Download Your Brain

Nicholas Roussos writes "Futurologist Dr. Ian Pearson predicts that death will be avoidable in the year 2050 by downloading your brain to a computer. Unfortunately, he is also predicting that the process will be only available to the wealthy for years after its release. I guess we should all start saving our pennies now."

Gives a whole new meaning...

[AltGrendel]

...to the blue screen of death.

Woo-hoo. Or not...

[Ciaran_H]

Oh yay, so Bill Gates gets to be immortal as well as evil.

"What are we going to do this millenium, Bill?"
"Same as we do every millenium, Ballmer..."

P2P

[trandism]

Search in eMule for the brain of the guy that screwed Jennifer Lopez or something.

Unfortunately....

[AugstWest]

...they forgot the -p flag when dumping it, and people will be restored with no moral codes.

Re:It's a copy

[madprof]

Quite. The only benefit might be that you can have arguments with yourself before you die, which would be quite cool.
This is just for the vainglorious.

Literally the Blue Screen of Death ...

[Anonymous Coward]

*** STOP: 0x0000001E (0xC0000005,0x8016A950,0x00000001,0x00000086)
KMO DE_EXCEPTION_NOT_HANDLED*** Address 8016a950 has base at 80100000 - ntoskrnl.exe

CPUID:AuthenticAMD 5.6.2 irql:1f SYSVER 0xf0000565

Dll Base DateStmp - Name Dll Base DateStmp - Name
80100000 337546bf - ntoskrnl.exe 80010000 33247f88 - hal.dll
80001000 334d3a53 - atapi.sys 80007000 33248043 - SCSIPORT.SYS
801d7000 336016a2 - Disk.sys 801db000 336015af - CLASS2.SYS
801df000 3356d637 - Ntfs.sys 80237000 344eeb44 - Siwvid.sys
8056e000 344eebdc - NTice.sys f1f48000 31ec6c8d - Floppy.SYS
f1f58000 31ec6ca1 - Cdrom.SYS f228c000 31ec6c99 - Null.SYS
f208c000 31ed868b - KSecDD.SYS f2290000 335e60cf - Beep.SYS
f1f88000 335bc82a - i8042prt.sys f2094000 3324806f - mouclass.sys
f209c000 31ec6c94 - kbdclass.sys f229e000 3373c39d - ctrl2cap.SYS
f1fa0000 33248011 - VIDEOPRT.SYS fe1a4000 349a9c93 - mga64.sys
f20cc000 31ec6c6d - vga.sys f1eb0000 332480dd - Msfs.SYS
f1d50000 332480d0 - Npfs.SYS fe164000 3356da41 - NDIS.SYS
f2124000 3593d4f4 - bluesave.SYS fe141000 335bd30e - Fastfat.SYS
a0000000 336157ac - win32k.sys fe0c2000 349a9cdd - mga64.dll
f1ce0000 332483b0 - Cdfs.SYS fdca2000 31ec6e6c - TDI.SYS
fdc59000 31ed0754 - nbf.sys fdc35000 337390ef - tcpip.sys
fdc18000 3362a53a - netbt.sys f1f68000 33644efb - ibmfent.sys
f1d70000 334d3add - afd.sys f2008000 33248371 - netbios.sys
f207c000 31ec6c9b - Parport.SYS fdc14000 31ec6c9b - Parallel.SYS
f2136000 31ec6c9d - ParVdm.SYS f1dd0000 332480ab - Serial.SYS
fdbaf000 3339777c - rdr.sys fdb9e000 332483b5 - mup.sys
fdaec000 3360f103 - srv.sys

Address dword dump Build [1381] - Name
f206fba4 8016a950 8016a950 00000001 00000086 00000086 00000086 - ntoskrnl.exe
f206fbd0 80115d86 80115d86 00000000 ff87a400 ff87a3f0 ff810408 - ntoskrnl.exe
f206fbec 8019d98f 8019d98f ffffffff 80139a54 80143378 00000000 - ntoskrnl.exe
f206fbf4 80139a54 80139a54 80143378 00000000 230edb30 3c8ca3b0 - ntoskrnl.exe
f206fbf8 80143378 80143378 00000000 230edb30 3c8ca3b0 26448761 - ntoskrnl.exe
f206fc10 8011bd6a 8011bd6a ff676980 ffffffff 34f9ad10 00000000 - ntoskrnl.exe
f206fc38 8011bcce 8011bcce ff676980 ffffffff 34f9ad10 00000000 - ntoskrnl.exe
f206fc60 8016a94e 8016a94e f206fee8 00000000 00000086 f206fe70 - ntoskrnl.exe
f206fc74 8016a950 8016a950 00000008 00000346 f206fe48 00000010 - ntoskrnl.exe
f206fc88 801163e3 801163e3 ff876f58 ff676980 ffffffff 00000000 - ntoskrnl.exe
f206fca4 f1f88825 f1f88825 ff876f58 ff676980 ffffffff ff876f38 - i8042prt.sys
f206fcc8 80117f93 80117f93 ff6c7328 ff876bf0 00000000 801126af - ntoskrnl.exe
f206fcd8 801126af 801126af 00000246 80112717 ff6c7328 00000103 - ntoskrnl.exe

