Gravitation Anomaly Measured

Rob Riggs writes "Is there a hole in Einstein's Theory of Relativity? A story in The Economist talks about an apparent gravitation anomaly recorded during solar eclipses. According to Chris Duif at the Delft University of Technology, the 'Allais effect' is real, unexplained, and could be linked to another anomaly involving a the Pioneer spacecraft. More detailed information can be found in the paper he has just posted on arXiv.org."

SUBSPACE !!!

[freedom_india]

This confirms the existence of Subspace and we're waiting for the Bord to open up a Subspace Tetrion Matrix Wormhole to assimilate us.

Where is Capn' Picard when he is needed

Gravitation Anomaly

[Anonymous Coward]

My wife had one of these after she went in for breast augmentation...

No such thing

[raider_red]

Remember: there is no gravity. The Earth sucks.

Re:The Economist?

[raider_red]

Never mind. I RTFA, and now I know that it was an economist who first discovered the effect. (Which in my mind only casts doubt on its existance.)

Re:SUBSPACE !!!

[Marxist Hacker 42]

Look out for that BORD! It's big and flat! And hey, what's that black humanoid thing on it? A Borg you say? RESISTANCE IS FUTILE!

so called paraconical pendula

[Artifakt]

According to the article, earlier results include those measured with "so called paraconical pendula". It's shocking to think that we have allowed ersatz paraconical pendula to be used in place of the genuine articles.
Mr. President, we must spend whatever is necessary to close the paraconical pendula gap.

Re:No such thing

[the eric conspiracy]

Indeed. In fact there is no light either. The Sun sucks dark. In fact it sucks dark so hard that the friction of the dark moving to the Sun causes the Sun to be very hot. The flow of dark towards the Sun interrupted by the Earth causes the side of the Earth away from the Sun to accumulate dark, thus causing Night. As the Earth rotates the dark caught on the night side can then be pulled off, this causing the absence of dark known as Day.

What we call light bulbs are truly dark suckers as well. That is why light bulbs are hot, just like the Sun. When a light bulb is full of dark and won't suck dark any more, it cools off. If you look in old light bulbs you can even seen the accumulation of dark.

Dark is also heavier than water. This can be seen in the oceans where the deeper you go the darker it gets.

In other news...

[Anonymous Coward]

Michael Moore visited a gravitometer station today, and just as he walked in, had the incredible fortune to witness the beginning of an unexplained gravitational anomaly event.

Re:SUBSPACE !!!

[Samlind1]

The Bord are already with us, and in fact spend most of their workday reading the forums and posting on /.

Re:One possible explanation

[thephotoman]

But, given your first postulation, we have a problem:

Given: Photons are quantized light
Given: Light travels at c
Given: No massive particle can travel at or faster than c
Given: c is defined as the speed of light in a vaccuum

Postulated: Photons have mass

Therefore: Light has mass, as it consists of massive particles
Therefore: Light cannot travel at or faster than c
Therefore: The speed of light is less than c.

Therefore: c is less than c

ERROR: STACK OVERFLOW

Re:Anomaly in Gravity During Sun Eclipses?

[Steve Franklin]

Now there's a scrabble word if ever I saw one!

Re:No such thing

[Nos.]

We know the speed of light, but what is the speed of dark?

Re:In other news...

[Samlind1]

He must have been close to GWB. Anything that dense is bound to affect a gravitometer.

Too easy, give me another..

Re:Speed of Dark

[curtoid]

African or European?

Re:3rd body problem?

[Suidae]

I know where you can get a perfect solution to the problem. Unfortunately, the computer for it takes up a rather large bit of real estate, and it runs in realtime.

Re:No such thing

[value_added]

I'm sure I'm not the only thinking, "If this guy ever writes an Encyclopaedia of Everthing, I'd be the first to buy a copy. If he doesn't, I hope he at least tells us what kind of drugs he's using."

Re:No such thing

[Anonymous Coward]

California's elementary schools are great things, aren't they?

Re:SUBSPACE !!!

[Anonymous Coward]

"Is there a hole in Einstein's Theory of Relativity?"

No, that's just the goatse guy!

Re:In other news...

[Marko DeBeeste]

Until he was told to move his pendulous mass

I knew it was a powerful IDE but ...

[JavaNPerl]

I thought running Eclipse on my Sun workstation was just ironic.

Re:Anomaly in Gravity During Sun Eclipses?

[DamEEZ]

Mass.

