Navy ELF to Be Scrapped

engywook writes "National Public Radio and The Daily Press of Ashland, Wisconsin (among others, I'm sure) are reporting that the US Navy plans to scrap the Extremely Low Frequency (ELF) system for communication with its fleet of nuclear submarines, both in Wisconsin and Michigan. The report states that the Navy no longer feels that ELF is necessary, and that they will now rely on 12 VLF systems. The system has been in operation since October 1989. The system has been protested nearly the whole time, both as a part of a Weapon of Mass Destruction and as a potential health hazard."

WMD???

[The Snowman]

If radio antennas are considered weapons of mass destruction, I think we are all in trouble.

Re:Superceded

[TeraCo]

At last years naval exercises, Australia got a lot of flak from the US for beating them with our subs :) [Aussie aussie aussie!]

throw away your tinfoil hats

[neurofluoro]

Yeah, finally time to throw away our tinfoil hats!

Re:WMD???

[Mr. Flibble]

If radio antennas are considered weapons of mass destruction, I think we are all in trouble.

Well, it is known that Saddam did in fact, have radio antennas in Iraq, and I believe that there are still some there now.

Re:throw away your tinfoil hats

[krymsin01]

that's what they want you to do...

Re:health hazard indeed

[penguinstorm]

anybody see that X-Files episode where Mulder & Scully were rooting around in the forest and a bunch of not-quite human creatures were killing people in the forest?

I doubt it was based on scientific fact, but walking in the forest might be bad for you.

Think about your breathing; those trees are stealing from your lungs.

Navy elf's response:

[phandel]

The Navy Elf's office responded with this vitriolic press release:

Overcoming adversity is nothing new to Mr. Elf - he had to fight to get to the top at the North Pole, and he'll have to fight here to stay afloat at the Navy. Our team actually sees this as a golden opportunity to expose the corruption, pressure, and discrimination all the elves face daily ...

As my mother used to say...

[gowen]

.. as long as you've got your ELF, that's the main thing. /*rim shot*

In the Navy...

[kgbspy]

"Gaylord and I worked since 1972 together to try and end financing first for Project Sanguine and then ELF. The Navy would always whip us."

I see that nothing's changed in the Navy, then...

I realized upon reading this...

[midnightcandidate]

...that Legolas was the first sign that ELFs were hazardous to our health. Anything that pale CAN'T be healthy.

Re:Superceded

[koshimetsu]

To clarify: parent says ELF is a threat to marine mammals, not VLF.

Lotsa results on Google [google.com] about this topic.

Damn perverted elves.

Re:Superceded

[waimate]

They bagged two subs as well as a surface ship.

A.out?

[RTMFD]

Does this mean that the Navy will go back to creating a.out binaries and libraries? I thought they only ran Window$ on their ships....

Re:And breathing is specifically related... how?

[Anonymous Coward]

lol, YHBT! HAND!

That's right, think about your breathing. "Why?" you ask. Well, it's quite simple.

Your brain usually takes care of breathing for you, but whenever you remember this, you must manually breath. If you don't, you will die.

These four words can be thrown randomly into article texts, into sigs, into anything, and once seen, will force the victim to take care of his breathing manually.

Wait a minute!

[raehl]

for communication with its fleet of nuclear submarines, both in Wisconsin and Michigan

Yet more evidence that we must vote Kerry - Bush has our nuclear subs stationed in the Midwest.

In other news...

[Skadet]

In other news, Santa has eleminated all ELF positions from his North Pole outpost: "Improvements in toy-making technology and the changing requirements of Today's Santa made the ELF system no longer necessary," said the news release. A North Pole spokesman said the decision to shut down ELFs came out of an assessment concluding that improvements in technology made ELFs unnecessary.

This is an obvious improvement...

[raehl]

Everyone knows Dwarves have better technical aptitude, are more comfortable in confined spaces, and have higher strength and constitution to boot.

No more nuking the whales...

[Goalie_Ca]

The Navy is no longer interrested in nuking the whales, they feel that confusing the hell out of them provides for hours of humour. In canada we feel different. Our submarines let the water in so we can speak to them directly :D Much more natural don't you think?

Re:Wait a minute!

[BWJones]

Yet more evidence that we must vote Kerry - Bush has our nuclear subs stationed in the Midwest

Nah moderators. This is NOT insightful. Rather it is Funny. This is the same mistake people are always making when George W Bush comes up. :-)

for a minute there i was ..

[2mcm]

worried .. i thought they were talking about the linux exectable format.
no, no need no worry this is about an unimportant thing in a for away place called real world.

RFC: TCP/IP over ELF

[MillionthMonkey]

Come on nerds, someone write this up.

Finally!

[weiyuent]

Mulder can stop heading west.

Re:Superceded

[mikeophile]

The Earth's natural resonance is about 7.83 Hz, also known as the Schumann resonance.

There is evidence that this field is used by living cells as a timing frequency of sorts.

The powerful ELF and VLF transmissions are thought to "overdrive" cells, possibly leading to increased cancers.

I am also aware of anecdotal evidence of ELF waves "beaming messages" into the head of an individual.

However, since that person was wearing his underwear as a dew-rag, I am a bit sceptical on that one.

Re:This is an obvious improvement...