Re:It's a copy

[kpwoodr]

You'd be suprised. When I died a few years ago I had this done, and it's been great fun. It was either this or getting frozen. I'm just waiting for someone to screw up and download me, and I'm home free. That's where the money will be. Allowing the rich people to take over a younger person's body.

Re:Consciousness in two places?

[devaudio]

What are you talking about? Riker did it on Star Trek the Next Generation with the transporter. What happens is one of the personalities becomes a member of the maqui, and the other becomes a first officer. duh

Re:Meh.

[MisanthropicProgram]

He's making assumptions based upon a dozen factors that psychics ARE more qualified to look ...

I always wanted to buy the mailing list and phone numbers of people who subscribe to those New Age/Psychic magazines. Then I would call them out of the blue and say, "I'm a psychic and I sensed that you needed to speak to me!" Then get them hooked and charge them $$. Now with the DNC list, there's no point.

Re:Woo-hoo. Or not...

[MrAnnoyanceToYou]

We could redefine hell for them and make them run in Win 3.1 for the rest of eternity.

Not really living.

[ShieldW0lf]

Until computers can smoke joints and get a buzz, drink beer and get a buzz, and have orgasms, I won't consider it "living".

In other news, a new "smart bomb" that kills the very rich without harming the poor has been discovered... they call it an EMP.

Re:It's a copy

[tanguyr]

If I go into a teleporter, do 'I' come out the other end?

Well, until someone invents a person-capable teleportation device, i think the answer is No.

Old T Shirt

[Embedded Geek]

"I haven't lost my mind; I'm sure it's backed up on tape somewhere."

Adult Swim Predictions

[dbretton]

Apparently he's been watching the Ghost in the Shell: Stand Alone Complex [ghostintheshell.tv] series on Adult Swim [adultswim.com].

In addition to the brain-puter, he has predicted that the future will also have power-hungry bending robots with a penchant for booze, smoking and thievery.

Re:It's a copy

[dsginter]

And what happens if the Evil Bit [faqs.org] gets flipped in the download?

Good? Bad? I'm the guy with the gun.

Re:Futurologist?

[Politburo]

since when can one make up a title for themselves in a made up profession and start posting made up studies to a reputable news site?

Exactly which website would that be?

Processed, er, diced more accurately

[Thud457]

But you'd be programmed to not notice that your brain was replaced with a shell script. All it would need to do was "frist psot" and "in Soviet Russia" jokes!

Flying cars?

[Anonymous Coward]

Downloading your brain is all fine and dandy, but will we have flying cars by then?

Mathologist

[nrlightfoot]

Just don't become a Mathologist, because 50 - 5 = 45, not 75.

ObSpock

[Rufus88]

"It would be most interesting to impress your memory engrams on a computer, doctor. The resulting torrential flood of illogic would be most entertaining."
--Spock, to Dr. McCoy, in "The Ultimate Computer"

Re:Human Tamoguchi

[Rude Turnip]

"I wanna have a pet GWB!"

IIRC, Dick Cheney has one of those right now. Oh, wait...

Re:Easy answer!

[vertinox]

The photocopy would be immortal so it could spend the rest of eternity to figure out time travel and then go back in to when my original was still alive and then prevent me from... ...oh wait this is about a copy of me?

Well... Then I hope he chokes on those dorritos and dies of exhaustion of playing to much EQ XXIV instead of setting the time aside to revive me!

Re:Ok, so my brain is copied...

[CaymanIslandCarpedie]

I'd like to think I'm more than just the information patterns in my brain.

Me too. Fucking science is always screwing with my delusions!!!

OK, it was funnier in my head.. er I mean brain.. er I mean consciousness... er I mean soul. Screw it, you get the point.

Re:It's a copy

[Captain Nitpick]

Well, until someone invents a person-capable teleportation device, i think the answer is No.

Attempt 7: Teleportation

Teleportation, in this case, would be the difficult technique of transporting a Convict to the Americas by disintegrating him here and reintegrating him there. With great expense, we constructed a teleportation device and stuck a Convict inside.

