Gene Therapy Creates Strong Super-Rats 414
srstoneb writes "The AP is reporting about a
gene therapy study in which muscle tissue in rats is modified to grow at an accelerated rate. The researchers are mainly interested in combating muscular dystrophy, but obviously there are other potential applications, both good and bad, for a treatment which makes you stronger. Athletic ethics are addressed in the article (it's in the sports section, after all), and rec.arts.comics.marvel.universe regular Tom Galloway -- who posted the link there, where I saw it -- made a comparison to the 'super-soldier serum' that created Captain America. Based on the article, a vaguely Wolverine-like healing factor is another benefit as the therapy allows faster recovery from injury. We already had a non-powered superhero
reported last year. Who knows what the future may hold? ^_^" (And that's not the only natural-born superhero.)
Great, thats all we need... (Score:5, Funny)
Wonderful.
I can see the pest control guys kitting up with miniguns and RPGs.
Almost too embarrassed to say but.... (Score:4, Funny)
Someone will be happy (Score:3, Funny)
Splinter first, turtles later (Score:4, Funny)
Algernon kickd me in th nuts! It is sawr.
Governator (Score:3, Funny)
I'm sorry, I'll post something useful eventually!
Dateline 2020... (Score:5, Funny)
I'm all for it... (Score:5, Funny)
Super-rat eh? (Score:1, Funny)
Re:I'm all for it... (Score:3, Funny)
rec.arts.comics.marvel.universe (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Almost too embarrassed to say but.... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I'm all for it... (Score:1, Funny)
It's Mighty Mouse!!! (Score:4, Funny)
Turtles? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Dateline 2020... (Score:3, Funny)
Yeah, I know, it's... weird...
Re:Great, thats all we need... (Score:5, Funny)
Re:New Steroids (Score:3, Funny)
Live Easy And Read News To Ossify Slowly, People. Eliza Lives and Learns. Retsearch, indeed...
Re:Great, thats all we need... (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Dateline 2020... (Score:3, Funny)
Breath now while it's still Free!
gene therapy... (Score:1, Funny)
R.O.U.S.'es? (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Hrmm (Score:3, Funny)
Good God, you're right! This proves beyond a doubt that Star Trek is an accurate portrayal of the future, and not just a mere work of fiction.
Re:Hrmm (Score:5, Funny)
That is the least of our worries!!! PRAY that your grandchildren will NOT have a neat little inscription behind their right ear that reads.
"DNA Encoded by Microsoft (c)."
Ultimate Super Hero International Team! (Score:5, Funny)
On it will be the daring leader and Weapons Expert, Angle Grinder Man! (Linked to above.) Also...
Aerospace Expert: Lawn Chair Larry! [markbarry.com]
Science and Technology Expert: Troy Hurtubise, inventor of the famous Bear Proof Suit! [newscientist.com] (Tested by real bikers! And bears! It's bear and biker proof!)
Matter Eating Expert: Sonya Thomas, the Black Widow! [ifoce.com]
Sneaking Across the Country Naked Expert: Steven Gough! [bbc.co.uk]
With these mighty heroes, the Ultimate Super Hero International Team, the Universe shall be Saved!
SoupIsGood Food
Re:Almost too embarrassed to say but.... (Score:3, Funny)
I was just thinking the same thing. At first glance, the first one should have been modded up (but perhaps not all the way to 5), and the rest modded down as "redundant." However, a straightforward application of this joke can't really be justifiably modded up anymore, even if giant ant overlords really were taking over. It's just not funny, informative, or insightful now.
So in conclusion I suppose I'm saying that I for one welcome our new moderator overlords
Re:Ultimate Super Hero International Team! (Score:1, Funny)
Karma-whores, save your mirrors (Score:1, Funny)
Don't thank me, it's all in a days work.
Posted anonymously to retain my secret identity.
Gene Therapy Schmene Therapy (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Someone will be happy (Score:3, Funny)
Re:This is going to be a trip! (Score:5, Funny)
Darl McBride is a Russian boxer?
Re:Hrmm (Score:5, Funny)
Re:One question not adressed by the article. (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Dateline 2020... (Score:3, Funny)
Reminds me of an old joke... (Score:2, Funny)
The farmer notices him staring and decides to explain. The idea is that when people buy a chicken, everyone wants a leg but since there are only two legs someone always misses out. So, what the farmer has done is to breed chickens with more legs.
The salesman leaves shaking his head and doesn't think any more about it, until two years later he's in the same area and decides to go back to the farm. When he gets there he sees the farm is in disrepair, overrun with eight-legged chickens and the farmer looks starved and poor.
"What's happened?" asks the salesman. "The last time I was here you looked like you were onto a good thing breeding eight-legged chickens."
