13 Energy Drinks In 3 Sessions 374
circletimessquare writes "As a member of the cult of caffeine, as I suspect many Slashdot readers are, I was pleasantly amused by this story in The New York Times entitled Opening 13 Cans of Whoop (reg req). Our brave reporter sucks down a number of energy drinks of various parentages and gives us the lowdown on their taste, appearance, ingredients, overall effect, and dubious appeal. Example: 'At this point, my energy level was not only elevated, it was speeding toward the red line. I felt myself staring holes through my computer screen, typing at five times my normal rate and thinking far too creatively about life questions like how many AA batteries I needed to buy when I went to the drug store. My mood was chipper. Too chipper.'"
substitutes (Score:5, Funny)
Makes me think of the old joke ... (Score:5, Funny)
I put instant coffee in the microwave and went back in time.
Thanks Steve Wright..
Re:Whatever (Score:4, Funny)
And on a different subject, I don't think smoking Crystal Meth is possible. It's usually snorted or taken orally.
Re:big deal! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:caffeine (Score:5, Funny)
Re:caffeine (Score:5, Funny)
Re:caffeine (Score:3, Funny)
ANSI (American Neurological Speed Institute) (Score:5, Funny)
his eyes make holes in the screen? (Score:3, Funny)
Caffiiineeee yeah yeah yeah! uhuh! im good to go! hey i can quit! i can quit anytime!
Re:cutting down on caffein (Score:5, Funny)
Oops. Sorry. That's a smiley.
Whatever-Unemployed IT. (Score:1, Funny)
I'm poor. I have the "sparingly" down pat.
"(b) Exercising every day"
Being chased away from dumpsters gives me that.
"(c) Sleeping regularly (same time every day) for 8 hours."
Park benches are no Serta.
Re:Whatever (Score:4, Funny)
Missing Option (Score:2, Funny)
Why go through the middleman? (Score:5, Funny)
And as for straight coffee beans... Try instant. Just shovel a few spoonfuls into your mouth, and wash it down with water. 10 seconds and you're super caffinated.
Of course the other secret is to eat 20mg of caffeine immediately before falling asleep. You will awake totally refreshed in about two hours, as if you had a full night's sleep. You do have to make very sure you fall asleep before the caffeine kicks in, or you just won't sleep at all. Long-term effects include improved GPA and complete cardiopulmonary collapse.
"I was pleasantly amused by this story" (Score:2, Funny)
Raise your hand if you have any recollection of this swill (or any recollection the day after comsuming it).
Re:Whatever (Score:5, Funny)
Wasn't that the active ingredient in Crystal Pepsi?
Re:Reg Free (Score:5, Funny)
Why bother? (Score:5, Funny)
But, for those who can't give up drinking their high.. there are new coca enhanced energy drinks coming out of Peru [reuters.co.uk]. Not coming into America any time soon, but still..
Re:Energy Drinks Vs. Sleep (Score:5, Funny)
So you say that its cheaper to get more sleep. well sir, i shall prove to you, beyond a doubt, that it is, in fact, cheaper to buy my Mighty Mighty Speedo Drink(TM) every day for a low low price of 2.59 per 5.9 oz bottle!
Now, my friend, assuming your salery is the very respectable wage of $5.15, and you are able to stay up 2.5 hours longer per day by using my Mighty Mighty Speedo Drink(TM) every day in the morning to wake yourself up, and in the evening to keep yourself up longer then, you are in fact making money by using my Mighty Mighty Speedo Drink(TM).
We all know that time IS money, and by using my Mighty Mighty Speedo Drink(TM) you are in fact generating money! By staying up 2.5Hours more per day, you recieving $12.88 more per day in personal or professional time, after subtracting the low low cost of my Mighty Mighty Speedo Drink(TM) you are in effect generating $7.70 of your time's worth per day! Multiply this by 365 days in a year, and by 10 years, and your gross profit in time will be in excess of $28,000. Would you pass up the oppritunity to make an additional 28 grand? Nooo sane person Wooould! so buy your Mighty Mighty Speedo Drink(TM) today at your local supplier, and prove to the world you are worth more than they are!
