Fighting Cancer with Math 263
zoloback writes "A group of scientists have developed a mathematical method to fight certain forms of cancer. The study has taken the team several years, but the first trial on a human has been successful. You can read the actual paper. It looks like a huge advancement in science, because there's a possibility to extrapolate the method to other types of cancer" From the article: "The researchers have evidence to show that all tumors grow in the same way, irrespective of the tissue or species in which they develop. In a previous paper, these researchers reported that tumor growth, rather than being exponential as commonly believed, is a much slower "linear" process similar to the growth of certain crystals and other natural phenomena."
She cured my cancer with math (Score:4, Funny)
I'm Dancin Santa, bitch!
Re:I can hear it now... (Score:3, Funny)
A joke... (Score:5, Funny)
A physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician are staying in a hotel in separate rooms. A fire breaks out in the physicist's bathroom. The physicist wakes up, sees the fire, does some calculations on his calculator, fills a cup of water, and throws it at the base of the fire putting it out while getting the rest of the bathroom hardly wet at all, and then goes back to sleep.
A fire breaks out in the engineer's bathroom later that night. The engineer wakes up, sees the fire, runs into the hallway and brings the firehose into the bathroom and lets the stream go full blast. After a minute or so, the fire is out, and the bathroom is soaking wet with water dripping everywhere, but the fire is out and the engineer goes back to bed.
A fire breaks out in the mathematician's room. The mathematician wakes up and sees the fire, does some lengthy calculations on paper, lights a match and drops it in a glass of water, says "It can be done", and goes back to bed.
Against my faith. (Score:5, Funny)
You can stuff all your "evolution" and "math" voodoo. Fucking heathens!
Cancer Crystals (Score:2, Funny)
sound methodology... (Score:5, Funny)
2. When they're not expecting it, nab 'em!
Wake Me When (Score:1, Funny)
3.141592654 (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Giving Myself the Finger (Score:2, Funny)
If you want, I could forward them to you.
cheers.
Re:Could they elaborate a bit? (Score:3, Funny)
could someone explain it to me?
It's simple, really. The cancer can't survive if the host organism is dead. Therefore scientists have proposed boring cancer sufferers to death with complex mathematical proofs, hence killing the cancerous cells and preventing the patient from having to suffer the horrible death that cancer brings.
It is not the point that the boring mathematical proofs are a more painful death that the years of suffering at the hands of cancer and conventional treatments.
Re:Giving Myself the Finger (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Sad part of the article (Score:1, Funny)
Oh my god.
I'm already dead and have been for 37 years.
This must be hell? That would explain a lot...........
Re:I can hear it now... (Score:2, Funny)
But in the US they would say "Nurse, quick I need 21/32nds of an ounce of..."
Re:Hell Yes (Score:3, Funny)
This shouldn't be so astounding. After all, for many it's already cured insomnia.
Re:A joke... (Score:5, Funny)
A mathematician doing an experiment? Never! (And yes, I am one.) The mathematician sees the fire, notices a glass of water on his nightstand, proclaims, "A solution exists!" and goes back to bed.
Cheers,
IT
Re:A joke... (Score:2, Funny)
The Physicist, the Chemist, and the Statistician
Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in
to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office,
leaving the three professors there. The professors see with alarm that there
is a fire in the wastebasket.
The physicist says, "I know what to do! We must cool down the materials
until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the
fire will go out."
The chemist says, "No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of
oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants."
While the physicist and chemist debate what course to take, they both are
alarmed to see the statistician running around the room starting other
fires. They both scream, "What are you doing?"
To which the statistician replies, "Trying to get an adequate sample size."
Re:No you don't (Score:3, Funny)
Very astute observation. It's most likely your species that dictates your ability to develop aviary cancer.
Re:How I fight cancer with math (Score:2, Funny)
ovarian cancer is completely impossible without ovaries, just like it is impossible for a female to get testicular cancer.
Don't oppress me, you insensitive clod!
I have an idea. Suppose I agree that I can't actually have ovarian cancer, not having ovaries, which is nobody's fault, not even the Romans', but that I can have the right to have ovarian cancer. It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.
An outline of the proof (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Wow. (Score:2, Funny)
Shouldn't be against your faith... (Score:3, Funny)
Shouldn't be a problem if you're Catholic. Remember: it is perfectly acceptable for Catholics to prevent pregnancy with mathematics, though sinful to use physics or chemistry.