Need A New Retina? Look No Further

wap writes "Restoring sight to the blind is a Bibical miracle, a sign of divine powers. Now it is being tested at the Boston Retinal Implant Project, with some very limited success, according to Technology Review. They only have fifteen electrodes implanted, but it's a start. Great quotes: 'The eye doesn't like stuff inside it, that's why it doesn't have a zipper.' Will artificial eyes and retinal replacements someday be as good as good human eyes?"

FLABBBLALBBL

[Anonymous Coward]

Ah Chew, if you could only see what I've seen with your eyes

Re:As good???

[catwh0re]

I'm imaginging bad webcam quality eyes. Then people quoting back and forth, "oh you got crap logitech eyes, you should have bought iSight eyes"....

5 months later it'll be deemed that our eye sight can be tapped under the PATRIOT act and similar.

Where's Captain Cyborg?

[leeroybrown]

15 electrodes implanted in someone's boday and not a sign of Kevin Warwick. Perhaps we'll get some actual research with scientific basis for a change.

High-res

[Zorilla]

They only have fifteen electrodes implanted, but it's a start...

Looks like it's nice and high-res so far. Just remember, when you're walking down the street and pick up a square-thingy, just remember how to get the freakin' duck away from you! [warrenrobinett.com]

Gives a whole new meaning to...

[mrjb]

"I can't see a thing without my glasses!"

I don't see what the big deal is...

[Anonymous Coward]

Really, I don't. =)

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[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

Re:When will they learn?

[Anonymous Coward]

Lisa: Dad, you shouldn't wear glasses that weren't prescribed for you.
Homer: Lisa, just because you're ten feet tall doesn't mean you can tell me what to do.

Get infravision, Win the JREF Prize...

[NarrMaster]

If someone had the ability to see in the infrared spectrum, they could possibly decieve the James Randi Educational Foundation. [randi.org] Contact James Randi, claim you can see "auras", set up the test to your advantage and viola! A cool $1,000,000! Put another way:

1. Get infravision.
2. Contact James Randi.
3. Profit!

Missing Zoom function

[waynemcdougall]

Lister: Any problems?
Kryten: Well, just one or two. In fact I've compiled a little list if you'll indulge me. Now then, uh, my optical system doesn't appear to have a zoom function.
Lister: No, human eyes don't have a zoom.
Kryten: Well then, how do you bring a small object into sharp focus?
Lister: Well, you just move your head closer to the object.
Kryten: I see. Move your head ... closer, hmm, to the object. All right, okay. Well, what about other optical effects, like split screen, slow motion, Quantel(tm)?
Lister: No. We don't have them.
Kryten: You don't have them -- just the zoom? Hmm. Well, no, that's fine, that's great, no, no, that's really great, that's great.

Screw Artificial Eyes

[Anonymous Coward]

I want chainsaw hands!

Conspiracy!

[Lostie]

I wouldn't be surprised if this company is also responsible for running shock sites such as goat.cx - they produce severe retinal scarring, perfect for business!

Example of overlay data

[zonix]

1) Serve the public trust
2) Protect the innocent
3) Uphold the law
4) Secret

z

Re:Can I get these in "Beer Goggles" mode?

[Anonymous Coward]

Being able to look at ugly chicks as if they were beautiful would be a gift beyond price.

Drinking four large glasses of beer in an hour works for me.

Re:Can I get these in "Beer Goggles" mode?

[stemcell]

Oh come on, this is /. - being able to look at inflatable chicks as it they were beautiful would be a start......

Re:Can I get these in "Beer Goggles" mode?

[terrencefw]

What? You want the beer goggles without the beer? What's wrong with you!

Re:Get infravision, Win the JREF Prize...

[pjt33]

set up the test to your advantage and viola!

I knew I should have taken music lessons in school.

Re:Outstanding

[n0rr1s]

I think there is nothing beyond the scope of human accomplishment if we could just focus on things that are really important.

Unfortunately, using this eye, nobody can focus on anything.

stupid title!

[Anonymous Coward]

Need A New Retina? Look No Further

if you need a new retina, you can't look any further!

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[account_deleted]

Comment removed based on user account deletion

The 24th Century, when Kunta Kinte is blind

[Anonymous Coward]

and men are still bald.

Need A New Retina? Look No Further

[caronc]

Of course I won't... I need a new retina!!

Re:As good???

[Eric604]

Is the adult brain plastic enough to learn to process this data at all? What about a child's brain?

Yes! That's a briliant idea! When the adult brain is not plastic enough, why not use children brains as a coprocessor? The only problem is where to leave it.. Perhaps artificially expand the skull to hold an extra smaller brain?

Re:FLABBBLALBBL

[Anonymous Coward]

> Ah Chew

Bless you!

Eye of Newt

[jbeaupre]

People have tinkered like this for a long time. My favorite, going back to 1997, is where they combined silicon and eye of newt. No kidding! http://www.devicelink.com/mddi/archive/99/07/003.h tml [devicelink.com]

How are you going to power these things?

[tokenhillbilly]

I mean what happens if your on the road and forget your charger? You wake up in the morning and all you see is a little battery low indicator. Since you got your eyes last year, non of the stores carry a charger for your obsolete eyes.