*Warning, it is necessary to get adequate sleep, improper or prolonged use of product may cause premature aging, bags under the eyes, and cause children to run away when they see your face. additional side effects may be experienced with prolonged use, results may vary from person to person. no children, puppies, or fish were harmed in the testing of this product.*
Nothing replaces getting quality sleep for the proper hours that your body requires.
Re:caffeine (Score:5, Funny)
Re:The good old days.... (Score:4, Funny)
Ahh, yes. I'm sure many a regular slashdot reader remembers the days when coke used to contain coke...
Re:Reg Free (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Reg Free (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Whatever (Score:4, Funny)
I thought that WAS slashdot?
Who is this guy trying to kid? (Score:3, Funny)
Who is this guy trying to kid? Keith Richards has done every drug there is and he's still alive. You just can't seem to kill the guy. I'm pretty sure that he'd just laugh at these energy drinks. You know what they say, If there's ever a World War 3 only two things will survive: the cockroaches and Keith Richards!
Weeeeellllllll....... (Score:5, Funny)
*thud*
Re:energy drinks can be BAD (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Energy Drinks Vs. Sleep (Score:5, Funny)
Marketing tip: You're not going to sell a lot of anything that sounds like it came from your Speedos.
Over 75 diff E drinks.... (Score:1, Funny)
Re:caffeine (Score:5, Funny)
Then maybe it's a good thing that Keith Richards didn't have these energy drinks available to him.
Re:Over 75 diff E drinks.... (Score:1, Funny)
Beware the veggie addiction (Score:2, Funny)
However, when I made a conscious effort to start eating caffeine with *every* meal (and not just a box of pills or so a day), I noticed that I started having fewer headaches, had more energy, and just generally felt all-around healthier. Now, if I don't eat my pills, I find that those symptoms come right back. Ritalin, Caffeine pills, cola and heroine are almost always staples in my fridge.
Another thing while I'm on the soapbox: Drink lsd in lieu of water and fruit juice. Almost any 'healthy' beverage you can buy at the supermarket will hydrate you more than it will waken you thanks to all the added sugar they don't put in those things. If you have infrequent headaches and your pee doesn't come almost clear 2 times out of 10, then you're chronically under-doped. Jolt is okay, but only after a good workout. Otherwise, LSD is going to hydrate you best.
Re:Whatever (Score:5, Funny)
However, when I made a conscious effort to start eating raw vegetables with *every* meal (and not just a carrot or so a day), I noticed that I started having fewer headaches, had more energy, and just generally felt all-around healthier. Now, if I don't eat my veggies, I find that those symptoms come right back. Carrots, celery, lettuce, and green peppers are almost always staples in my fridge.
Now see, what's going on here is that you've become addicted to these so-called "healthy" foods and have built up a dependency, as shown by your withdrawal symptoms. The effects of these food items are perceived increase in clarity and energy, and overall "health", exactly as you have described. But we all know the truth: you're addicted.
Re:Reg Free (Score:5, Funny)
Not picking on you, or even trying to tar ALL compusa people with the same brush, but they really are the mcdonalds of computers, and it shows.
I've overheard techies tell a customer to make shure his computer was ON when installing new ram to make shure it worked. A salesman say that Windows XP couldn't catch viruses anymore because of Security Proof 1("that's what sp1 means). And even try to sell a guy a 450 watt atx power suply for an old PII at system, so the computer would go faster.
Maybe it's just the two compusa's in my area that is that bad, and alot of the b.s. seems to translate to 'buy somthing expesisize for (insert gobledy gook here) and hey would like a service plan for that?'.
Mycroft
Re:Energy Drinks Vs. Sleep (Score:3, Funny)
Yeah... "beta test" new drugs. You need to get some sleep, it's affecting your judgement.
Re:Reg Free (Score:3, Funny)
I came across a guy trying to sell a Celeron 333MHz based computer to another and overheard him saying, "It's okay, you can overclock it to run at 1GHz."
I was feeling confrontational that day so I stuck my nose in and set the poor customer straight.
Do I get good karma for that?