First Bank Transfer via Quantum Cryptography

An anonymous reader writes with today's announcement that "the Austrian project for Quantum Cryptography made the world's first Bank Transfer via Quantum Cryptography Based on Entangled Photons; see also Einstein-Podolski-Rosen Paradoxon." (For more background, see the recent Slashdot post "Quantum Cryptography Leaving the Lab.")

Unexpected Consequences

[etLux]

Yes, but... what will I now need to decode my bank statements?

But...

[DonServo]

Wouldn't checking if the transfer went through alter your balance? :-P

Unfortunately...

[Anonymous Coward]

...I can't observe my checking account balance without lowering it.

Quantum tracking number...

[gevmage]

So the transaction slip presumably says:

Your transaction number has a 90% probability of being between 8765432 and 8765478.

Have a 75% nice day.

Re:But...

[Anonymous Coward]

I looked in my account and found out my cat was dead.

You know the two-slit experiment? Well, its just like that
-- standard explanation for weird quantum things when you don't know the right answer.

My check bounced

[Anonymous Coward]

Due to Insufficient Cat.

Re:Entangled Photons

[Professr3]

Please be Bill Gates, please be Bill Gates, please be Bill Gates...

When in doubt, mod +1 funny and pray

Due to the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle...

[gid13]

... there has been a bank error in your favour. Collect $200. :)

You Q-bank Transfer

[Anonymous Coward]

Was for +/- $100i

Thank you for your patronage.

What about the fees

[GuyinVA]

Sure but would they still charge a fee for using "out of our network" ATMs?

trade ya

[theMerovingian]

I'll give you my entangled photons in exchange for chocolate [slashdot.org].

Dear Prestigious Journal

[Letter]

Dear Prestigious Journal,

At the University concluded a study which finds quantum cryptography is a lot better than plain cryptography. Please FAX bank account via quantum cryptography to KWEISE MFUME at [phone] for full article.

Looking forward to hearing,
Letter

quantum bank transfers

[jacquesm]

are only good for small change...

This just in

[MajorDick]

Man arrested in connection with bank transfer fraud, he reportedly stole 1.2 million dollars using a flashlight

Complicated

[nycsubway]

Thats some damn complicated stuff, there! I hope the technicians who fix the ATM machine know about phuton criptography. I may know how to program with code, but damned if i know how futons work!

Re:Quantum Bank Transfers

[Anonymous Coward]

I wouldn't be so certain of that.

Re:My check bounced

[Anonymous Coward]

Did you look? Because that may have caused your problem.

Heisenberger

[jabbadabbadoo]

According to Heisenberger, my money is going to be both here and there. And if I'm to check my balance, the result will be inaccurate because I'm checking it up.

Nah, back to those good ol' electrons.

Re:Complicated

[Anonymous Coward]

"I may know how to program with code, but damned if i know how futons work!"

Simple: fold the futon up when you want to use it as a couch and then fold it back down when you want to use it as a bed.

Re:Unexpected Consequences

[Oxy the moron]

Yes, but... what will I now need to decode my bank statements?

You are able to decode them now??

So...

[Kenja]

So then the money has been both transfered and not transfered? That sounds like an argument waiting to happen.

Re:You Q-bank Transfer

[lpangelrob2]

The last time I tried to use imaginary money, the government had me arrested for fraud. Well, Uncle Sam, look at me now!

Re:Heisenberger

[Nuklearwanze]

well you have to decide: either know where your money is, or how much it is...

Unfortunately

[Anonymous Coward]

The more accurately you know how much money to send, the less you know about where to send the money.

quantum jokes galore

[TMB]

Yeah, but filling out the slip for "1/sqrt(2) |deposit> - i/sqrt(2) |withdrawal>" is a pain, and thanks to the epoch of inflation my balance is now much smaller than the rest of the universe... luckily, even in an income vacuum my balance randomly jumps up, but only for REEEEAAALLLLYY short lengths of time. I've been hawking radiation for a while but everyone says it's just a two slit operation.

Okay, I'm done now.

[TMB]

Re:Unfortunately...

[Brandybuck]

It's called an account balance statement fee, and has nothing to do with quantum physics.

Re:Unexpected Consequences

[Chiasmus_]

Yes.
But only 50% of the time.

Oh, well then this is simple.

In the future, your process for decoding your bank statements will work 50% of the time, but of course observing whether your bank statement has been decoded (by you) will completely undermine the decoding process.

Therefore, you will receive your bank statements in the mail, and you can leave them unopened and mathematically consider them 50% decoded.

Re:Entangled Photons

[Professr3]

Well, first I'd like to secure a small loan to fly to the Bahamas... and then I'll let you know :)

Re:Unexpected Consequences

[turnstyle]

"Yes, but... what will I now need to decode my bank statements?"

Easy! The Quantum Improbability Engine.

Bank transfer?

[Maljin Jolt]

first Bank Transfer via Quantum Cryptography Based on Entangled Photons

I would expect transfering some data would be pretty ok, but they entangled and transfered a bank? Unbelievable. Did some bank office clerks survive their quantum encryption?

Re:Heisenberger

[mikeboone]

Mmmm...Heisen-burger.

Re:But...

[bfg9000]

Sounds like a glitch in the Matrix.

Unwanted side effect...

[chinton]

Don't look to closely at your account balances, lest they become more uncertain.

Au contraire

[InvaderSkooge]

The more money being transferred, the greater the uncertainty of the momentum of the money (for the same velocity), the more certain we'll be who has it.

This principle is generally true in classical economic transfers as well: Bill Gates keeps having lots of money, but I only sometimes have money; I know I owe lots of money to my bank for student loans, but I only have a suspicion that my friend owes me 50 cents.

What A Feeling

[FrankDrebin]

It will be cool one day, imagining that for a brief moment, the photons, being in a superposition of states, *could* be transferring all the known wealth of the universe to my bank account. Sadly, when observed, minus service fees, it's probably only like a buck-fifty.

Uncertainty + international bank transfers?.

[Shoten]

Now someone can be both Miriam Abacha AND Sese-Seko in their 419 scams at the same time!

Re:Due to the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle...

[Anonymous Coward]

I think THAT could only happen if their systems were powered by improbability drive...

The late 19th century called...

[Anonymous Coward]

They want their disproven 'ether' theory back.

Re:Unfortunately...

[Frank T. Lofaro Jr.]

So you check your Wells Fargo balance by phone too I see? :)

($2 fee for phone banking)