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Equal Time For Creationism 3451

Posted by Zonk
from the can't-say-something-nice dept.
Brian Berns writes "Many news sources reported on President Bush's recent semi-endorsement of 'intelligent design', the politically correct version of creationism that is currently in vogue among groups of conservative Christians in the U.S.. While Mr. Bush was reportedly reluctant to make news on this topic, he apparently felt it was an issue he could not duck. Most of those same news sources, however, missed the recent condemnation of Darwinian evolution by the Catholic cardinal archbishop of Vienna. This NY Times op-ed appears to mark a deliberate attempt to reverse the late Pope John Paul II's acceptance of evolution as 'more than just a hypothesis'."
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Equal Time For Creationism

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  • by BlackCobra43 (596714) on Thursday August 04, 2005 @10:59AM (#13239566)
    By which the future me went back in time and ejaculated into the primordial ooze, spawning life somehow. The details don't matter. In fact, the details create a ton of contradictions and other impossibilities, but hey, who cares about silly things like "evidence" when you have faith in my theory.
  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday August 04, 2005 @11:00AM (#13239584)
  • by Joe Decker (3806) on Thursday August 04, 2005 @11:06AM (#13239658) Homepage
    "....We wouldn't teach astrology in astronomy courses, or give flat-earth teachings 'equal time' in the geography class."

    Give it time, give it time.

  • by mmarlett (520340) on Thursday August 04, 2005 @11:09AM (#13239697)

    In Kansas, we intelligently design all the time.

    My favorite current theory is the Flying Spaghetti Monster [venganza.org]. Please note how it also explains global warming with the decline of the world's pirate population.

    From the founder's open letter to the Kansas Board of Education, which is considering re-writing the state's science standards to have none: "I think we can all look forward to the time when these three theories are given equal time in our science classrooms across the country, and eventually the world; One third time for Intelligent Design, one third time for Flying Spaghetti Monsterism, and one third time for logical conjecture based on overwhelming observable evidence."

  • by Schroedinger (141945) on Thursday August 04, 2005 @11:12AM (#13239736) Homepage
    You fogot the .1% of posts predicting the percentage of each category of post. Not to mention the % in the category of posts pointing out that you forgot the former category.
  • by 21st Century Peon (812997) on Thursday August 04, 2005 @11:19AM (#13239844)
    "administrators"?
    We'll have none of your heretical polytheism here, son. There is but one Administrator, and His name is ...
    Say, there's a good topic for a survey....
  • fuck em' (Score:3, Funny)

    by squarefish (561836) * on Thursday August 04, 2005 @11:22AM (#13239892)
    MC Hawkins says:

    Fuck the Creationists
    Trash Talk
    Ah yeah, here we go again!
    Damn! This is some funky shit that I be laying down on your ass.
    This one goes out to all my homey's working in the field of
    evolutionary science.
    Check it!

    Verse 1
    Fuck the damn creationists, those bunch of dumb-ass bitches,
    every time I think of them my trigger finger itches.
    They want to have their bullshit, taught in public class,
    Stephen J. Gould should put his foot right up their ass.
    Noah and his ark, Adam and his Eve,
    straight up fairy stories even children don't believe.
    I'm not saying there's no god, that's not for me to say,
    all I'm saying is the Earth was not made in a day.

    Chorus
    Fuck, fuck, fuck,
    fuck the Creationists.

    Trash Talk
    Break it down.
    Ah damn, this is a funky jam!
    I'm about ready to kick this bitch back in.
    Check it.

    Verse 2
    Fuck the damn creationists I say it with authority,
    beause kicking there punk asses be me paramount priority.
    Them whack-ass bitches say, "evolution's just a theory",
    they best step off, them brainless fools, I'll give them cause to fear me.
    The cosmos is expanding every second, every day,
    but their minds are shrinking as they close their eyes and pray.
    They call their bullshit science like the word could give them cred,
    if them bitches be scientists then cap me in the head.

    Chorus

    Trash Talk
    Bass!
    Bring that shit in!
    Ah yeah, that's right, fuck them all motherfuckers.
    Fucking punk ass creationists trying to set scientific thought back 400 years.
    Fuck that!
    If them superstitious motherfuckers want to have that kind of party,
    I'm going to put my dick in the mashed potatoes.
    Fucking creationists.
    Fuck them.
  • by 21st Century Peon (812997) on Thursday August 04, 2005 @11:23AM (#13239909)
    'And saying it was created by Creationists is a red herring. It doesn't matter who "created" it. The concept is what it is.'
    It wasn't 'created' at all - it evolved!
    ...
    I'll get my coat.
  • by StoatBringer (552938) on Thursday August 04, 2005 @11:43AM (#13240209)
    ID basically says this: A Mysterious Being created everything, using Mysterious Methods, for Mysterious Reasons which we mere mortals will never understand. Yup, that really adds to the sum of human knowledge.
  • by maxwell demon (590494) on Thursday August 04, 2005 @11:46AM (#13240281) Journal
    Then please add the following theory, too:

    The earth was built by the mice to find the answer to the question of life, the universe and everything.

    I really think that theory should be given equal class time! :-)
  • by clickety6 (141178) on Thursday August 04, 2005 @11:59AM (#13240521)
    America broke off from Europe 200 some odd years ago.

    More like 60 million years ago wasn't it ;-)

  • by Mostly a lurker (634878) on Thursday August 04, 2005 @12:04PM (#13240584)
    While ID cannot be definitively disproven, I present GW as Exhibit 1 in showing the conjecture to be improbable.
  • by adrenaline_junky (243428) on Thursday August 04, 2005 @12:06PM (#13240633)
    Ahh, I see now. Bush is actually a progressive with a keen understanding of science.

