funny)
Is this the same crew who was pushing for reanimation of that wooly mammoth a while back?
If these animals died out 13,000 years ago, doesn't the secular world view this as a mistake on the part of natural selection? Are we really going to second-guess that?
'Cause if we are, I'm gonna lobby for bigger guns and trample-insurance.
Ya know, there needs to be just one "idiot" packaged with all these overeducated intellectuals to put the brakes on now and then. Remember GM corn- how the scientists thought 200 yards was far enough away from natural corn to be safe....while forgetting that the typical native honeybee has a cruising range of over five miles?
Ya never see these people trying to reanimate the sabre-tooth tiger....wouldn't that be earnest, thoughtful re-instatement of missing species? Hey! Let's make a dragon!....
Re:Help me out here (Score:2, Funny)
Re:They Want You Dead (Score:2, Funny)
Are we using the standard-gauge (.0011") or heavy-gauge tinfoil?
Re:Where to put roaming lions? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Can anybody... (Score:5, Funny)
So basically you're planning on turning the Bible Belt into a wild animal sanctuary?
I'm down with that! 8)=
Re:The Wilds (Score:1, Funny)
These are apes, not dinosaurs. (Score:4, Funny)
How could apes and nuclear war be bad? There's plenty of planet for everyone.
Re:Help me out here (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Quick reality check (Score:5, Funny)
If these animals died out 13,000 years ago, doesn't the secular world view this as a mistake on the part of natural selection? Are we really going to second-guess that?
You see, the thing you forget is that the mammoth was killed off by overhunting from pre-historic men. Since men aren't natural, expecially the prehistoric type, we have to undo anything they've done. The world has to exist as if men were never here, because men are evil and vile.
Death to the human race (except for me, of course) so that the world can be a natural place!!
Re:Help me out here (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Help me out here (Score:4, Funny)
A friend's comment: (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The Wilds (Score:5, Funny)
Re:I wonder which of these is most likely? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:A Little Late (Score:2, Funny)
It's alright! Calm down. Take a deep breath.
You're gonna be O.K.
There ya go.
Now set the remote down and turn off the TV. That's it.
Now for the hard part. Slowly press the power button on your computer and then poor yourself a tall glass of beer.
Re:The Wilds (Score:2, Funny)
She did say they were considering getting some big cats. I don't know if she meant tigers or lions or what.
Maybe she just meant they were considering getting, you know, big cats.
Re:I wonder which of these is most likely? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:The Wilds (Score:5, Funny)
We have such a place. We call it "Canada".
Yaz.
Re:Help me out here (Score:2, Funny)
Every single time I get mod points, what's left always expires right before I find something good to use 'em on...
Re:What?! (Score:4, Funny)
Kirby
Re:Help me out here (Score:5, Funny)
That actually happened to me a few weeks ago. It was my friends bachelor party, and I was just standing there with a Labatt's in my hand... and all of a sudden... BAM!
She made me breakfast in the morning.
Re:A Little Late (Score:2, Funny)
That's what introducing lions and tigers is for!
Re:Can anybody... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Help me out here (Score:2, Funny)
You say buffalo, I say tomato..... (Score:4, Funny)
A moot point. I bet they both taste like chicken...
Re:Great idea! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Help me out here (Score:2, Funny)
15 ft high wall? Like Palestine? (Score:5, Funny)
Solution if it gets out of hand... (Score:3, Funny)
Skinner: Well, I was wrong. The lizards are a godsend.
Lisa: But isn't that a bit short-sighted? What happens when we're overrun by lizards?
Skinner: No problem. We simply unleash wave after wave of Chinese needle snakes. They'll wipe out the lizards.
Lisa: But aren't the snakes even worse?
Skinner: Yes, but we're prepared for that. We've lined up a fabulous type of gorilla that thrives on snake meat.
Lisa: But then we're stuck with gorillas!
Skinner: No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, the gorillas simply freeze to death.
Re:Can anybody... (Score:5, Funny)
(We're being held hostage -- help!)
Re:Can anybody... (Score:3, Funny)
That would certianly be a step up from the current mushroom farm.
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Re:The Wilds (Score:3, Funny)