FDA OKs Brain Pacemaker for Depression

Duke Machesne writes "On Friday, the FDA approved a new therapy for the severely depressed who have run out of treatment options: a pacemaker-like implant that sends tiny electric shocks to the brain. The Food and Drug Administration's clearance opens Cyberonics Inc.'s vagus nerve stimulator, or VNS, as a potential treatment for an estimated 4 million Americans with hard-to-treat depression - despite controversy over whether it's really been proven to work."

The Terminal Man

[Gothmolly]

let the numerous tinfoil hat references begin!

Shockings will continue...

[jarich]

Shockings will continue until morale improves!

I for one...

[laughing rabbit]

...welcome our new micro-electric shock therapy overlords.

Sounds like the Happy Helmet!

[XxtraLarGe]

Happy, Happy, Joy, Joy, Joy!

just imagine...

[Paladin144]

Just imagine if you got one of these things implanted in your brain and it didn't work at all - that would be extremely depressing. :-)

and of course the obligatory

[Victor Tramp]

*BZZT*

Vagus baby, YEAA!!

*sigh*

[mE123]

I'm sure there is something snappy I could say here... but I'm really not in to it today...

I think I'm going to go back to bed

Oh Yeah!

[MightyMartian]

I'm really feeling down. I just don't know how long I can ZOT! Hey, I'm ready to rock and roll! I think I'll become president of the world! But that would mean having to find an apartment in a big city, and I wouldn't see my wife and kids very much, and I probably wouldn't get to watch reruns of Enterprise. Gawd, they cancelled Enterprise, I can't believe it, no more Star Trek, that's it I'm going to open this window and ZOT! Hey, good riddance, goddamn Enterprise, crappy acting, crappy stories, thank goodness there's Battlestar Galactica. Much better writing, interesting stories. And there's Doctor Who too. Great remake. But Christopher Eccleston isn't coming back for the second season. It'll fail for sure, then I won't have anything to watch and I'll sit in this apartment reading Slashdot crap on my computer. How can I deal with this? I think I'll tie rocks to my shoes and ZOT! Hey! That's okay, I've always got Slashdot. Maybe I'll get moded +48183 Insightful for this post, become King of Slashdot and supplant CmdrTaco! Oh, but then people will mock me, and call me a shill, and claim I do nothing but post dupes. I can't stand that. I'd rather ZOT! ZOT! ZOT! ZOT! ZOT!

New Treatment for Depression

[Kyru]

Brilliant new treatment for depression: Get Over It! World sucks, things aren't how you'd like them to be: Get Over It! Girlfriend dumped ya, sleeping with your best friend: Get Over It! Apparently living in a modern world means you get depressed a lot, but with my simple plan you just look past the crap and say 'eh, whatever' and Get Over It!

What about the rest of us?

[Anonymous Coward]

And why is it only for the severely depressed? Why can't the merely morose get it, too?

How about those of us who have just realized that our lives are going nowhere, but other than that we're mostly ok? Don't we get any shock treatments?

I think it could help a lot of people get from "mostly happy" to "Wow, this is a great time to be alive!"

And I wonder if it runs Linux.

Re:Zap, wow that feels good.

[Rosco P. Coltrane]

Personally, when I feel down, I remember the old adages: a gramme in time saves nine. Not to mention, a gramme is better than a damn.

Isn't it great to be an epsilon minus? We even have our own dedicated chatboard, Slashdot, to share our experiences.

Re:Oh Yeah!

[Guppy06]

Kneel before Zot?

Excuse me, sir?

[Anonymous Coward]

Excuse me, sir, but did you just say butt frenzy?

It's safe and confidential treatment

[Quiet_Desperation]

Because what happens in vagus stays in vagus.

Re:don't they listen to tom cruise

[CockblockTheVote]

it's because they don't know the history of psychiatry. and ONLY tom cruise knows the history of psychiatry. and we should be happy, because one day he will be allowed to tell us the history of psychiatry that he knows.

Re:Definition of wirehead

[Frank T. Lofaro Jr.]

No one needs to be killed over a few miliamps of electricity.

You don't have any idea how bad the electricity prices are here in Nevada.

Re:What could possibly go wrong with this?

[arkanes]

The pleasure button has been a staple of sci-fi and cyberpunk for pretty much as long as both genres have existed. I think they don't even let you in the club unless you've written a story based on one.

Re:Shockings will continue...

[Captain Nitpick]

This sounds ominous, like the plot from a book I read a few months ago called The Terminal Man. Same author who did Sphere...

You mean Michael Crichton, perhaps best known for Jurassic Park?