Brain Controlled Computing a Reality 299

Posted by samzenpus on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @04:34PM from the really-hands-free dept.

pchernyakov writes "Cyberkinetics Neurotechnology Systems told attendees at the American Academy of Physical Medicine and Rehabilitation annual conference that a 25-year-old quadriplegic with wires run from 100 tiny sensors implanted in his brain and out to a computer can use his thoughts to control a computer well enough to operate a TV, open e-mail and play Pong with 70% accuracy."

Brain Controlled Computing a Reality

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What does Captain Pike think? (Score:5, Funny)

by DeezyChee ( 587489 ) writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @04:36PM (#10517800) Homepage Journal

*blink* *blink*

Hmm... (Score:4, Funny)

by ZeroPost ( 792045 ) writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @04:36PM (#10517808) Homepage

Sounds like it's time to break out the tinfoil hat...

I, for one (Score:3, Funny)

by unassimilatible ( 225662 ) writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @04:37PM (#10517820) Journal

welcome our new wired quadriplegic overlords.

Porn (Score:5, Funny)

by athakur999 ( 44340 ) writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @04:37PM (#10517825) Journal

So this means I can surf with NO hands on the keyboard? Think of the possibilities.

Really? (Score:4, Funny)

by SansTinfoilHat ( 759207 ) writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @04:38PM (#10517835)

and play Pong with 70% accuracy

Damn, I can't even play Pong with 70% accuracy.

Now just hook it up to some robotics and... (Score:5, Funny)

by retro128 ( 318602 ) writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @04:38PM (#10517844)

Can this [pip.com.au] be much farther behind?

Yeah but (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @04:40PM (#10517853)

How well does he do with Halo? I don't need any more competition.

yikes! (Score:5, Funny)

by mrpuffypants ( 444598 ) * writes: <mrpuffypants@gmail.3.14159com minus pi> on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @04:47PM (#10517928)

open e-mail

His first email? INCREASE THE SIZE OF YOUR PENIS! PLEASURE WOMEN!

sigh. kinda makes you wish that email had never even come around...

(Jordan, if you see this...GET BACK TO WORK! =]

Re:Porn (Score:5, Funny)

by retro128 ( 318602 ) writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @04:50PM (#10517969)

That's the whole problem isn't it? Now I don't know if all the porn popups I'm getting are being caused by my new neural interface or spyware.

Re:Fiction to reality.. (Score:5, Funny)

by NetNifty ( 796376 ) writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @04:50PM (#10517970) Homepage

If he is really a "terminal man", we can just telnet to him if something goes wrong.

Re:What does Captain Pike think? (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @04:50PM (#10517975)

Uh, whatever dude. Meet me at midnight in the parking lot behind the stadium. Bring a screwdriver, pickax, some cat5, a coupla ICs and $10000 cash. I'll give you your "wetware implant".

And now... (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @04:57PM (#10518046)

Let the great Pong stadiums be built for the amusment of the masses!

70% Pong Accuracy (Score:5, Funny)

by aardwolf64 ( 160070 ) writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @04:59PM (#10518073) Homepage

can use his thoughts to control a computer well enough to operate a TV, open e-mail and play Pong with 70% accuracy

I can do the first two easily enough, but he's got me beat on the 70% Pong rate...

Imagine.... (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @04:59PM (#10518075)

A beowolf cluster of human brains.

yeah (Score:3, Funny)

by Anubis350 ( 772791 ) writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @05:02PM (#10518102)

now I can drink coffee, get my work done, and masturbate while browsing for porn

ahhhhh, watching the karma burn

Re:yikes! (Score:3, Funny)

by josh3736 ( 745265 ) writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @05:06PM (#10518134) Homepage

(Jordan, if you see this...GET BACK TO WORK! =]

Actually, I just installed BO2K on your machine.
Please stop wasting company time on Solitaire and Slashdot, then I'll get back to work.
--Jordan.

