U.S. Scientists Create Zombie Dogs 1010
Alex_Ionescu writes "U.S. scientists have managed to revive dead dogs to life, by using a technique similar to cryogenation, in which the dogs' blood was drained and replaced by a cold, saline liquid. A couple of hours, their blood was replaced, and an electric shock brought them back to life with no brain damage. The technology will be tested on humans within the next year."
Brrraaaaiiiinnnnssss!!! (Score:2, Funny)
The technology will be tested on humans within the next year.
.. and after the testing they will become slashdot editors.
[segue: See the new George A. Romero movie LAND OF THE DEAD [imdb.com]! It rocks, baby!]
death and taxes (Score:5, Funny)
Ralston-Purina has responded (Score:5, Funny)
Big Deal (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Not On Me. (Score:5, Funny)
From what I understand, the dogs can't fetch very far either.
quick get the slashdot name (Score:2, Funny)
Brains!? (Score:5, Funny)
Dear Mister Romero... (Score:4, Funny)
George, baby, love that flick in the theaters now. Yeah, brilliant baby, that whole cpaitalist pig dog thing, and the gore, man you are the best...
George, baby, I was wondering if we could take lunch next week with you and Stephen. Yeah, we got this new story based on real life, we think it's right up your alley...
I Volunteer (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Oh no! (Score:5, Funny)
Attn: Postal Workers... (Score:5, Funny)
The Bad: Normal dogs will not attempt to eat your juicy, delicious brain.
I can't wait (Score:5, Funny)
April First Right? (Score:3, Funny)
What year is it?
Re:well... (Score:5, Funny)
George Romero? [imdb.com]
What do vegetarian zombies say? (Score:5, Funny)
Darwin sighs in disgust (Score:1, Funny)
Obligatory (Score:1, Funny)
I, for one, welcome our new canine zombie masters...
It's a dog (Score:2, Funny)
Volunteers (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Big Deal (Score:5, Funny)
Oh, so that's what happened. Do you know when the plan to revive him?
Re:well... (Score:5, Funny)
So what... they kill them, bring them back to life, and kill them again? That explains the concept of being given multiple sentences of death
Besides... from what I heard, as soon as the dogs were brought back, they immediately headed to the nearest computer and started incessently sending out bulk email.
Re:well... (Score:4, Funny)
It seems to me that this would, or has already been, tested on humans who aren't from the good ole US... The are billions of people of Earth, and they gov'y knows where to find the ones who won't be noticed... i.e. prostitutes etc.
This does bring up all types of amazing possibilities- like having this on ambulances so peopel could be suspended until they are at a hospital and the trauma team is ready...
Although I seem to remember a few times I tried to replace my blood with liquor, and even at a relatively low %, I still woke up with a heck of a headache...
Re:well... (Score:5, Funny)
I can hear it now:
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Igor, would you mind telling me whose brain I did put in?
Igor: And you won't be angry?
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: I will NOT be angry.
Igor: Abby someone.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Abby someone. Abby who?
Igor: Abby Normal.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Abby Normal?
Igor: I'm almost sure that was the name.
Dr. Frederick Frankenstein: Are you saying that I put an abnormal brain into a seven and a half foot long, fifty-four inch wide GORILLA? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TELLING ME?
Re:It's a dog (Score:2, Funny)
Multiple death sentences ... (Score:3, Funny)
Talk about extreme punishment ...
I can just see death penalty advocates jumping all over this - "See, we'll just keep everyone we execute on ice for a couple of decades, so that if we've made a mistake we can fix it, sort of."
And now we can torture terrorists to death - and beyond. Look out, Buzz Lightyear!
But don't call it godless necromancy! (Score:5, Funny)
breath weapon (Score:2, Funny)
Here's the scene... (Score:4, Funny)
"Woof!"
"Fluffy's alive! It's ALIVE! IT'S ALIIIIIVVEEE!!"
In the immortal words of Doc.. (Score:3, Funny)
Changing the song (Score:2, Funny)
I'm looking over
My dead dog Rover
Who I hit with a power mower
One leg is missing, but never fear
I've put him in cryo, next to the beer
No need explaining, life is remaining
I've put saline through his veins!
I'm looking over
My frozen dog rover
A little current will make him roll over.
Re:well... (Score:2, Funny)
I would like to know how they gauge "normal" behavior. Althought dogs are forgiving animals, I think they might hold a grudge if you killed them, and then brought them back to life. What are baseline are they using for "normal" behavior? Are we talking Scooby Doo, or a Pit Bull? Is success defined as the dog not developing a taste for human brains?
Re:Big Deal (Score:3, Funny)
Re:But don't call it godless necromancy! (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Or (Score:3, Funny)
I'll bet that reads much better in the original Klingon.
Re:Oh no! (Score:3, Funny)
(warning: marijuana jokes bound to follow.)
ObNethack (Score:5, Funny)
What do you want to #rub?
(w) - saline liquid
What do you want to rub the vial of saline liquid with?
(Q) - wand of cold
The vial glows briefly.
