Scientists Find Soft Tissue in T-Rex Fossil

douglips writes "Reuters is running a story about a shocking development in paleontology: A T-Rex thigh bone fossil was reluctantly broken to fit in a transport helicopter, and inside soft tissue was found. It appears to include blood vessels and bone cells. Scientists hope to isolate proteins, and perhaps even DNA."

Let the cloning begin!

[mycro]

Let the cloning begin!

Uh oh.

[Anonymous Coward]

Where's Jeff Goldblum when you need him?

Thank god for Jurassic Park...

[Goronmon]

Now we know that when the cloned T-Rex escapes, if you stand perfectly still it won't see you!

I for one....

[CoffeeJedi]

hail our new cloned-DNA T-rex overlor-*CHOMP*

Lessons

[odano]

If I said it once, I've said it a thousand times...

Modern helicopters are just too small!

good food...

[trb]

mmm, soup!

Dinosaurs are a myth

[Anonymous Coward]

after all, earth is only 6000 years old and was created in 40 days, unless my sources are wrong

Re:Thank god for Jurassic Park...

[mrtroy]

Now we know that when the cloned T-Rex escapes, if you stand perfectly still it won't see you!

Also, do NOT run directly to the shitter.

Finally

[ChozCunningham]

We can check for traces of tar, nicotine and other toxins, and scientists will get to end the extinction debate [kidsgrowth.com]. Seriously, might this be the biggest news of the decade? Longer?

When I get my T-Rex...

[a gremlin]

those damn SUVs better watch out. Yeah, who owns the road now %^*@$!

Re:Uh oh.

[TheWhaleShark]

Pfft. All we need to do is a find a girl that knows how to use Unix.

Shit.

Fuck

[erikharrison]

Anybody got a handy chaos theorist? Anybody? Seriously, I need a chaos theorist, oily hair, glasses, fuzzy math skills, preferably debauched.

Alternatively do any of you know anything about UNIX systems?

Why did I read this as ...

[ArsenneLupin]

"Scientists Find Kleenex Tissue in T-Rex Bone"... and thought "those damn litter pigs"!

This may prove Homer Simpson wrong..

[kalel666]

Homer: He may be rich, but money can't buy everything!
Marge: Like what?
Homer: . . . A Dinosaur!

I want to be the first 35 year old kid on my block with a T-Rex. Leash laws be damned!

It's a new secret weapon...

[kdougherty]

We can clone secret t-rex weapons and release them on fueding countries to settle wars! ... Or we could just open a theme park, go visit, and get killed. Just remember that he can't see you if you don't move.

What I want to knkow is..

[UncleBiggims]

Why would a T-Rex be using Kleenex?

Hello?... Is this thing on?

why? Why? WHY?

[Conspiracy_Of_Doves]

WHY did it have to be the DNA of a T-Rex? Why couldn't it have been a nice herbivore, like a stegosaurus, or even better, one of those little chicken-sized dinos?

Now there's going to be running and screaming, and it's all going to be a big huge mess.

Re:Let the cloning begin!

[MudButt]

Let the cloning begin!

CRAP! I just bought a new Rottweiler for home security too!

Re:Thank god for Jurassic Park...

[nizo]

As much as I trust TV and the essentially random guesses made by people about something that has been dead for millions of years, I am not sure I want to stand still while being chased by a really big meat-eating dinosaur unless I am reeeaaally extra sure that it won't see me. On the upside I only have to run past the other people who have seen Jurassic Park and are standing still to test if this theory is true or not. If it runs past them I simply freeze, otherwise I can escape while it chomps on the first few unlucky souls to hold still.

Let the cloning begin!

[Sebadude]

Let the cloning begin! ...

Oh, yeah!

[KC7GR]

Mmmm... It -does- taste like chicken. If you can imagine 10,000 year-old chicken getting better with age.

Now if I can just find a 10,000 year-old White Zin to go with it...

Forced?

