Bizarre Deep Sea Fish Dredged Up By Tsunami 339
spankfish writes "The following page features numerous great pictures of bizarre and creepy deep-sea creatures which have been dredged up by the recent tsunami and presented by normal divers. Fascinating stuff! The page is in Russian, but it's all about the pictures." Update: 01/15 18:02 GMT by J : As those of you who read the comments have already realized, this is an urban legend.
I recognize some of them... (Score:3, Funny)
Well... (Score:5, Funny)
Crab... (Score:5, Funny)
I hereby name it the Crabtacular spikeouchamus, or "Spiky Ubercrab"!
I never had a favorite animal before, but now I do. It's red, hard, and just plain intimidating. Almost like a Sauron of the seas. Sweeeeeeet!
Re:Oops... (Score:5, Funny)
Hahaha... (Score:5, Funny)
what the fuck (Score:5, Funny)
Re:obligatory. (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Hahaha... (Score:5, Funny)
Thanks, Captain Bringdown (Score:5, Funny)
Description of page (Score:5, Funny)
So I've decided to describe the oddities for the slashdotters with active imaginations! Plus I need to work off some caffiene before I hit the sack.
(1) A pallid creature of diminutive size which is characterized by a body shaped like the blade of a pocket knife. The edges of the body form a fin which bears remarkable similarity to a feather. The GI tract is visible as a dark tunnel connecting the throat area and leading halfway down its body to where what appears to be a tiny foot is attached! The foot may actually be an anus, but I'm no biologist and I don't read cyrillic.
(2) This photo shows two beasties in a half meter wide container. The first is a dark, eel-looking fellow with a beaty eye that is glazed over in a sort of post-mortem or thickly armored haze. It is shaped like a bottle rocket -- the back is long , cylindrical, and thin and it has a cylindrical gut of larger diameter attached to the back. His mouth is open a little but no teeth show.
The other fellow is a white squid which has red highlights on its body. The red is probably a result of its blood and viscera being partially drained into its container, but it is difficult to tell from the picture. It looks like a giant, man eating squid from the movies, except it is not giant.
(3) This picture shows a fish held in the hands of a proud seaman. The fish is probably 20 pounds heavy. It is dark like a bottom feeder and has a menacing look about it. The rear half of the animal has a fin on top that looks like an inch tall mohawk. An inch or two without a mohawk separates the rear fin from a threatening dorsal fin. The front of the dorsal fin is shaped like the fang of a snake. It is curved back from vertical, thin, and looks like it could inject a deadly poison (probably doesn't though). He has a large eye which glows an eerie yellow color, probably due to the camera's flash. The mouth is not very clear. To add to this fish's badass appearence, it looks like it has won several knife fights and thick scars crease its body.
(4) This one is ugly. It is in the same type of container as described in picture (2). I imagine that it was once just a very fat fish made of pancake mix, and one day it was dropped on the skillet that is the ocean floor. It is smooshed vertically and resembles "blinky" from the classic Simpson's episode. However, instead of the warm yellow tint of our favorite family, this fish has a mixture of red, brown, and white tints on its body and its face is white like a brie cheese. Come to think of it, its face looks like Marlon Brando. Creepy indeed.
(5) This critter is a sight to behold! It looks like an criptocletus dinosaur on a smaller scale. It has hand and feet fins that look oars. But the best thing about this animal is that it has a beak. It reminds me of an elongated duckbill platypus' beak, except that it is made of flesh instead of a hardened material. Its eye is black and big. I have relatives who eat fish eyes and I'm sure that it would be a wonderful treat for them.
OK, thats all I can handle for now. I hope this helps paint the picture.
Re:slashdotted (Score:5, Funny)
A Message to the Hoax: (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Crab... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Crab... (Score:5, Funny)
>
>My girlfriend says the same thing about my
>manhood.
Yes, but fortunately they have a cream for that now.
Hmm (Score:5, Funny)
Fun with taking things out of context.... (Score:3, Funny)
Female anglers grow to be more than a yard long and can produce millions of eggs in a single spawning. The males, which live alone until maturity, reach a length of only 4 to 6 inches.
And curse of all curses, all the females carry around flashlights, so they can't hide it.
Released in the deep, anglerfish eggs float to the surface, where the young fish, or fry, feed on plankton.
Mmmm...fish fry.
At first, male deep sea anglers are free swimming, with large eyes, no rod or lure, and no digestive tube. Their skin is smooth. When a female and male meet, the male grips her skin with his teeth as usual.
Makes you wonder who wrote this...
Meanwhile, the male grows in size and he grows a large testes. The rest of his internal organs disappear. He is now a part of the female deep sea angler!
Great, just great. He finally gets a pair, and she takes them away!
Re:Oops... (Score:3, Funny)
famous last words (Score:2, Funny)
"but it's all about the pictures"
Re:Oops (Score:2, Funny)
Groovy! SlashHax0rs are da mazter! However they could at least have put the dreaded goatfish on that page instead of their lame message!
Fake, but accurate (Score:5, Funny)
A future Snopes article (Score:5, Funny)
Claim: Slashdot articles are written by an infinite number of monkeys.
Status: False
Example: This [slashdot.org] article, and many, many, many others.
Origins: It seems that many people consider that a popular source of information must, by its very nature, be reliable. "With enough eyes, all bugs are shallow" is a common argument in support of this theory. But as can be seen with a cursory glance at the Slashdot "news" site, it just ain't so.
This dichotomy has led many people to assume that the so-called "editors" of Slashdot are nothing more than an infinite number of monkeys, but a little logic will demonstrate why this is also unlikely:
- An infinite number of monkeys can be expected to produce the works of Shakespeare. Shakespeare had talent, integrity and an instinctive grasp of narrative and logic. Whoever is writing Slashdot articles shows none of these skills. Advantage: Monkeys.
- Despite all this, Shakespeare's spelling was appalling. He even misspelled his own name! While the spelling abilities of Slashdot editors are certainly not up to the standard one would expect for one's household pets or pond algae, they're not as bad as ol' Will. Advantage: Slashdot.
However, the telling point is this: Monkeys are not aquatic. Thus, they have no interest in penguins. Slashdot editors, on the other hand, can think of little else. It seems far more likely that the Slashdot editors are an infinite number of penguins; the penguin's flippers are slightly more suited to keyboards than the monkeys hands which, despite having agile fingers, lack the opposable thumb essential to the operation of the space bar.It's certainly easy to see how this urban legend got started, but as usual, a little logic goes a long way.
Barbara "anyway monkeys are way too bright" Spoofelson
Hmmmm (Score:2, Funny)
All your bass... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Oops... (Score:3, Funny)
Fox News?