New Hominid Species Unearthed in Indonesia

Radical Rad writes "ABC News is reporting that anthropologists have found the skeletal remains of seven hobbit sized hominids. The population may have been wiped out by a volcanic activity 12000 years ago or according to local legend may have lived up until the 1500's living on in caves and eating food the villagers would leave out for them. Also found were bones of giant lizards and miniature elephants. CBS also has the story." National Geographic and the BBC have good stories.

evolutionary pressure

[immerrath]

clearly there was evolutionary pressure to maintain the same size for all species on the island: giant lizards, pygmy elephants, and small humans.

Hobbit Sized

[93,000]

I dig how they say "Hobbit sized" to capitailize on LOTR's popularity. In '83 they would have said "Ewok sized".

The questions on everybody's mind:

[multipartmixed]

1. Is there sufficient DNA material at any of the dig sites to allow us to clone a hobbit?

2. Would they make good slaves?

This is so stupid

[lamp77]

everyone knows the world was created 6000 years ago.

jeez.

Spoiler Warning

[Shky]

Guess Frodo, Bilbo and the remaining elves made a wrong turn on the way to the Grey Havens.

Also Found

[erotic_pie]

Was a strange ring around it's neck, the scientist that found it was last quoted as saying "My Precious" over and over again

Hobbit-sized and volcano eh?

[AndroidCat]

Their Frodo should never have tossed the ring into Mount Doom until they were further away.

WOW!!

[WilliamGeorge]

Who knew the Shire was in Indonesia!?!? I thought it was in Brittain :)

Hobbit sized?

[cliffordski]

How can anything be hobbit sized? A hobbit is a fictional creature; it has never existed. Now a troll...

Re:New species explaination

[eln]

Well see, they were originally only out on a three-hour tour, so when their ship wrecked, they had no way of getting back because they hadn't packed the emergency supplies you would normally expect them to have.

Sure, they had one guy who could make a lot of crap out of coconuts, and they always had some celebrity guests drop in for some wacky hijinks, but they never could quite get off that island. Tragic story, really.

Re:New species explaination

[dr_dank]

Maybe these tiny people have some kind of sickness (or just look tiny), and were therefore exiled from the main(is)land?

Maybe they just represent the Lollypop Guild.

No no no,

[Anonymous Coward]

they just found some movie set litter from Peter Jackson and crew.

Nerds discussing hobbits?

[Anonymous Coward]

I think I know where this discussion is going.

In related news...

[Artie_Effim]

GW Bush has declared a state of EMERGENCY over the finding of WMD in the 12,000 year old ash layer. While he is not sure of the threat level these 'hobbits' present, he has ordered pre-emptive military action to protect America.

Re:The questions on everybody's mind:

[Average_Joe_Sixpack]

2. Would they make good slaves?

We IT folk have enough competition as it is!

Re:The questions on everybody's mind:

[EnronHaliburton2004]

Slaves? SLAVES?

That's tender young juicy Hobbit meat you are talking about.

Slave, feh. I've been stuck in this cave for three lousy years with nothing but maggoty meat to eat and you want Slaves?

Hmm...

[Blue-Footed Boobie]

Those nasty hominidses. We hates them!

In a related find

[RsG]

Among the midget hominid remains in Indonesia, a gold ring was also discovered.

"Antropologists are perplexed as to how a ring found it's way into the hands of a species lacking basic metallurgy or fire. One scientist was quoted as saying 'The precious, er I mean artifact, is a remarkable lovely find. So bright, so beautiful...' He was later heard to remark 'mine, mine, get away!! Filthy little grad students!!'"

Peter Jackson was not available for comment.

Re:New species explaination

[Anonymous Coward]

Actually the real explanation, as we all know, is that the devil put those fossils there to lead us astray from the path of righteousness. Don't spout atheist evolution nonsense on here please.

Re:Hobbit Sized

[Kenshin]

Well, I guess a few years ago that woulda been "Mini-Me sized".

What about the '90s?

Re:The questions on everybody's mind:

[Anonymous Coward]

Shireassic Park?

Seven short guys

[raider_red]

Is Snow White's house anywhere nearby?

hmmmm

[SoupGuru]

Evolutionary Tree Gets Bushier

Well, I suppose.... since they didn't have brazilian waxes back then...

Remake anyone?

[general_re]

"Midget Quest For Fire"? Starring Gary Coleman, Emmanuel Lewis, and that guy from "Willow".