[sugapablo]

"Paleontologists forced to break the creature's massive thighbone to get it on a helicopter..."

Who was heading this team, Homer Simpson?

I can just see him now:
Homer: "Grrr..."
Lisa: "Dad, it's just too big to fit in there."
Homer: "Nonsense Lisa, daddy will just shove it in....Grrr....here it goes...." *snap* "...DOH!"

Re:But how?

[ChrisMaple]

They preserved soft tissues because they had a successful anti-aging skin cream industry.

Re:Let the cloning begin!

[Anonymous Custard]

>Let the cloning begin!

Great idea! I mean, what could possiblye go wrong? Oops, that's possibly. Heh, that's the first thing that's ever gone wrong...

Re:Fuck

[The-Bus]

The last chaos theorist we kept around wandered into the teleporation lab and turned into a half-man half-fly.

Re:Jurassic Park

[MrBlue VT]

Ignorance of "Time Cube" indicts you stupid and evil. Explain the "Time Cube". Do you like being Stupid? "Our Cube" corners Liars!

Re:I for one....

[jd]

You know, that could also be read as you eating the dinosaur. Hmmm. T Rex Burgers! Really DO Taste Like Chicken!

Re:Precedent

[Swamii]

This is not the first identification of soft protein laden tissue that has been extracted from dinosaur tissue as Mary Schweitzer at North Carolina State University has extracted these tissues from other tissues as well, so there is a precedent.

Of course getting actual DNA from these tissues will be a long shot due to its fragile nature, but protein sequence may prove very informative in letting us define exactly where genetic lineages have gone over evolution.

Thanks for spoiling our fun. Can we get back to the Jurassic Park jokes please?

Re:When I get my T-Rex...

[Kelt]

open the door, get on the floor, everybody clone the dinosaur

-Kelt

(must credit the wife for that one)

Re:so who gets to patent T-Rex DNA?

[beej]

Whoever clones one first! I mean, who's gonna argue with a guy who has a friggin T-REX backing him up?

Re:Oh, yeah!

[tommck]

I thought that specifying that the bone was only 10,000 years old was bad, but when you talked about drinking White Zinfandel, your ignorance was confirmed... ;)

Re:Let the cloning begin!

[Surt]

Cmon mods, this is way funnier than the first post, which got +5, while this is idling at +4.

Re:Thank god for Jurassic Park...

[the phantom]

You don't have to be the fastest member of the crowd, just faster than the slowest member.

Re:Thank god for Jurassic Park...

[Mantorp]

Millions of years, everyone knows the earth is at most 6000 years old. It's in a book somewhere.

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:so who gets to patent T-Rex DNA?

[janbjurstrom]

Monsanto [google.com]. They want to take threatening and bullying farmers with patented gene-infected crops to a whole new level.

Re:Let the cloning begin!

[Anonymous Coward]

Out: 1 Rottweiler for security

In: 1 'bait' for attracting new security

Re:Thank god for Jurassic Park...

[shawn(at)fsu]

I'm sorry but if I was standing in front of a T-Rex , but running directly to the sh1tter would be the first on my list of things to do. It would have nothing to do with hiding.

Wait...

[SmokeHalo]

...they broke Marc Bolan apart and found soft tissue inside?

Comment removed

[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

In response I'm joining...

[Nevermore-Spoon]

...the NRA. They have never looked as attractive as they do today...

The obligitory Matrix Quote
"We're gonna need Guns...Lots of Guns"

Re:Fuck

[nacturation]

Anybody got a handy chaos theorist? Anybody? Seriously, I need a chaos theorist, oily hair, glasses, fuzzy math skills, preferably debauched.

Alternatively do any of you know anything about UNIX systems?

No problem. When the T-Rexes start attacking, we can simply get our handy chaos theorist to upload a virus into the mother T-Rex and just pray that the T-Rex is Mac compatible.

Re:Jurassic Park

[Skjellifetti]

And even if they can't find all of the DNA, they'd just have to stir in some frog DNA and let the T-Rex fix itself [slashdot.org].