What do you want to wield?
(w) - saline liquid (cold)
You break the vial over the little dog's head. --more--
The little dog yelps! --more--
The little dog falls asleep.
The zombie dog awakens! The zombie dog bites! --more--
The zombie dog bites!
Re:well... (Score:2, Funny)
-Peter
Re:well... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:well... (Score:4, Funny)
brains.... brains.... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Here's the scene... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:well... (Score:4, Funny)
Well, on the plus side, they could collaborate with the Japanese inventor (can't remember his name) who is developing a dog translation device. I can see it now:
Dog: Woof! Woof!
Translator: Why did you kill me?
Dog: Woof! Arf! Woof! Woof!
Translator: Mmmm... Big, tasty scientist brains!
Re:death and taxes (Score:4, Funny)
-aiabx
Re:death and taxes (Score:5, Funny)
That's how you can tell these zombie scientists are liberals. Republican scientists would have tackled taxes first.
You know somebody would say it... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I call "bullshit" on this article. (Score:4, Funny)
Dude, have you never played Resident Evil? Never seen Dawn of the Dead? The mind isn't supposed to survive. DUH! Otherwise most zombies would go back to work instead of feasting on delicious brains.
Re:Russians were doing this in 1940 (Score:5, Funny)
Monday: U.S. scientists announce a new discovery.
Tuesday: Pravda reports that Soviet scientists discovered it 20 years ago.
Thursday: German engineers invent a device that puts the discovery to use.
Friday: Japan exports the device to the U.S.
If only I could remember what happened on Wednesday...
* Last heard this one back in the early 1980's, if that helps put the stereotypes in context.
Re:well... (Score:2, Funny)
Because if its the later I may want to become a paramedic!
Cue announcer, we haven't told them, but we've replaced these patients regular blood with new Dracu Instant Blood Product. Lets see if the can tell the difference!
Re:But don't call it godless necromancy! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Russians were doing this in 1940 (Score:5, Funny)
This Is Nothing New... (Score:4, Funny)
Inigo Montoya: He's dead. He can't talk.
Miracle Max: Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive. With all dead, well, with all dead there's usually only one thing you can do.
Inigo Montoya: What's that?
Miracle Max: Go through his clothes and look for loose change.
Re:well... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Or (Score:2, Funny)
Re:brains.... brains.... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:brains.... brains.... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Brains!? (Score:5, Funny)
Dogs don't know it's not brains!
Re:well... (Score:3, Funny)
About the green blood... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:well... (Score:3, Funny)
It was an effective tactic, as newts do not suffer from any of the maladies that had brought me to that particular pass. This bought them time to stablize me and develop an effective treatment strategy.
Actually, I was bit disappointed, as I had hoped to be transformed into a zombie newt and go out in search of amphibian BRAAAAAAAINS!
(I admit it, I haven't had time to read the whole thread. Has anyone pointed out yet that zombies are, by definition, animate, and thus a dog in suspended animation cannot be a zombie?)
KFG
Re:well... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I can't wait (Score:3, Funny)
Yes but the real picture [phillyburbs.com] was just too disturbing.
Re:Alvaro Garza, Fargo ND, 1987 (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Russians were doing this in 1940 (Score:3, Funny)
Profit?
*ducks*
Re:Definition of Zombie (Score:2, Funny)
It only gets the hopes of us zombie hunters up that we'll be off the dole soon. If you think the employment situation is bad in IT right now, you should try being a fearless zombie (or vampire) hunter (we don't do ghosts. They're just dead. Any idiot with a proton gun and a ghost trap can deal with them. Dealing with the undead is done hand to hand, or hand to paw, or hand to. .
KFG
Re:Here's the scene... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Think of the people! (Score:1, Funny)
Tom Cruise just recently became a 7th level Scientologist [radaronline.com]. This means, of course, that he can now cast 4th level spells, and that's what we're seeing.
Re:well... (Score:3, Funny)
What luck! I just happen to be...
*collapses on floor*
Re:well... (Score:3, Funny)
You'll be stone dead in a moment.
On a related note, I went into cardiac arrest when I was 2 as a result of a bee sting at a park. After 10 minutes of CPR, a nurse who had been at the scene where this happened pronounced me dead (much to the dismay of my mother).
A couple minutes later while everyone was giving condoloensces to my distraught mother, someone noticed I had gone missing. I was over on the swings as if nothing had happened.
Later, at the hospital, the doctors ran a bunch of tests and concluded I was fine.
There are some funny things that happen in life. For everything else there's ZoMbIe DoGs!
~X~
Re:well... (Score:5, Funny)
It could also be very convenient. Suppose not all the grieving relatives were able to make it to the execution. You could stage it again, possibly even closer to their homes. Think of the possibilities.
OK, I'll go sit in the corner and take my sense of humour with me.
Re:Brains!? (Score:2, Funny)
Upon resurrection they just moaned:
GRRRRRAAAAIIINNNSSSS.
Re:brains.... brains.... (Score:2, Funny)