Okay, maybe I'm all alone on this...

In Other News...

[eskwayrd]

Snow White brought in for questioning related to 7 suspicious deaths. Details at 11.

The reason they died out.

[wcrowe]

Someone was always after their Lucky Charms.

They're not new, they're ...

[Anonymous Coward]

neocons.

it's too bad they all died...

[Savet Hegar]

I've been wanting a 3ft tall hobbit wife with limited brain capacity...

Scientifically speaking...

[ilikedonkeykong]

I think it looks more like evidence of Homo OompaLoompus

Re:New species explaination

[Mignon]

... there are still Europeans in Europe.

Other than that, it's a lovely place to visit.

New Hominid species of diminutive size found...

[gatekeep]

... in Japan!

Wrong Movie...

[kzinti]

Oompa loompa doompety doo
I've got a perfect puzzle for you
Oompa loompa doompety dee
If you are wise you'll listen to me ...

Oompa loompa doompety da
If you're not greedy, you will go far
You will live in happiness too
Like the Oompa Loompa Doompety do
Doompety do

They're still alive working in a Chocolate Factory

[Anonymous Coward]

These were the ancestors of Willy Wonka's Oompa-Loompas, not Hobbits. And those other things weren't pygmy elephants, but Whangdoodles, beasts that fed on Oompa-Loompas (often preferring to eat 10 for breakfast).

Re:New species explaination

[Anonymous Coward]

I told ya trolls were real!

(How far away is this from Christmas Island [goat.cx]?)

Re:Hobbit Sized

[TobiasSodergren]

in the early 90's Milli Vanilli got a Grammy Award. Then the IT industry died. Yep, I think I got it all covered.

Oh my god

[RealErmine]

"The idea of how they got there is still very much in the air."

They could FLY!?

Re:Hobbit sized?

[iamlucky13]

Ok, whoever modded that comment "Troll" has a absolutely sadistic but delightfully clever sense of humor!

These are clearly not hobbits

[deft]

7 of them in caves? Hmm, perhaps working?

try sleepy, bashful, dopey, sneezy...

Keep digging, you'll pull up a hot brunette.

Re:WOW!!

[Mr. Bad Example]

> Who knew the Shire was in Indonesia!?!?

Oh my God...Tolkien outsources too?

Re:small brains

[Chris Mattern]

> I have seen functioning humans with heads the size of a grapefruit.

Yes, yes, we've all seen managers too.

Chris Mattern

Re:small brains

[The Bungi]

The possibilities for a bad joke about these humans

• posting to Slashdot
• being republican/democrat
• living in SOVIET RUSSIA
• posing as underpant gnomes
• originating from a remote region in France
• releasing "Banging Smurfette, Part II"
• etc

...are so overwhelming that my head just shriveled down to the size of a grapefruit.

*Ahem*

[zephc]

"Grunka Lunka Dunkity Doo, we've got a friendly warning for you. Grunka Lunka Dunkity Dasis, the secret of Slurm's on a need-to-know basis."

"Grunka Lunka Dunkity Dingredient, you should not ask about the secret ingredient."

Wha?

[HarveyBirdman]

may have lived up until the 1500's living on in caves and eating food the villagers would leave out for them.

So they were pets, huh?

Re:The questions on everybody's mind:

[TheWickedKingJeremy]

1. Is there sufficient DNA material at any of the dig sites to allow us to clone a hobbit?

I don't know, but Michael Jackson wants to find out.

Re:evolutionary pressure

[Ford Prefect]

In this Washington Post Writeup", they clearly refer to the "island rule: animals smaller than rabbits get larger; animals larger than rabbits get smaller."

What about rabbits? What size do they become?

Re:Wrong Movie...

[stratjakt]

Chumba Womba, Gobaldie Goo
Life isnt fair its sad but its true
Chumba Womba, Gobaldie Gee
When your poor legs are stiff as a tree

What do you do when your stuck in a chair?
Finding it hard to go up and down stairs?
What do you think of the one you call god?
Isn't his absence slightly odd?

Maybe he's forgotten you.

Chumba Womba, Gobaldie Gorse
Count yourself lucky your not a horse
They would turn you into dog food
Or to Chumba Womba
Gobaldie
Glue

Gobaldie Goo

Re:Frodo

[ozbird]

Of course they're dwarves - there were seven of them.

