The Top Three Reasons for Humans in Space

An anonymous reader writes "Why humans in space? The Space Review has the top three reasons: 3. To work. 2. To live. 1. To survive. 'To work' means doing stuff in space: research, explore, visit, etc. 'To live' means to have humans/life beyond Earth in colonies/settlements. 'To survive' means that putting humans/life beyond Earth is a very Good Thing in case a very Bad Thing happens to humans/life on Earth."

Real Top Reason

[gowen]

0. FOX News satellite broadcasts pointing in opposite direction.

0 base counter...

[ackthpt]

It's a 0 based counter, it's missing the 0th reason for humans in space.

Mutants!

Yes, you too can mutate beyond your wildest dreams, slice-n-dice your DNA and see what progeny you yield! Two heads? Three arms? Oh, no! That's fine for the Beeblebrox's next door over, but you could have any of the following with proper exposure to unshielded solar radation:

• Green scale in place of skin!
• Radar Vision!
• Able to leap small buildings in a few bounds!
• Hyperspeed!
• Oil Breath! (Please note: If you develop this desirable trait, contact The Oil Producers & Exploitation Council, 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, Washinton DC or your local Halliburton branch office.)
• Snake Hair!
• X-Ray Hearing!
• The ability to become water in any shape or form!
• Huge pectoral muscles!
• Chicken feet!
• Facial tentacles!
• Long black hair, pasty white skin and interchangeable noses!
• Shark fins and laser eyes!

Or with improper planning it may just be a short-lived pile of goo! Send for free brochure:

Spam-Wise

PO Box 1484
West Lompoc, Kasans

(Include $10 for shipping and handling)

Work?

[bigtallmofo]

How the heck did "Work" beat out "Anti-Gravity Porn"?

I can understand Living and Surviving are pretty important but I could list a few hundred things that would beat out "Work" on my priority list.

#3

[smittyoneeach]

1. Space
2. ???
3. Profit!!!

The REAL reason

[bonch]

The glorious potential of space porn!

Re:Regarding the article:

[Mr.Dippy]

"but does that mean it's our manifest destiny to spread life throughout the universe, merely for the sake of spreading life?"

Obviously you were not raised Catholic.

Re:Regarding the article:

[TripMaster Monkey]

Obviously you were not raised Catholic.

Actually, I was. That's why I'm questioning this one.

TM: "Uh, hi...my name is TripMaster Monkey, and I'm a recovering Catholic."
Group: "HI, TRIPMASTER!"

Re:What Bad Things?

[bvdbos]

What if someone decides to have a intergalactic highway running exactly over the planet earth. On the other hand, if we decide to move into space, our ranking from "mostly harmless" will go up for sure:=)

Re:NASA's Missing the Mark

[daeley]

Then it would have to be NOSA instead of NASA, which would piss off NOAA to no end, forcing the president to combine them under DHS into the Nautical/Aeronautic Defense Administration or NADA.

Reason #3 sounds a lot like a Dilbert engineer.

[ledow]

Always have a backup civilisation/planet/atmosphere in case the first goes down.

Make sure you have enough redundancy in your population to ensure DNA data integrity

Re:Regarding the article:

[RichardX]

I believe it is arrogant of man to think he is capable of damaging the earth to the point of it being uninhabitable

Damn straight!
That's why I propose we cut straight to the chase, and blow up the sun.
Who's with me?

Re:Survive?

[RichardX]

Sure, but you're missing an important point
<echo>"Humans... On other plaaaaaaaannnnneeeettttttssss"</echo>
just doesn't sound as good as
<echo>"Humans... iiiiiin spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace!"</echo>

Re:Regarding the article:

[Anonymous Coward]

you are correct, hey just 13 years ago they admitted that galileo was right and issued a formal apology.

Re:0 base counter...

[sharkey]

Spam-Wise
PO Box 1484
West Lompoc, Kasans

Spam? Spam Gangree, is that you? How is Frito doing these days?

Re:We cannot deal with either case

[Intron]

I'm pretty sure they used rockets.

Real reason: Job security

[BrentRJones]

Real reason: Job security for space scientists.

Robotic exploration of space is the only kind we should ever do.

Civilization ending events

[Stunning Tard]

"The probability of such an event striking both Earth and one or more space colonies in quick succession is far lower."

Maybe not so remote.

I am picturing the Mars colony having their own Mars tea party, civil war, independance day, and finally both planets creating IPBM's (Inter-Planetary Ballistic Missiles) ushering in a new era of inter-planetary MAD.

You also have to consider the possibility of Marvin the Marshan finding his Uranium PU-36 Explosive Space modulator or the Cylons attacking.

Re:Another reason...

[intangible]

Whatever can be done by a man, a probe can do better.

A female on slashdot?

Re:On my whiteboard at work...

[Peldor]

Try writing underneath it:

NASA is going to be extinct because it is run by dinosaurs.

Re:Regarding the article:

[Golias]

Hey, don't discourge the fanatics from moving to mars. This world will be far better off with them on Mars.

But wouldn't we all die from our dirty telephones then?

Mod parent down

[leonbrooks]

-1, Too Reasonable