Re:Fuck

[omicronish]

Alternatively do any of you know anything about UNIX systems?

I watched Jurassic Park in my early teens, and that movie ruined my knowledge of UNIX. For years I thought all UNIX systems had cool graphical UIs like that, and then I tried a real one and was disappointed by these crazy things called "characters". Now I'm a Windows user :(

Re:Thank god for Jurassic Park...

[daeley]

birds are believed to be whats left of dinosours as they evolved to today

It'd be amusing if the T-Rex had the parrot's vocal abilities to mimic human voices.

Of course, the only words they'd be exposed to and thus be able to mimic would be various versions of "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!" and "OH DEAR GOD NORRUUUURRRGGGGLLLE!!!!" and that would just scare other people off.

A sad life, the T-Rex's.

Sigh.

Re:Thank god for Jurassic Park...

[Ubergrendle]

You don't have to be the fastest member of the crowd, just faster than the slowest member.

Which is why I never, ever discourage someone from eating at McDonalds.

Obseity in others is your best defense mechanism. :)

Re:Thank god for Jurassic Park...

[Citizen of Earth]

You don't have to be the fastest member of the crowd, just faster than the slowest member.

I dunno. A T-Rex could probably scoop up and scarf down the slowest McNugget without breaking its stride.

Re:Dinosaurs are a myth

[aussie_a]

No, no, no. God created the Dinosaurs extinct. Apparently he really liked the idea of dinosaurs, but thought they were too homosexual.

Re:Lessons

[highspl]

"Dinosaurs are relatively rare and we certainly think of Tyrannosaurus rex as being really rare -- although it really isn't -- so people tend not to want to cut holes into the bone or cut them in half," he said.

"But to study the cellular and molecular structures of these things you have to do that." The "good stuff," he said, is on the inside.

If you're going to make a T-Rex, you gotta crack a few bones.

Re:Precedent

[Scrameustache]

Mary Schweitzer is the scientist in both of these stories. Seems she's got a knack for finding fossilized soft tissue.

"Oh darn, I have yet again rented the small helicopter, what a klutz I am. It seems that will have to cut up this precious fossil that is too large to get on board. Woe is me, had we brought the large helicopter, this here fossile would have been taken to museum without having been chopped up... oh, look at that..."

Clever lass.

Now just watch.

[Rei]

Now just watch.

Now just watch. People will clone Tyrannosaurs, and they'll turn out to be cute-colored, friendly carrion eaters.

Re:Let the cloning begin!

[Anonymous Coward]

I bet you'll change your mind when they start the "release" program to reintroduce them back into their natural habitat. Some say it worked too good for the wolfs and black bears, and now it's T-Rex's turn.

Fast forward 3 years; Bee,bee,bee,.. beep,beep. News Flash!!

A Local politician was just quoted:
Well, look at the bright side folks, we have now fixed the "homeless" problem! Gun sales is great for our economy, and everybody else is loosing a lot of weight jogging once or twice every day. Things have never looked better for our great city!

Re:When I get my T-Rex...

[poopdeville]

open the door, get on the floor, everybody clone the dinosaur

You might call it giving credit, but I call it giving blame. Quite unfunny.

Re:Jurassic Park

[DrStrange66]

God creates dinosaur.
God kills dinosaur.
God creates man.
Man kills God.
Man creates dinosaur.
Dinosaur eats man.
Woman inherits the earth.

Re:Let the cloning begin!

[mastahblastah]

Let the cloning b3gin! ...

Re:Uh oh.

[mkmoose]

Analogous to a geek that can turn on a chick

Re:Let the cloning begin!

[shotfeel]

Haven't even started, and we already have a mutation.

Re:Thank god for Jurassic Park...

[gstoddart]

Now we know that when the cloned T-Rex escapes, if you stand perfectly still it won't see you!

Also, do NOT run directly to the shitter.