Re:evolutionary pressure

[lawpoop]

Rabbit sized.

Re:Not to state the obvious or anything...

[bullitB]

Uh, duh, the Unix epoch is January 1, 1970. Any universe before that would have required negative time(), which is clearly impossible.

Re:New species explaination

[Anonymous Coward]

maybe they look small cos they are so far away

Obligatory post, if they still exist somewhere...

[hakkikt]

I, for one, welcome our Komodo-dragon-eater pygmy overlords

Re:This is so stupid

[tompaulco]

Yes. And there are also modern humans who still think that humans descended from apes.

Re:New species explaination

[Anonymous Coward]

I've done that in WarCraft II several times. No more damn trees to make a transport.

How will this affect the election?

[Jelloman]

So the inevitable question for late October of (year mod 4) == 0, does this help Bush or Kerry? Which reaction is more likely:

• "Hmmm, This hobbit things shatters my belief in assumptions-derived-from-an-English-translation-of -Genesis-as-the-foundation-of-all-truth (which of course is a very scientific belief, not at all in conflict with things I perceive in the world like dinosaur skeletons)! Therefore I guess stem cell research and abortions are OK, so I'll vote for Kerry now."
• "See, SCIENCE WILL DESTROY US ALL!! ARMAGEDDON IS NIGH!!! REPEAL THE 20TH CENTURY!! VOTE BUSH!!!"
• "Ah now I understand, George Bush is simply the last Homo floresiensis on the planet, evolved into slightly taller form. My liberal heart loves the underdog, so I'll vote for Bush, since he's a minority now."

See, Bush wins.

Re:The questions on everybody's mind:

[AndroidCat]

Job thief Baggins! We hates him forever!

Not 7 hobbits.. 7 Dwarf-Lords!

[Anonymous Coward]

"Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky,
Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their halls of stone,
Nine for Mortal Men doomed to die,
One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne
In the Land of Mordor where the Shadows lie,
One Ring to rule them all, One Ring to find them,
One Ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them
In the land of Mordor where the Shadows lie."

Looks like they escaped Sauron but wound up in Indonesia. :-P

Re:evolutionary pressure

[vsprintf]

What about rabbits? What size do they become?

The rabbits don't change size. They become carnivorous and develop killer instincts which cause them to attack knights of the Round Table and audition for parts in Monty Python movies.

Re:New species explaination

[Anonymous Coward]

May be the left the island, got to a bigger island, killed everyone that was there, then they slaved people from other even bigger islands and over the years became paranoid that all neighbouring islands wanted to destroy their way of life which they considered superior to all others, so they voted for the village idiot and invaded an island as far far away as they could find , this island happens to have lots coconut oil but this was just a coincidence.

May be after all this some of them realised what the had become and came back to their little island, to enjoy their little lifes and not bother anyone else...and there we found them.

Move aside, truth, you don't have enough years!

[Zareste]

The population may have been wiped out by a volcanic activity 12000 years ago or according to local legend may have lived up until the 1500's

Heh, so a random anthropologist walks up to a village..

"Look! Small people! I think they were wiped out a bazillion trillion years ago by lava. It was very climactic with lots of big explosions and a story that will make me very famous in America."
Villager: "Actually it happened in the 1500's when.."
"12000 whole years ago. Imagine that!"
"The people died because--"
"Hey! That was the NYT! They're posting the headline 'Genius Finds Species From Twelve Trillion Years ago' tomorrow! I guess they're off by a few zeroes but hey, we have some wiggle space."
"Our elders knew about a people who--"
"Actually let's just change it to twelve trillion. That's a fun number, don't you think? I love it! It's... Oh, right. What were you saying, Lowly Misinformed Local Person?"
"We have records. They say--"
"Hey, I just struck a deal to sell my new book 'Thirty-quadrillian Year Old Species Found in Indonesia'! I'm rich! I am a flowing river of cash! I'm a festering volcano of money! I am--"
"Are you even--"
"Hey! Get the Hell outta my way, kid, I'm off to show the United States that they were founded by rock formations millions of years ago, and not these stupid 'founding fathers' their mythological legendary myths say. Brady, finish off the interview with this guy."

why the hell are they looking in Indonesia?

[Anonymous Coward]

They should come check out my local DMV

Re:Bayan Kara-Ula - Dropa and the Han

[Anonymous Coward]

I always trust things in the "UFOParanormalStudies" folder of MSN groups.