Re:Porn (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @05:10PM (#10518169)

Yeah, you can finger your ass while you masturbate. :)

Re:Hmm... (Score:5, Funny)

by KitFox ( 712780 ) writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @05:11PM (#10518178)

Dear ZeroPost,
While we appreciate your interest in tinfoil hats to combat our new technology, we advise you not to try it. As indicated, this is hard-wired directly into your brain. Tinfoil hats have proven to be a problem for our mind control rays, since they are wireless, however the tinfoil has proven to be no match for a Makita to the frontal lobe.
In closing, we recommend that you drop these silly ideas that tin or even aluminum foil will be any match for our hard-wired technology. Thank you.
Your Future Thought Control Overlords

Re:Fiction to reality.. (Score:5, Funny)

by s4m7 ( 519684 ) writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @05:20PM (#10518258) Homepage

we can just telnet to him if something goes wrong.

root@terminalman# killall -s SIGKILL braind

Re:But how many degrees of freedom? (Score:4, Funny)

by sploo22 ( 748838 ) writes: <dwahler.gmail@com> on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @05:23PM (#10518289)

Do we need any more than 3 degrees of freedom? How about mouse X, mouse Y, and clicking? It works fine for Mac users.

Re:Hmm... (Score:1, Funny)

by bluekanoodle ( 672900 ) writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @05:28PM (#10518342)

I for one welcome our future thought control overlords.

Re:How about.... (Score:5, Funny)

by shaka999 ( 335100 ) writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @05:33PM (#10518383)

I think we all know the dangers of hooking up robotic octopus arms without proper failsafes in place.

Re:Computer Potatoes (Score:1, Funny)

by unixbugs ( 654234 ) writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @05:35PM (#10518414)

Just imagine someone hard wired to the Net 24/7

its easy, theyre called "moderators" around these parts.

Pong! (Score:4, Funny)

by MavEtJu ( 241979 ) writes: <slashdot@m[ ]tju.org ['ave' in gap]> on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @05:48PM (#10518547) Homepage

play Pong with 70% accuracy.

Call me when he can play Doom with 99% accuracy and I will volunteer!

Everything was going great until... (Score:4, Funny)

by Kakurenbo Shogun ( 64436 ) writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @06:05PM (#10518676) Homepage

He was typing along happy as a clam, with 100% accuracy for 21 characters, and then the 30% error rate popped up and out came "rm -Rf /". Oh well, no more pong.

Obligatory Gibson quote (Score:3, Funny)

by theolein ( 316044 ) writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @06:13PM (#10518743) Journal

When can the rest of us adjust the trodes and jack in?

Re:What does Captain Pike think? (Score:5, Funny)

by Profane MuthaFucka ( 574406 ) writes: <busheatskok@gmail.com> on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @06:41PM (#10518924) Homepage Journal

No, we need to have larger neurons, and fewer of them. I bet a leech could work this thing really well.

Finally... (Score:5, Funny)

by Proptwistr ( 821937 ) writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @07:12PM (#10519174)

As a tech support specialist, it's kinda nice to see somebody actually using their brain to operate a computer.

Because it needed to be said... (Score:2, Funny)

by Firefly1 ( 251590 ) writes: on Wednesday October 13, 2004 @11:20PM (#10520741) Homepage

"Remember, you must think in Russian."

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Brain Controlled Computing a Reality 299

Brain Controlled Computing a Reality More Login

Brain Controlled Computing a Reality

What does Captain Pike think? (Score:5, Funny)

Hmm... (Score:4, Funny)

I, for one (Score:3, Funny)

Porn (Score:5, Funny)

Really? (Score:4, Funny)

Now just hook it up to some robotics and... (Score:5, Funny)

Yeah but (Score:1, Funny)

yikes! (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Porn (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Fiction to reality.. (Score:5, Funny)

Re:What does Captain Pike think? (Score:1, Funny)

And now... (Score:1, Funny)

70% Pong Accuracy (Score:5, Funny)

Imagine.... (Score:1, Funny)

yeah (Score:3, Funny)

Re:yikes! (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Porn (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Hmm... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Fiction to reality.. (Score:5, Funny)

Re:But how many degrees of freedom? (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Hmm... (Score:1, Funny)

Re:How about.... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:Computer Potatoes (Score:1, Funny)

Pong! (Score:4, Funny)

Everything was going great until... (Score:4, Funny)

Obligatory Gibson quote (Score:3, Funny)

Re:What does Captain Pike think? (Score:5, Funny)

Finally... (Score:5, Funny)

Because it needed to be said... (Score:2, Funny)

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