I would like to point out that for the vast majority of us, if we ever came upon a T-Rex (or many of the other top-predators) the time between spotting the critter and involuntary evacuation is going to be way too short to find a shitter.

I once came upon a stuffed tiger at an outdoor show, and my first reaction was "Oh, crap that's huge, run away". Before I even fully registered what I was seeing my brain was already looking for an exit.

Re:A theory

[claygate]

I likes armadillos!

crunchy on the outide, smooth on the inside.

its from a Dime bar commercial in the mid 90s. Its a UK thing, maybe other parts of europe. But I guess in the states things are king size so...

I Likes t-rex-adillos!

Re:Young earth?

[ReelOddeeo]

The T-rex could of died out last week and it would have absoulutly nothing to do with how old the earth is. T-rex was around 65 million years or so ago. The earth is 4.6 BILLION. The dating of dinosaurs has nothing to do with the how science determined the age of the earth. Dipshit.

First, the parent is not a Troll. Who modded the parent Troll?

But the parent does use some kind of wierd logic.

The logic the parent should use goes something like this...

1. Conclusion: The earth was formed 6000 years ago.
2. Therefore, dinosaurs cannot be older than 6000 years.
3. If you can convince someone that dinosaurs are younger than 6000 years, then you can probably also convince them that the earth is about 6000 years old.
4. Once convinced of the age of the earth, it becomes possible to further convince people that the Biblical story of creation is intended to be taken literally as a step-by-step account of creation.
5. If the dinosaurs were older than the earth, this would shoot down the conclusion that we started with.
6. Therefore, it follows that the young age of dinosaurs dates the earth as being young.
7. Prophet!

I'll tell you how - Jesus is the answer

[gosand]

I'm slightly skeptical. The article talks about soft tissue, but none of the scientists even try to explain how soft tissue could have survived for seventy million years?

Ahh. This just proves that Evolution is BS, and that the earth is not hundreds of millions of years old. It is just a couple of thousand years old. Soft tissue could have lasted that long. In your FACE scientists. The dinosaurs were obviously killed in the crusades because they were dumb animals that didn't believe in Jesus. Duh.

Seems like a good idea, but...

[TiggertheMad]

"It's all Oooh and Ahhh, now, but just wait until the screaming begins later..."

If they clone a T-rex, don't they have to clone Jeff Goldblume, too?

Re:Now just watch.

[frank_adrian314159]

... they'll turn out to be cute-colored, friendly carrion eaters.

Like this [pbskids.org]?

Re:Thank god for Jurassic Park...

[Sialagogue]

Obseity in others is your best defense mechanism. :)

Certainly from predation, but speaking for fat people at McDonald's everywhere, I'd like to say that we're betting that the global food supply will run out before a T-Rex comes to life and chases us down.

We think that a better defense mechanism is taking two weeks longer to starve to death so we can eat you scrawny arrogant bastards as you drop like flies.

I don't care how thin you are, we'll still get a whole bunch of quarter pounders out of you...

Re:Thank god for Jurassic Park...

[gstoddart]

The two things you can say without much doubt about all of your ancestors is that they had good survival reflexes and enjoyed f-, ahem, reproduction.

Nah, I'm a WASP. That means that my ancestors grudgingly reproduced and thought of England. =)

Re:When I get my T-Rex...

[Anonymous Coward]

Now all we need to do is break all the other dynosaur bones we can get to and see what's inside. So I say, now is that perfect excuse you've been waiting for to get out outside and visit a museum for once! Why wait, let's do that now! Who's with me? (picks up a large bat) :)

Re:Now just watch.

[Anonymous Coward]

So... You're saying the T-rex died out because it was gay? You may have just struck upon the insight necessary to appease both the scientists and the creationists.

Re:Let the cloning begin!

[malchus6]

Wow, now we dont need to worry about a draft anymore. We can clone an army of t-rexes and mount remote controlled rocket launchers on them!! ...runs to patent office....

