ISS Fender Bender

wjsteele writes "Seems that the Space Station has had a minor fender bender. Sounds kind of scary... being in a space craft and hearing metal crunching (like an aluminum can.) Apparently some 'Minor' space debris struck the station around 2:30am this morning, while the astronauts were eating their wheaties." Update: 11/27 16:31 GMT by M : Looks like an experiment may be to blame.

2:30 AM, eh?

[gowen]

Glad you included that, because times of day -- especially those lacking any sort of timezone information -- are extremely useful when referring to events that take place in space.

False Alarm

[thelizman]

It was just the aluminum foil on the stations main antenna.

Oh boy

[EulerX07]

Their insurance are gonna go up now, I hope they had comprehensive...

Oh, I know what this is...

[Anonymous Coward]

Micheal Foale's got one of those sound effect key fobs.

Instead of the usual Grenade Launcher, Bazooka, Machine Gun noises, the new space version comes with 'crunching metal tin', 'airlock hiss' and 'oops, we lost a solar panel' noises...

Nice one Michael!

2:30 AM, eh?

[Anonymous Coward]

Doing what, pray tell? Eating their Wheaties or sucking each others dicks...? Hmmmmm?

Re:Space Junk

[Patrik_AKA_RedX]

Or alternatively a chain gang inmates to pick up the trash in orbit...

An then they say crime doesn't pay. I mean, rob a bank, hide the money, turn yourself in and get a free trip in space! No need for years of hard study and training!

Re:Minor?

[Psiren]

There's no jumping off this one.

Sure there is. It's just a long way down... ;)

You knew it was coming!

[Txiasaeia]

Did anybody else read the title and think "Bite my shiny metal space station ass?"

Some serious analysis required

[heironymouscoward]

The scene... a silently rusting space station, somewhere in near Earth orbit.

"Honey,..."

"Yeah?"

"... I think I crashed the space station"

"WHAT?!!"

"Look, it wasn't my fault. Some space junk came out without stopping and I ran right into it!"

"Honey, baby, how often have I told you, DON'T DRIVE MY SPACE STATION. Sorry, I got a little emotional there."

"We're insured, aren't we?"

"Not over international territory. Right now we're about over Afghanistan. No coverage."

"I'm so sorry, I'll make it right..."

"OK, suit up, we're going out"

"No, I meant I'll bake some cookies"

"OK, get me a beer while you're at it."

Re:Uhh

[Anonymous Coward]

and aliens

You mean there are Europeans up there?

I'll thank you

[Timesprout]

Not to refer to my secret orbiting battle station from which I intend to launch my bid for world domination as 'debris'

Re:Anyone know...

[Anonymous Coward]

I don't reply to Anonymous Cowards

Right...

For the space newbies

[suds]

Space junk, half the size of the little finger nail has hit the International Space Station (of size approximately 20 VW beetles) today morning at 2.30am precisely. The junk was moving at a 1000 times the speed of a jumbo jet, and if hit head on could create a crater 0.0034 times the size of Philadelphia.

Why didn't they just...

[riggwelter]

...raise shields?!

Later on that day...

[Anonymous Coward]

...they discover that a six pack of beer has been stowed away in the bathroom. And one can is missing...

Filmmaker David Cronenberg Arrested In Space

[Saint Aardvark]

INTERNATIONAL SPACE STATION -- Canadian filmmaker David Cronenberg was arrested today over 700 miles above the Earth's surface when he was found filming scenes for a sequel to his controversial film, Crash, a movie about sexual attraction to car crashes.

Cronenberg, who had not obtained permission to film from the American or Russian space agencies, was found outside the International Space Station by astronauts after they were awoken by what sounded like "a car being crashed". Upon investigation, the astronauts found Cronenberg discussing the result of a take with actor Elias Koteas and giving direction for the next.

"I can't believe he did this," said cosmonaut Alexander Kaleri from the space station. "This is not a movie studio."

The arrest comes only six months after Cronenberg announced that he was entering the X-Prize Contest, which promises an award of $10,000,000 US to the first privately-owned reusable spacecraft. Outside of a few die-hard fans of the director's work, no one had taken Cronenberg's entrace seriously.

"This really fucks things up for me," said John Carmack, the odds-on favourite in the contest. "If he posts bail and gets back up in space, then he wins the prize. I never knew he was this far ahead."

Cronenberg is being held in a washroom on the International Space Station pending a routine Soyuz supply flight. Sources at NASA say that it's possible he could be formally booked and bail set within as little as six days, giving him plenty of time to fulfill the X-Prize conditions.

Open-source programmer Richard Stallman could not be reached for comment, but sources close to the computing guru said he had been collaborating with Cronenberg for some time. "He was one of the paramedics in the first Crash," said a friend. "I think Cronenberg's making him a meteorite or something in this one."

Re:Fender Bender ?

[AllUsernamesAreGone]

Obviously it has to be aliens doing knock-and-run.

Video footage from external cameras reveals...

[Channard]

'... a vaguely humanoid yet strangely reflective skinned figure placing a satellite dish and assorted space station parts into his torso before flying away in a strange shaped craft. Sound cleanup of the noise has revealed the mysterious but still slightly distorted message '.ou ca... bit... my shiny... etal... ass' Could this be the first evidence of an alien intelligence in the universe.?'

Re:Why didn't they just...

[isorox]

Nah, in this day and age you just polarise the hull plating

Is it making a comeback?

[tgeerts]

I hope they did not spill any Tang [kraft.com].

Gender Bender ?

[ciryon]

Perhaps it was the Gender Bender [gotfuturama.com] ?

Ciryon

Fender bender?

[Anonymous Coward]

I didn't know space stations have fenders. That is about as dumb as putting wings on a space ship. Wait... Nevermind.

When I first saw that headline...

[MadAnthony02]

I thought it said IIS fender bender. I was trying to figure out why the space station was running IIS, and figured this was another microsoft-bashing article.

Re:Space Junk

[lgftsa]

And secondly, what are Americons?

I think they're a splinter group of Destructicons [seibertron.com] which had some philosophical differences with Megatron [geocities.com]. They've been having some trouble with Terrorcons [geocities.com] lately.

Re:Oh, I know what this is...

[pipingguy]

Homer: Boy, I know you're going to like your present.

[it's a hand-held gizmo with three buttons, Bart presses each button a few times]

Toy: Shut up! Shut up! Kiss my butt! Shut up! Go to hell! Go to hell!

Bart: Dad, I promise you, I will never get tired of this.