    He is abusing his power as President in a clever ploy to show how ridiculous policies such as his are. When he says that contrasting ideas on the origin of species should be taught, what he is really advocating is that schools teach just how unscientific Creationism is.

    Bush's ultimate goal is to finally expose Christianity and all other religions for the fraud they are! His entire Iraq War is meant to be an instructive lesson on the dangers of religious fanatacism.

    Brilliant! Fucking brilliant!
  • by Grym (725290) on Thursday August 04, 2005 @12:26PM (#13240940)

    My favorite current theory is the Flying Spaghetti Monster [venganza.org]. Please note how it also explains global warming with the decline of the world's pirate population.

    Finally! A theory that explains both the origins of mankind AND global warming. This can obviously mean only one thing: it's TWICE as good as the so-called "theory" of evolution.

    I, for one, suggest we begin reprinting the textbooks immediately.

    -Grym

  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday August 04, 2005 @12:29PM (#13240980)
    Just because your idea of philosophy is something to talk about while you're smoking pot, doesn't mean that's all there is to it.

    But speaking as one and for most philosophy majors, that is a large part of it.
  • by kitzilla (266382) <<moc.liamg> <ta> <gorfrepap>> on Thursday August 04, 2005 @12:33PM (#13241037) Homepage Journal
    I personally look forward to public schools instructing our children in other subjects formerly dismissed by scientific bigots and their NEA minions.

    There *could* be an Easter Bunny, right? And who are we not to admit the possibility of Santa Claus, Bigfoot, and the Boogieman?

  • by dr_dank (472072) on Thursday August 04, 2005 @12:57PM (#13241390) Homepage Journal
    "Not all opinions are of equal value, and we need to teach science - not religion -- in our science classes. We wouldn't teach astrology in astronomy courses, or give flat-earth teachings 'equal time' in the geography class."

    In this modern era of anti-intellectualism in the US, many would dismiss this statement out-of-hand as an arrogant, godless, know-it-all liberal who mocks the very foundation of our Christian nation. Rational debate with these types of people is a wasted effort.

    These are the same people who thought that, given some extra time, Jesus would come riding down on his magical unicorn to shit a new brain into Terry Shivo's head. People will believe what they want to believe and nothing will change that.
  • by Knight2K (102749) on Thursday August 04, 2005 @01:34PM (#13241922) Homepage
    Then I want power drills placed next to aspirin in the drugstore. I've heard your fancy theories about constricting blood vessels in the brain and sinus pressure causing headaches, but I know for a fact that there are actually demons in my head that are causing the problems. And every right-thinking person knows that the only way to get rid of demons is to drill holes to let them out.

    At the very least, people should know about both treatments so they can make an informed choice.
  • by JustDisGuy (469587) on Thursday August 04, 2005 @02:18PM (#13242516)
    The problem with this is that there is no opposing view. At least not one with any real support in the scientific community.
    Well, I come to the debate a bit late and no doubt this comment will go largely unnoticed in the cacophony of the debate, but I think you've missed the point somewhat.

    No one (I think) is denying that evolution happens. I think the problem is that people are claiming that human beings have evolved from animals. This is undeniably an unproven theory, and until you can show me the so-called 'missing link', it will remain unproven.

    Therefore, one unproven theory that takes a different perspective than another would indeed be classified as a credible opposing view, despite what you would like for other people to think. Saying there is no 'real support' in the scientific community is denying the credentials of the many Chrisitian scientists who do not hold your viewpoint. Even Einstein, undeniably a scientist, and arguably one of the most intelligent members of the class that's ever lived, believed in God and presumably in Creation. Not bad for an example of a relevant opposing view.
  • by jjjefff (525754) on Thursday August 04, 2005 @02:28PM (#13242630) Homepage
    So nobody believes in evolution because of evolution. Which to my mind pretty much proves that there's no intelligent designer involved in this process.

    Unless the designer's motives are not what you think...
  • by Rei (128717) on Thursday August 04, 2005 @02:42PM (#13242799) Homepage
    There's only one way to get this out of the media: a compromise. And there's only a fair way to compromise: equal time, just like the creationists want. Cover both timelines with equal detail devoted to equal periods of time.

    Of course, since the evolutionary timeline runs for ~4.5 billion years and the ID timeline for ~6,000 years, that would mean giving it about one second per school year.
  • by smoker2 (750216) on Thursday August 04, 2005 @04:12PM (#13243849) Homepage Journal
    But at least you don't see many "me too" posts ;-)

    Or even 1) Create Universe. 2) ??????? 3) Profit ! rofl
  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday August 04, 2005 @05:10PM (#13244568)
    ...pretty girls and cute babies eating ice cream over thoughtful, rational discourse.

    I've never seen a pretty girl engaged in thoughtful, rational discourse with a baby before, with ice cream or without.
  • A Long time ago, people KNEW the world was flat. A long time ago, people KNEW the earth was the center of the universe. Imagine what you'll KNOW tomarrow.

    Sheesh.

    KeS

  • by Intron (870560) on Friday August 05, 2005 @05:22PM (#13253633)
    Lets see where this is on the crackpot index [ucr.edu]

    -5 starting
    195 for capital letters
    10 for evolution being a religion
    50 for having no testable predictions

    I make it to be about 250. That's pretty good for a short post.

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