[bsartist]

Yeah, but they swim like rocks and have horrible stealth.

Well I'm going to blame

[The_Mr_Flibble]

The Pixies

Re:Superceded

[nmosfet]

ELF, which is frequencies between 30Hz to 300Hz, can affect life since it disrupts electrical signals in the body. This is especially bad for cyclical signals, like that of the heart. Since I'm not a marine biologist, I can't really tell you exactly which frequencies are dangerous. I do know you can actually kill humans fairly quickly if you direct a sufficiently powerful ELF signal at the victim at a frequency close to that of his/her pulse (usually around 60Hz).

We have elves in the Navy now?

[Ghostgate]

I did not realize that. Personally, I'm glad to hear the armed forces are becoming more tolerant.

Re:Superceded

[Mr Tall]

If your pulse is at 60Hz, you've got bigger problems than an ELF signal :)

Re:Superceded

[5E-0W2]

If you have a 60Hz pulse, you're either a hummingbird or in desperate need of medical attention.

Re:Superceded

[BlueJay465]

Yes, I remember that. It was later revealed that one of the Captains was actually an AI in a kangaroo suit.

Whoa!

[polyp2000]

For a moment I thought the navy had their own executable and linking format. Must be too early in the morning for me !

Re:Superceded

[sopuli]

........two subs with a "speed" screw or a "quiet" screw?

Two subs with a screwed crew.

Yahoo! We Get the 7Hz Frequency Band Back!

[billstewart]

It's nice when the government stops their greedy reservation of parts of the spectrum and lets the public have it back! (OK, they haven't quite done that yet, but it sounds like they might soon...) Now we can start using the 7Hz band for the Internet!

Re:ELF

[Gil-galad55]

Jebus. With all the links in it that article reads like a Slashdot story!

Re:Superceded - reality check

[newnerdyuser]

Do you really think Australia has 30 ships?

Re:Superceded - reality check

[10Ghz]

That reminds me of the time when some Finnish units went to Norway for joint exercises with Norwegians and Americans. Exercise was about warfare in arctic conditions. Well, as it happened, only the Finns and the Norwegians carried out the combat-training as intented. The American troops just stayed in their tents and tried to stay alive.

Re:Superceded

[pjt33]

US navel exercises with its allies? I don't think I want to know.

Wait a minute. Do you have incriminating pictures featuring, perhaps, Duyba and Tony?

Re:Protested?

[Zareste]

Nice to see the people supporting this aren't mindless racist nazi-ish flamers.

Re:Wait a minute!

[Mister Transistor]

I was stationed in the Navy in the Midwest, and let me tell you, submarines were an issue! I was at Camp Clusterfuck, the Naval base in Great Lakes, IL, and we had to go on "Submarine Watch" as punishment if we screwed up.

It consisted of getting to stand at attention in the parking lot or outside the Mess Hall with paper binoculars made out of toilet paper tubes and string, and having to reply to any passing officer asking "What the hell are you doing?" with "Sir, I am on Submarine Watch, In case any subs surface in the parking lot, Sir.".

This was used as a humiliation tactic when someone was a complete dolt and did something really stupid. Not meant to be painful but embarrassing. If it was really cold out during winter, you got to stand by a window with the paper binoculars on "Helicopter Watch".

There would never be any helicopters, or any other air traffic passing overhead because it's a controlled military airspace, but once there was some emergency at the base and a helicopter actually overflew the base, and the poor swabbie on "Helicopter Watch" went into a panic because he had sighted one, and wasn't told what to do if he actually saw one!

If I have ELF

[Icegryphon]

If I have ELF support compiled into my kernel does this mean I have to pull it out and recompile?

Re:Conspiracy Theories

[NoMoreNicksLeft]

It's a shame that guy didn't see the 25 mile long antenna that was hidden pointing at his desk, he could have avoided the fatal rare blood disease.

Re:fleet of nuclear submarines, both in Wisconsin

[seven of five]

Our deterrent against the Canadian threat.

Re:Superceded

[Mattintosh]

I guess you can come up with a couple of US examples, too, if you remember your military history hard enough.

Custer at Little Big Horn springs to mind right away.

Re:Superceded

[Fulcrum of Evil]

[Aussie aussie aussie!]

Oi Oi Oi!

Re:Superceded - reality check

[Anonymous Coward]

The other cool thing about a D.E. sub is that you can surface it and put a lantern at the top point of the sub.

Then have all the crew start singing "louie louie," rather drunkenly.

After the nuke leaves cause it thinks you're a fishing vessel, you hold a mock pirate trial and dump an idiotic loudmouth onto a passing fishing vessel, piggyback between the screws of an oil tanker and blow up the dummy ship in the harbor.

All with 'welcome aboard' tatooed on your peepee

Re:Superceded

[Anonymous Coward]

When we do exercises with foreign nationals, we have to mask our true sound signature, so as not to give away valuable data on HOW quiet we are, exactly what noises we normally make, and how best to detect us. Also, a submarine exercise where nobody can see anyone else isn't very good training - it's just driving around in circles. So sometimes we have to give away our position on purpose to get the show on the road.
>
>

Is this when US Navy Subs aren't raming unarmed Japanese Fishing Boats?

So?

[Anonymous Coward]

What would the Canadian Army want with the Michigan militia's ass?