Result: Convict did not so much "Disintegrate" as "Melt."

From Reaching the Americas: One Mad Scientist's Approach [ironycentral.com] by Jeff Vogel

Re:It's a copy

[tanguyr]

hey, it's 50% effective.

i say slap a beta label on it and release it to sourceforge. some kind soul will iron out the remaining bugs.

I prefer AI toasters to yogurt.

[puppet10]

Toaster: Would you like some toast?
Lister: Mm-mm.
Toaster: Some nice hot crisp brown buttered toast?
Lister: Mm-mm.
Toaster: You don't want any toast then?
Lister: No.
Toaster: What about a muffin?
Lister: Nothing.
Toaster: You know the last time you had toast? 18 days ago. 11:36,
Tuesday the 3rd. Two rounds.
Lister: Ssshhh!
Toaster: I mean, what's the point of buying a toaster with artificial intelligence if you don't like toast?
Lister: I do like toast!
Toaster: I mean, this is my job! This is cruel, just cruel.
Lister: Look, I'm busy.
Toaster: Oh, you're not busy eating toast, are you?
Lister: I don't want any!
Toaster: I mean, the whole purpose of my existence is to serve you with hot, buttered, scrummy toast. If you don't want any, then my existence is meaningless.
Lister: Good.
Toaster: I toast, therefore I am.
Lister: Will you shut up?
[He goes back to sniffing his way through the book. Rimmer enters.]
...
...

Lister: Rimmer, there's nothing out there, you know. There's nobody out there. No alien monsters, no Zargon warships, no beautiful blondes with beehive hairdos who say `Show me some more of this Earth thing called kissing'. There's just you, me, the cat, and a lot of floating smegging
rocks. That's it. Finito.
Rimmer: Lister, if there's no one out there, what's the point in existence? Why are we here?

Toaster: Beats me. Do you want some toast?

Re:The obvious question...

[maxwell demon]

When I woke up, would I be the one on the left side of the bed, or the right side?

Yes.

Re:It's a copy

[Saeger]

That's where the money will be. Allowing the rich people to take over a younger person's body.

Why would there be money in "young bodies"? Bio-bodies aren't exactly scarce; these days anybody can use their computer to choose an bodytype of any age from fastsimulation-grown vDNA, merge a selected brainpattern (your own backup, or JennaJamesonLITE(TM)) with an old bulky meatbrain or a more robust substrate, then output that from a your garden variety large-nanoassembler.

Maybe you're from some alternate universe where an evil power elite kept abundance scarce in order to preserve the hiearchical social order?

bittorrent yourself...

[TheSHAD0W]

And label yourself "stephen_hawking.torrent".

Re:It's a copy. NO! Copy won't transfer. Goes like

[FyRE666]

Become one with the machine. Be the machine. But in this case, machine becomes you instead...

I think that only happens in Soviet Russia...

Re:The Outer Limits, cryonics, Alcor, etc.

[EvilTwinSkippy]

Space Travel?

Dear god I had them put me out to be reanimated just so I wouldn't have to live through it. I realize 30,000 years sounds like a long time to you mortals, But it's longer than that, When all you see is the inside of the same ship talking to the same people, you get REALLY REALLY bored. Think sitting in the Doctor's waiting room while they loop "Row Row Row your Boat" and they only have one copy of Highlights.

And no sooner do I get here, and you people have puked the place up so bad I'm ready to do it again. And that should tell you something.

Yes, but...

[BlueStrat]

..will I run linux? Can I run a beowulf cluster of me?

Re:It's a copy

[zwei2stein]

You don't have to wait 50 years to do it.

just get yourslves some nice mental disease and you'll be able to argue with several copies of yourself ...

Ob. Futurama reference

[tomk]

"as a disembodied head living in a jar, I envy the dead."

-George Foreman's Head

Re:It's a copy

[Impy the Impiuos Imp]

> Unless you find even your own cloned brain hates you as well.

That would be uncool. Imagine him revealing embarassing truths, like "Hey! LiquidCool once while looking at a video of a sow suckling its piglets!"

Re:Soulless

[GreenMarine]

It would be funny if they discovered the appendix in fact housed the soul. "And all this time we thought it was relatively useless!"

Re:It's a copy

[LesPaul75]

Trust me -- this is a road you don't want to go down. Your wife will die in childbirth, your children will be hidden from you, and the guy who used to be your best friend in the world will hack your limbs off. And then, just to rub salt in the wound, he'll tell your son that you're "more machine than man now, twisted and evil." What a prick.