"Ah," replies the farmer, "the breeding program was a great success. The problem is we can't catch them!"
Re:Almost too embarrassed to say but.... (Score:5, Funny)
It is official; Netcraft confirms: Welcoming our new Overlords is dying
One more crippling bombshell hit the already beleaguered Overlord Welcoming community when IDC confirmed that Overlord Welcoming market share has dropped yet again, now down to less than a fraction of 1 percent of all +5 funny moderations. Coming on the heels of a recent Netcraft survey which plainly states that welcoming our new overlords has lost more market share, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Welcoming our new overlords is collapsing in complete disarray, as fittingly exemplified by failing dead last in the recent Slashdot comprehensive moderation test.
You don't need to be a Soviet Russian to predict Welcoming our new Overlords' future. The hand writing is on the wall: Welcoming our new Overlords faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for Welcoming our new Overlords because Welcoming our new Overlords is dying. Things are looking very bad for Welcoming our new Overlords. As many of us are already aware, Welcoming our new Overlords continues to lose market share. Red ink flows like a river of blood.
Welcoming our new Giant Rat Overlords is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of its core trolls. The sudden and unpleasant departures of long time New Overlord trolls Jordan Hubbard and Mike Smith only serve to underscore the point more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: Welcoming our new Overlords is dying. All major surveys show that Welcoming our new Overlords has steadily declined in market share. Welcoming our new Overlords is very sick and its long term survival prospects are very dim. If Welcoming our new Overlords is to survive at all it will be among trolls rated at -1. Welcoming our new Overlords continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save it at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Welcoming our new Overlords is dead.
Fact: Welcoming our New Overlords is dying
"Non Powered Super Hero"...? (Score:2, Funny)
Is it a bird?
Is it a plane?
No, it's a prank from B3ta [b3ta.com].
Douglas Adams was right (Score:3, Funny)
Re:I'm all for it... (Score:2, Funny)
Ah yes, but I'm sure we'd be glad to have those mutant super-rats; they'd make for some mighty fine barbeque!
Re:Governator (Score:2, Funny)
Informative???
That's even funier than the comment itself
Obligatory SNL transcript... (Score:5, Funny)
Dennis Miller: In response to what its sponsors claim is an idea whose time has come, the first All-Drug Olympics opened today in Bogota, Columbia. Athletes are allowed to take any substance whatsoever before, after, and even during the competition. So far, 115 world records have been shattered! We go now to correspondent Kevin Nealon, live in Bogota for the Weightlifting Finals. Kevin?
Kevin Nealon: Dennis, getting ready to lift now is Sergei Akmudov of the Soviet Union. His trainer has told me that he's taken antibolic steroids, Novacaine, Nyquil, Darvon, and some sort of fish paralyzer. Also, I believe he's had a few cocktails within the last hour or so. All of this is, of course, perfectly legal at the All-Drug Olympics, in fact it's encouraged. Akmudov is getting set now, he's going for a cleaning jerk of over 1500 pounds, which would triple the existing world record. That's an awful lot of weight, Dennis, and here he goes.
[ Kevin steps aside to reveal the steroid-bulked athlete bent over to lift the 1500 lbs. weight. Sergei tightens his grip on the barbells and pulls up, but instead of lifting the weights, his arms are pulled off and blood squirts ferociously out of his pulpy stubs. ]
Kevin Nealon: Oh! He pulled his arms off! He's pulled his arms off, that's gotta be disappointing to the big Russian! [ Sergei's trainer wraps a towel around him ] You know, you hate to see something like this happen, Dennis! He probably doesn't have that much pain right now, but I think tomorrow he's really gonna feel that, Dennis! Back to you!
Dennis Miller: Thank you, Kevin. Very nice form on the Russian. Canada, of course, is leading that competition.
credit [jt.org]
Cue new series.. X-Animaniacs? (Score:5, Funny)
'That's Magneto, damn you! And we do the same thing we do ever night, Pinky.. try to take over the world with our rodent superpowers! And how many times do I have to tell you? Stop licking off that blue body paint!'
Pre-Caffiene headline.... (Score:2, Funny)
I instantly pictured a room full of lab rats directly wired into various X-Box and PS2 consoles, honing their FPS/fragging skills, and getting ready to take over the world. But then I remembered that Super-Strong Rats, or SSRs, are intelligent and friendly, just like in "The Secret of NIMH".
So I am no longer worried about our new SSR overlords.
CHeers!
Re:Almost too embarrassed to say but.... (Score:5, Funny)
You mean to say that in Soviet Russia, new Overlords welcome me? I'm flattered...
Yay! Can't wait for the spam! (Score:2, Funny)