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Space Technology

Military Seeks Approval to Develop Space Weapons 878

Posted by samzenpus
from the that's-no-moon dept.
ranson writes "The New York Times is reporting that U.S. Air Force officials are seeking Bush's Approval to begin researching and developing space arms. While analysts feel this move will be unwelcome in the international community, military officials believe that "Space superiority ... is our destiny, ... our vision for the future.""
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Military Seeks Approval to Develop Space Weapons

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  • by mbrewthx (693182) on Wednesday May 18, 2005 @08:02PM (#12572505)
    That's no moon that's a space station!!!!
  • by bman08 (239376) on Wednesday May 18, 2005 @08:04PM (#12572521)
    He's never going to sign this... right? Not Bush... Right. That guy is a conservative who hates spending our tax money on pie in the sky ideas, and loves life... right? He believes we've already got the best weapons in the world, and couldn't imagine us needing more...right? Besides, at his heart, Bush is a diplomat who understands that the US can't go it alone in the world and far be it for him to swing his cock around... right? Right?
  • by Rei (128717) on Wednesday May 18, 2005 @08:27PM (#12572729) Homepage
    See, the truths we cling to depend greatly on one's point of view. We're not really closing bases - we're simply relocating them 200 miles up and phasing out the manpower in favor of automation. :)

  • by ylikone (589264) on Wednesday May 18, 2005 @08:27PM (#12572734) Homepage
    they want their star wars plans back.
  • by TripMaster Monkey (862126) * on Wednesday May 18, 2005 @08:29PM (#12572744)

    Screw bills....we'll drop pennies [xmission.com] on them.

  • by ThreeE (786934) on Wednesday May 18, 2005 @08:29PM (#12572746)
    It's not sad -- it's a great thing. People are going to explore this frontier and like any other frontier they are going to need a military presence to keep the "Indians" from scalping us.

    In addition, it's the high ground. Who would you rather have controlling the high ground?

    BTW, the Russians were the first to militarize space. Cosmonauts took pistols with them in case they needed to kill predators (wolves) when they "thumped down." Recovery crews could take forever to get to them...
  • by Anonymous Coward on Wednesday May 18, 2005 @08:30PM (#12572756)
    Our agenda, successful to date, carries the invasion to Florida, Arizona and California; spearheaded by fat old people in white shoes and polyester.
  • by syousef (465911) on Wednesday May 18, 2005 @08:33PM (#12572781) Journal
    ...both in Cinemas and in American Congress.

    I guess that's the power of the dark side of the farce.

  • by interiot (50685) on Wednesday May 18, 2005 @08:37PM (#12572820) Homepage
    Fucking brilliant...

    after the war is over and we've killed all the terrorists, the people who are still alive can rebuild their country by picking the pennies from the skulls of the dead people. Not only will we have won the war, but we don't even have to worry about paying war reparations. It's the perfect plan because everybody wins. We kill all the evil terrorists, and give them some of our own currency to rebuild their country with. Eventually when we open the first Starbucks in their country, we won't even have to worry about currency exchange because they can use the left-over money to buy beverages, and let's face it, who could resist an ice cold frappuccino after a long war?
  • by softspokenrevolution (644206) on Wednesday May 18, 2005 @08:49PM (#12572923) Journal
    Well, we need that to maintain the Stargate program.
  • by Rob_Bryerton (606093) on Wednesday May 18, 2005 @09:07PM (#12573064) Homepage
    1. Mount giant solar cells on Satellite along with capacitors and a giant fucking laser.
    2. Aim from space.
    3. Fire a pulse light right over someones head and assasinate them.
    4. End war on terror.


    Are you nuts? Posting these kind of threats in public will get the Secret Service after you in no time flat.

    Question: How do you tell one rag-head camel jocky from all the rest when viewing them from above?

    Oooooh, you meant..... Never mind ;)
  • by rice_burners_suck (243660) on Wednesday May 18, 2005 @09:15PM (#12573125)
    I think the United States has the right, and more importantly, the responsibility to develop space weapons. There are all kinds of terrible things going on in the world. The United States has thus far demonstrated that it is the most responsible when it comes to protecting human rights, helping countries in need, providing aid to other countries when disaster strikes... In fact, the United States doesn't really owe any of these countries anything, but it still helps out because it's the right thing to do, and because the American people are the most generous throughout the world.

