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Physics it the science to end all science.
Yes it is chemistry, but it is physics, too.

Of course. Psychology, for instance, is wrapped-up physics, too. But when was the last time you heard someone refer to a psychology joke as a physics joke?

Wanted: Dead AND Alive
This is impossible. In order to be found the cat must first be observed, but this would bring the cat's wave function immediately into one of the eigenstates, either dead OR alive.

Not funny? I don't think you understand the GRAVITY of the remark you just made! Didn't you think of the FRICTION a remark like that could cause? I think you have failed to see the POTENTIAL for humor in physics -- it's a great VECTOR for wit.

while this is a humorous twist to an old joke, there is an element of truth here. Next you happen to use the bathroom with an experimental chemist, observe the first thing that they do is wash their hands. Becuase the last thing you want is something like highly concentrated acids|bases|toxic wastes doing their worst on the family jewels.