SELEX at Fermilab Discovers New Particle 259
sellthesedownfalls writes "Scientists at the Department of Energy's Fermi National Accelerator Laboratory will announce on Friday, June 18 the observation of an unexpected new member of a family of subatomic particles called 'heavy-light' mesons. The new meson, a combination of a strange quark and a charm antiquark, is the heaviest ever observed in this family, and it behaves in surprising ways -- it apparently breaks the rules on decaying into other particles. See the Fermilab Press Release."
Slashdot Reader Discovers New Oxymoron (Score:2, Funny)
False Alarm (Score:4, Funny)
What, no pictures? (Score:5, Funny)
Now, I think this is the lifetime of the usual shorter-lived mesons, but still...
strange, charm, rule breaker: (Score:5, Funny)
I feel so dirty.
Re:Slashdot Reader Discovers New Oxymoron (Score:3, Funny)
Heretics (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Slashdot Reader Discovers New Oxymoron (Score:2, Funny)
So, in keeping with the lighthearted naming conventions of the 50s and 60s that brought us "charm" and "strange" in the first place (I voted for "Chocolate" and "Maple Walnut" myself), why not just call it the "Laurel and Hardy" Meson?
KFG
In future times.... (Score:1, Funny)
That said: can you imagine 500 years from now when teachers are in class, getting past Newton and saying "Oh, and then the 20th century when Einstein and Heisenburg had their theories. Remember how we talked about Gallileo dropping objects and measuring the speed? Well, those 20th century guys did that with quantum mechanics. Get this: they smashed subatomic particles together to figure out what they were made of! Here's a picture. Now, stop laughing - and Jimmy, I see your eyes glazed over, stop downloading porn through your bainjack and pay attention."
Re:Heretics (Score:1, Funny)
KFG
Obligatory Futurama quote (Score:2, Funny)
Farnsworth: It's a single atom of jumbonium. And element so rare, the nucleus alone is worth more than $50,000.
Bender: How much more?
Farnsworth: $100,000.
Somebody's having a lot of fun at work... (Score:5, Funny)
Look at what they had for lunch on 06/17:
Aztec Tortilla Soup
Hot Italian Sub $4.75
Chicken Picata $3.75
Thai Beef $3.75
Roast Beef Cheddar on Kaiser Roll $4.75
Beef Strombolis $2.85
Marinated or Cajun Chicken Caesar Salads $4.75
It's a wonder they got any work done that day...
Just as I suspected... (Score:4, Funny)
They're not so smart... (Score:2, Funny)
Shit man, I could of told you that.
Break out the Doohan impressions... (Score:3, Funny)
Shatner: "Scotty, you only have 60 seconds, hurry!"
And, BTW, congrats to the Fermi team. I have plenty of friends employed there, I always like to see new discoveries. Good job, guys.
Re:In other news... (Score:5, Funny)
Actually it reveals nothing that we didn't already suspect. But it does show that besides arsenic, lead, mercury, radon, strontium and plutonium, one more extremely deadly and pervasive element is known to exist.
This startling new discovery has been tentatively named Governmentium (Gv) but kept top secret for 50 years. The new element has no protons or electrons, thus having an atomic number of 0. It does, however, have 1 neutron, 125 deputy neutrons, 75 supervisory neutrons, and 111 team leader neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by a force called morons, that are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since it has no electrons, Governmentium is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact.
According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of approximately three years. It does not decay but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the deputy neutrons, supervisory neutrons, and team leader neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium mass will actually increase over time, since, with each reorganization, some of the morons inevitably become neutrons, forming new isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to speculate that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the "Critical Morass."
http://www.appleseeds.org/governmentium.htm
Re:strange, charm, rule breaker: (Score:2, Funny)
That'll be the physicists, right?
Sure. They'll spend all the days trying to evaluate the interaction of SELEX and Burgburgburg. It's no good for their relationship...
Kisses
--
Re:heavy - light? (Score:2, Funny)
I tell you, man, this Atkins thing is going *way* too far.
I for one.... (Score:2, Funny)
Don't run afoul of the DMCA (Score:3, Funny)
Doesn't this attempted decryption of the universe break a provision in the DMCA? If that's not applicable, then I'm sure Microsoft will be getting a patent on it any day now.
Re:What, no pictures? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Heretics (Score:2, Funny)
Q: Name two properties of a free radical
1. Long hair
2. "Save the Whale" badge
Re:False Alarm (Score:5, Funny)
The story is in an indeterminate state between truth and falsity, and apparently the number of bottles is in an indeterminate state between 1 and 2, and the theory of how they got there is referred to as the Heineken uncertainty principle.
An adventure... (Score:5, Funny)
You see a meson.
>Examine meson.
It's too small for you to see.
>Examine meson with microscope.
The meson appears to be composed of too smaller particles, a quark and an antiquark.
>Examine quark.
The quark is strange.
>Examine antiquark.
The pleasant blue glow leads you to conclude that this is a charmed antiquark.
>Rub antiquark.
Your fingers are too big and clumsy.
>Rub antiquark with cue-tip.
You suddenly feel lucky.
Two elf-nymphs enter the room. They look at you expectedly...
Affinity (Score:3, Funny)
Re:What, no pictures? (Score:1, Funny)
you know, I wouldn't have guessed from your reply...
Is there a Warp Drive here? (Score:3, Funny)
So, if the Fermilab folks could tell us whether this will lead to any or all of the following useful devices, I would greatly appreciate it:
1) Warp Drive
2) A way to make all the stars in the galaxy go supernova at once
3) Bring back all the socks that vanish in the dryer
4) Mr. Fusion
5) Flying Cars
Re:False Alarm (Score:2, Funny)
Re:What, no pictures? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:No such thing as "breaks the rules" (Score:2, Funny)
Re:No such thing as "breaks the rules" (Score:2, Funny)