    Say what you will about the United States and the American people. While Hollywood pop culture and defective ideas spread by the extreme left would have you believe otherwise, this nation has done the right thing time and time again.

    It is perfectly fine for the United States to have space weapons. The same applies to nucular weapons (I voted for Bush, can you tell?) and every other type of weapon in existance. This is because the U.S. uses such weapons responsibly. It is not okay for most other nations to have access to such weapons. This is because they would use them irresponsibly. This is akin to a police officer carrying a gun (the United States) versus a bank robber carrying the same gun (parts of: Europe, Africa, Asia--these areas have demonstrated, within the last century, that they are not responsible).

  • by jav1231 (539129) on Wednesday May 18, 2005 @09:27PM (#12573231)
    You had me at, "U.S. should have space weapons."
  • by quakeroatz (242632) on Wednesday May 18, 2005 @10:22PM (#12573564) Journal
    Funny were seeing this happen just as the new Star Wars movie comes out.

    1) Dubya sees advance screening of SW6
    2) Dubya demands urgent funding to develop space weapons to protect against Sith invasion.
    3) George Lucas is sent to Guantanamo.
    4) Dubya blows up the moon, certain that it holds enough WMD to wipe out planets in a single burst.
    5) Barbra calls Dubya and tells him it's just a movie.
  • by jd (1658) <imipak@yaCOLAhoo.com minus caffeine> on Wednesday May 18, 2005 @11:58PM (#12574236) Homepage Journal
    International Space Race Sweepstakes!


    • European Space Agency, riding Arianne V, hoping it won't throw them at the first jump, 100-1 outsiders.
    • China, trying to get something that doesn't blow up, 100-1 outsiders.
    • Russia, who are very good now about not blowing up but whose space center fell down and the only good engineer they had died of a brain tumor some decades ago, 100-1 outsiders.
    • India, who seem to have rockets but don't seem to realize you can't reach orbit on curry powder alone, 100-1 outsiders.
    • The OzRoc team, who could probably reach orbit by climbing up the pile of spent rockets they've launched, but who have never got anything close to orbit by flight, 1000-1 outsiders.
    • Burt Rutan, who seems to have a clue but whose designs spin out of control at the mere sight of a weightless M&M, although his designs HAVE reached the recognized edge of the atmosphere, 1000-1 outsider.
    • Sir Richard Branson, whose ego IS in orbit, would probably try if he wasn't busy trying to make sucker millionaires pay him big bucks to see weightless M&M's for themselves, 10000-1 outsider.
    • The combined forces of the FSF, BSD developers, EFF, Slashdot, Linus Torvalds, a slightly puzzled penguin and some University drinking society - provided the tensions didn't undergo a matter/anti-matter reaction, I'd probably rate this as being the best bet. You have the brains, the raw computing power required, the expertise needed to make use of that computing power, and probably enough financial clout to build something based on the designs worked out. On the other hand, put that lot in the same room, and you'll think the bloodier bits in the Old Testament were tame in comparison. I don't see how you'd get a gestalt out of them, though if you could, it would be close to unstoppable.

  • by flacco (324089) on Thursday May 19, 2005 @12:03AM (#12574268)
    exactly. This is how the internet was founded. It started by the Department of Defence


    cool! i can hardly wait until orbiting mini-nuke-tipped bunker-busters are available in walmart!

  • by fbform (723771) on Thursday May 19, 2005 @01:52AM (#12574816)
    to keep the "Indians" from scalping us.

    +1, Vile Pun.

  • by Abcd1234 (188840) on Thursday May 19, 2005 @01:57AM (#12574826) Homepage
    I don't think that confrontation is coming anytime soon.

    Muahaha! That's what's so brilliant! We've just been biding our time until the right moment to strike presents itself! But soon, sooooon, we will rush down like the proverbial Mongol hoard we are and destroy you with our... our... our submarine and, err, carribou! And then, just when you think you've had enough, we'll apologize profusely and go home. He he he, the perfect plan!

Machines certainly can solve problems, store information, correlate, and play games -- but not with pleasure. -- Leo Rosten

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