Monsanto Wins Case Over Patented Canola

c writes "The Supreme Court of Canada says that you're liable if a plant with a patented gene infects your property. If you recall, Schmeiser claims (and research supports) that Roundup Ready canola seeds infected his own crops. Monsanto prosecuted him for patent infringement." Some other links: Monsanto's press release, Globe and Mail story.

In related news...

[k4_pacific]

A local man injured by stray gunfire was arrested for stealing bullets.

Great quote

[gphinch]

"By cultivating a plant containing the patented gene and composed of the patented cells without license, [the Schmeisers] thus deprived Monsanto of the full enjoyment of its monopoly." Even better is that for some reason my brain was switched off and I kept reading Monsanto as Microsoft.

Higher life forms

[Rupert]

According to this court, the most advanced patentable life form is higher than canola but lower than a mouse. We will therefore need another ruling before we know if Supreme Court Justices are patentable or not.

In Related News:

[Paulrothrock]

Monsanto Sues Itself

Frankenfood giant Monsanto sued itself today in what can only be described as absolute lunacy.

Claiming that the genetically modified corn it produced can reproduce itself without human assistance, Monsanto has sued itself for intellectual property infringement under the DMCA.

"It's clear that the corn is a decryption device because it can take the code we gave it and illegally copy itself," said Monsanto's legal head Hebert R. Pufinstuf. "The fact that this deprives us of profits leaves us only one recourse; we must sue ourselves for the profits lost by producing reproducing corn."

Slashdot 2021

[elwell642]

May 21, 2021: AdmrlTaco writes "The Supreme Court of Canada says that you're liable if a human clone with a patented gene infects your property, citing Monsanto vs Schmeiser."

Muahahaha

[Experiment 626]

This has given me an idea for my next evil ploy for world domination:

1. Develop highly contageous but otherwise harmless airborne bacterial stain
2. Patent its genetic sequence
3. Release into the wild
4. Sit back and collect royalty payments from everyone using my technology

*insane cackling*

GPL

[minus_273]

heh reminds me of software accidentally infected with GPL code

Business plan

[Stallmanite]

1. Patent any common technique worms use to spread
2. Sue every microsoftie in Canada
3. Profit

Re:Wait a minute...

[bofkentucky]

You got chocolate in my peanut butter
You got peanut butter in my chocolate

Re:Killing Roundup Ready Plants

[happyfrogcow]

..what, like a crop duster that throws lawyers out of the plane onto the offending crops?

but seriously...

probably. if you can be sued for inadvertantly having these crops in your property, then fair use would seem to dictate that you have the right to reverse engineer the product. if you weren't, and only Monsanto were allowed to do so, then they could somehow promote the spreading of their product (the crop) to create a need for a RoundupReady Plant Killer. The situation would be like antivirus companies spreading new computer viruses, and you can only use their av software to eliminate their viruses.

So...

[Anonymous Coward]

If we can patent some of the genes in the corporate execs of Monsanto, can we stop *them* from reproducing? ;)

Re:So, it spreads itself...

[Graff]

I imagine the purists who want full organic food may be surprised that thier food may be cross-polinated with a genetic crop.

I would imagine that the crops are still organic, being that they grow and are composed mostly of carbon molecules and water...

I'm sure that this crop is a lot tastier and nutritious than the INorganic rocks and dirt that are just lying around!

And in the real world today....

[sane?]

Monsanto were sued successfully for releasing a biohazard into the environment without any viable means to control it.

A spokesman said "We're really sorry, what the hell were we thinking, we have no idea what the long term effects of this are, let alone being able to sensible make profit from it. We're sorry; really sorry."

A judge was heard to remark "You ignorant bastards. How dare you play stupid corporate games with the livelihood and future of substanical numbers of people? You bastards are going to fry."

When did I fall through the wormhole ?

great incentive

[jdunlevy]

... for Monsanto to be sure their seeds "accidentally" end up on as many fields as possible.

Accept my appologies on behalf of Central Services

[Jeremiah Cornelius]

Well, we are so VERY sorry, Mrs. Buttle.

Re:no, we're not surprised...

[Anonymous Coward]

Finally an example of how bad "intellectual property" laws can actually kill you!
The baby-killing RIAA and MPAA must be stopped.

Re:For you city folk...

[Graff]

Canola is the very definition of hearty crop. It is a 3 foot high plant with yellow flowers and once it is established in an area it is almost impossible to get rid of.

Heh, this reminds me of when I was working as a research assistant at a state department of agriculture station. We were clearing a field to plant bok choy, to test it as a possible crop to be grown in my state. The field had been growing belgian endive the previous few seasons. To get rid of the endive left over from the year before they just plowed it under, leaving bits and pieces of the plants.

Well, this was dumb because endive is a weed - it's a member of the composite family of plants, a large group that includes dandelions and chicory. If you cut a plant up, especially the root, it will grow into two or more full plants. We spent the entire growing season watching for endive plants to spring up and then we had to get down on our hands and knees and dig out the entire plant, root and all, with gardening shovels. If we accidently broke the plant and left a piece of root behind then another full plant would quickly grow in place of the one we removed. What a mess!

Re:So, it spreads itself...

[Anonymous Coward]

For the record, I'm still undecided on the issue.

Thank God! I've been on pins and needles lately wondering where you stood.

Re:Roundup-resistant dandelions.

[caramelcarrot]

Is evolution in violation of their patents?

Re:ROFLMAO! Good work! Mod up clear to Pluto

[avgjoe62]

Ahem, Pluto is the god of the Underworld. That would be DOWN from everywhere except New Jersey...

Re:So, it spreads itself...

[the_mad_poster]

Coincidence that 10 year old girls have C cup's now ?

You've been researching this? So... where do you live, again? I... uh... just wanted to... mm... send a.. uh.. pizza.... not the police or anything.

Re:Glad we're not the only ones!

[Anonymous Coward]

Otherwise, you might as well select dandelions on their ability to speak French... ..which is infinitely more probable than a Frenchman defeating a dandelion in combat.

Re:Glad we're not the only ones!

[Anonymous Coward]

I wish there were a moderation option for "STFU."

Re:So, it spreads itself...

[Guppy06]

"Coincidence that 10 year old girls have C cup's now ?"

Haven't you been getting your daily required dose of television lately? We Americans are so obese that our 10 year old boys have C cups.

now I know how to make myself rich

[keithmoore]

I'll design a new kind of computer virus that infects Windows.
Then I'll patent it.
Then I'll license the technology to a single virus filter vendor.
Sooner or later a virus will appear that violates the patent.
When that happens I'll sue everyone whose computer gets infected with it, sue all of the virus filter vendors who didn't license the patent, and sue Microsoft for contributory infringement.