Re:SUBSPACE !!!

[Anonymous Writer]

We are Bord. Prepare to be athimilated. Rethithtanth ith futile.

The Darksucker Theory

[gregmac]

For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit light, but recent information has proved otherwise.

Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus, we call these bulbs Dark Suckers.

The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark suckers prove that dark has mass and is heavier than light.

First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater capacity to suck dark than the ones in this room.

So with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker.

A candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a white wick. You can see that after the first use, the wick turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive Dark Suckers is their limited range.

There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate again.

Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, friction from the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not wise to touch an operating candle.

Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of the lake and the lighter light floats at the top. The is why it is called light.

Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark closet, and slowly opened the closet door, you would see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the closet.

Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is a Dark Sucker.

Re:SUBSPACE !!!

[daeley]

waiting for the Bord

We are the Bord.
Ennui will envelope you.
Existence is futile.

Re:3rd body problem?

[Tired and Emotional]

Classical gravitation has trouble with the three body problem but if you really want to get into difficulties, study quantum field theory - there you are already in trouble with no bodies at all.

Re:Good reason for a mission to the Moon

[Grishnakh]

Yes, I'm serious about this. This is fundamental to our understanding of physics, which is in turn fundamental to our understanding of the origins, processes and fate of the universe. A billion to put a pendulum on the Moon would be money well spent.

This is a total waste; the Republicans already know the origins of the universe. It's all written in the book of Genesis. The earth was created 6000 years ago, in 7 days. That billion dollars would be better spent on more military hardware for use in the US's next invasion, or better yet it could be given in a no-bid contract to Halliburton for some massively overpriced fuel and services.

Re:3rd body problem?

[Tongo]

Damnit people, the answer is 42. Now please, can you start working on the question?

Re:One possible explanation

[six11]

• Photons have mass.

Photons are Catholic?!?

Ironically enough..

[murderlegendre]

A story in The Economist talks about an apparent gravitation anomaly

My submission of a story from The Gravatationist discussing the current US economy, was rejected this morning.

DARK MATTER FOUND

[DM9290]

This also could explain why astronomers can't find the missing dark matter.

Re:One possible explanation

[Anonymous Coward]

Only the Catholic photons have mass.

3rd body very much a problem

[totoanihilation]

I've asked my girlfriend many times about involving a third body, but she consistently refuses.

Re:Possible explanation

[Anonymous Coward]

Yeah, I'm sure one of you here is going to figure out the explanation for this effect. Let's all start proposing theories!

Because when you think Advanced Particle Physics

[Cyberllama]

You think of The Economist. Where else will you find the all latest scientific breakthroughs?

Re:SUBSPACE !!!

[Tablizer]

we're waiting for the Bord to open up a Subspace...

Oh my God! Anti-gravity flipped the "g" over. We are dooned!

Re:Gravitation Anomaly

[Tablizer]

My wife had one of these after she went in for breast augmentation...

"They swing lower because you are getting old, honey; not because of the ecli...*WHACK*

Re:A reminder

[Iainuki]

This is not quite accurate: there are analystic solutions for single-body cases more complicated than Schwarzschild (spinning black holes for instance), and for some exotica that may be physically uninteresting (Godel's rotating universes, for instance). The commmon feature of all analytic solutions is the high degree of symmetry they possess.

Re:Einstein would not be surprised

[porp]

Give Joe Sixpack the ability to harvest sub-etha superbosons and create a kg of antimatter, and that's all she wrote.

That's all who wrote? Do you know her name? If so, let's find out where she lives and kill her and her writings. Then she never wrote it; it never happened; we all lived; and you're the idiot that believed in her. March with me now.

porp

Re:3rd body problem?

[ColaMan]

Actually , *I* have three solutions to it, I just can't decide which one to use :-)

Re:3rd body very much a problem

[Madcapjack]

I've asked my girlfriend many times about involving a third body, but she consistently refuses.

Well an analytical closed-form solution might not be possible, but iteration will surely help.

Re:SUBSPACE !!!

[aussie_a]

Would your Bord have a BORD? [acronymfinder.com]

The final frontier

[aussie_a]

these are the voyages of the fast-food chain McDonalds. It's continuing mission, to explore new countries, to create a race of fat people, to go boldly where no fast-food chain has gone before.

Re:The Darksucker Theory

[aussie_a]

Tips for successful karma-whoring: #64 Criticise a joke with incorrect data but make sure you don't do it anonymously