Re:so who gets to patent T-Rex DNA?

[bobgoatcheese]

Jesus man, don't give CNN any ideas or for the next six months we'll be inundated with reports of terrorists plotting to attack New York with a T-Rex built from black market DNA.

Although, the military applications of a T-Rex would be great. If only we could figure out how to mount this friggin' laser beam...

Re:Now just watch.

[Anonymous Coward]

Did you ever wonder why some of the kids on Barney would mysteriously disappear, replaced with other kids? Well think about it.
Barney's no carrion eater.

Re:When I get my T-Rex...

[Cliffy03]

I wish Dodge had actually made the T-Rex. A 6x6 off road gas guzzler....sweeeeeet!

Re:Seems like a good idea, but...

[NoMoreNicksLeft]

No, but they're still welcome to feed the original to the T-rex.

Re:Let the cloning begin!

[pizzaman100]

Mr. T-Rex, I was always on your side, sir.

Does he have a mohawk? I pity the fool that messes with Mr. T-Rex.

Better look for a handcrafters

[Cappy Red]

"So, I'm not expecting to ride on a tethered T-rex at the state fair anytime soon."

Well, just in case they do get it working, and you want to give the T-rex a treat afterward, remember to keep your palms flat.

Re:Now just watch.

[digismack]

Great. Now you've gone and done it.

That Barney page on PBS' site is now going to get tons of hits from Slashdot, and the execs are going to start thinking geeks love the big purple dinosaur.

Re:I for one....

[Chillum]

I suspect they taste more like pig. Jurassic Pork, anyone?

Re:Let the cloning begin!

[jellomizer]

Before you clone dinosaur you should make sure of the following.

Use OpenBSD Yea it is Unix but it very secure. And runs on smaller computers which can be put on multiple power supplies and power sources, and UPSed. Except for running a hole park off of a single Cray, where once the Cray goes down all hell breaks loose.

If you are going to use electrical cars. Make sure they have enough battery to drive across the island on one charge.

Have 2 fences. running parallel to each other. In the middle dig a very deep hole big enough to prevent any animal to climb out or jump over.

Use the round door knobs with a punch key security. So even if they figured out the code which is unlikely they will need opposable thumbs to open the door.

If Possible use Male Dinosaurs they just dont have the equipment to lay eggs.

Armed Security Guards, who can also double as tour guides.

Safety points filled with tranquilizer darts and a gun.

Steel Reinforced Bathrooms.

All electrical fences have a generator backup.

Helicopter tours.

If they spit acid remove the glands before making them in front of the public.

Clones...

[ikkonoishi]

1. Clone dinosaurs
2. Bury dinosaurs
3. Wait a few million years
4. Oil Profits!

Oh, be nice

[Anonymous Coward]

C'mon, she's a nerd girl, she automatically gets a bonus for that. She's got nice legs. And archaeological digs tend to be out in the middle of nowhere and last for months and months with no other stimulation...what would you think then? Darn right.

Panic over!

[EmbeddedJanitor]

Lab analysis reveals that that the soft tissue was a Chicken McNugget dropped by a site worker eating his lunch.

Re:Let the cloning begin!

[speederaser]

It's not a mutation, it's intelligent design.

Re:Panic over!

[Silentnite]

That would be hillarious. If, that is, we didnt know that McNuggets is just grade D dog meat ground up. I mean really. They should at least use leprechauns if they are going to call them McNuggets. Or would that end up being a pile left by leprechauns in the John. Hmm.

TO THE LAB!

Re:Don't mean to be a wet blanket but...

[sd_diamond]

I can't. I don't speak Japanese.

in what could be related news...

[rubycodez]

...Bubbah T. Hatfield, who assisted in loading the large bones into the helicopter, said "shore wuz a bitch gittin that big 'un on the bird. Had tah bust it in half, and I cut muhyself and bled like a stuck pig all over it. Hope duh head bitch ain't pissed or nothin' "