NASA Debates How And When To Kill Hubble Telescope

Amy's Robot writes "The Washington Post reports that after 13 years of wear and tear, the Hubble telescope may be on the way out. NASA and some outside scientists have become involved in a heated debate about how and when to end the Hubble telescope program. Keeping Hubble in service until 2020 would require an extra maintenance visit by astronauts at a cost of at least $600 million. Some even worry the batteries could fail by 2010, since the next maintenance visit has been delayed by the Columbia accident and space station priorities. Is it worth maintaining our old friend Hubble, or should NASA let him go out in a blaze of glory?"

I already know..

[grub]

"How And When To Kill Hubble"

Professor Plum will use the candlestick in the library next Tuesday.

Two birds, One stone

[Fux the Penguin]

First, I'll preface my comments by stating that I think the Hubble Space Telescope has been a fantastic boon to science. It has allowed us to peer farther out in space, and farther back in time, than we ever thought possible. This has helped increase not only scientific awareness among the public, but also helped push for greater funding for space-related enterprises in Congress. After all, there's nothing like a picture of a quasar, burning brightly as it streaks around the sun, to hypnotize a mentally deficient Senator into loosening the purse strings.

That said, I think the government has been spending far too much money on the telescope over the past few years. Sure, at first it was cheap and easy, and the "oooh's" and "aaahhh's" of delighted schoolchildren certainly help drown out the cacophony of "this costs HOW much?!" cries from whistle-blowing dog washers. So, perhaps, then it's time to make this enterprise profitable! I've been hearing a lot about space tourism, and I think this could be just the ticket to turn this failing boondoggle around.

How much do you think Lance Bass, Kenny Blankenship, or Julie Ahoolian would pay to travel to space to look through the telescope with their own eyes? I'd imagine quit a bit! Then, they could even turn the telescope around, and use it to peer back at our own home, Mother Earth. I bet you could see your house from up there! The only thing that worries me is that they may use it as a sun-focusing death ray to burn up enormous swaths of our fair countryside. However, that is a small price to pay to keep the Hubble up and flying, and to please celebrities.

The funds from this, of course, will pay to maintain the telescope. Also, keep in mind now that China dominates the skies, maintenance on the telescope could be outsourced to cheap Chinese immigrant labor. This seems like a win-win-win for all concerned, and I encourage you all to write your congress-people, and tell them, with one clear voice, "Keep our Space Microscope Accessible to Celebrities with Chinese Coolie Labor!"

Attach it to

[Anonymous Coward]

the ISS, so they can look at all the pretty wimmins here on earth.

Re:I already know..

[McAddress]

i would propose using kill -9.

Re:Hubble Slide Show

[MindStalker]

Great slide show, but can someone please slow it down, I'm about to hurl.

Re:Must die?

[Captain Poopypants]

can ensure they will land in the ocean somewhere

I thought they were going to crash it into Jupiter to avoid contaminating Earth with its plutonium core? I'm quite sure I read it somewhere.

Best troll in a long time

[rarose]

The hubble is powerful enough it could probably even see you hiding under your bridge waiting to catch innocent newbies passing about your wee little head.

another Taco Bell target?

[roxy-skya]

Do you think Taco Bell might set up another target for it to hit. Then the world could get free Chalupas...

We already know how it will end... [humor]

[RomSteady]

Anyone who has seen Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie knows how this will end...

"Mike killed the Hubble! Mike killed the Hubble!"

EBay?

[phrostie]

rather than putting it into the Atmosphere, why not put it up on Ebay.

one deep space telescope. has seen where no man has seen before.
used, with millions of miles. as is, where is.

been refurbed a few times but will let go to
good new home. procedes will go to new programs.

Easy Solutions(TM) by teamhasnoi!

[teamhasnoi]

Give it a porn mag, it will go blind in no time.

Crash it into the moon - we can then finally see if that flag is up there.

Send some elementary school kids up there. If they don't destroy it by doing the monkey bars on its delicate superstructure, they'll hasten its suicide by circling it and chanting, "One Eye, Got One Eye, One Eye, Got One Eye!"

Ask it what time it is, then when it looks at its wrist, hit it with a hammer.

Rename it Old Yeller. Dad'll put it down, while you weep into your dusty wool shirt.

Just put a Democrat on it! It will be sure to 'mysteriously' crash, probably in a wooded area full of hippies.

Re:Two birds, One stone

[AnonymousNoMore]

I like the idea of launching Lance Bass into space.

Re:Must die?

[calethix]

I guess they don't know how the equation works.
x = cost of property damage when Hubble crashes + lawsuits from surviving relatives
y = cost of 'recalling' Hubble
If x is less than y, we don't do it.

Mod parent down, please.

[HyperLemur]

This guy is talking through his hat. If anything would cause Chinese immigrant laborers to organize and demand overtime, it would be continuous bombardment with deadly high-energy cosmic rays. Just wouldn't be cost-effective.

I've got it...

[bkc98]

If we learned anything from the movie 'Independence Day', we know that any spacecraft can be brought down by a virus. So NASA should just fire up the 'ol Powerbook and upload a virus to bring down Hubble. Problem solved.

Re:We already know how it will end... [humor]

[LocutusMIT]

Good night, sweet Hubble. And a flight of angels sing thee to thy rest.

Re:For the time being.

[BoomerSooner]

Radio galaxies rule! Just as long as the RIAA doesn't hear they are operating without a license.

Re:I already know..

[kill -9 $$]

well fine, somebody give me directions to the library and where I can get said candlestick and I'll take care of it...

Re:This may be...

[Danse]

"Sorry Bob, but we're still a little too heavy for reentry. You're gonna have to get out and wait for the next shuttle...

Re:E-bay...

[Anonymous Coward]

Great now we have E-Bay employees astro-turfing. This place has gone to hell.

Re:Here's an idea...

[AnswerIs42]

Here is a better idea [userfriendly.org].

Re:EBay?

[bencc99]

buyer collects?

Re:I already know..

[McAddress]

why bother? it would probably forget to convert to metric anyway.

Re:Two birds, One stone

[ThePlumber2]

We could outsource the call center to India! win win win win

Re:Must die?

[fenix down]

Indeed! Imagine what detail we'd get moving the lens 0.00000000000000000000000000001% closer to that nebula! And for just $100 billion worth of fuel, booster technology, spacewalks and supply launches! You'd have to be a fool not to jump at that chance!

Sell it to the DOD

[automatic_jack]

Maybe they need another spy satellite.

Or, they could use it as an offensive weapon. Focus the rays of the sun and fry cities!

Or perhaps they could use it for some kind of solar collector/intesifier to provide power?

Topless Beaches

[Ranger]

I think they should rent time to male college students to look into female student dorm windows or to look down on nude or topless beaches. Imagine the resolution? They'd certainly raise enough cash to keep Hubble going for at least another decade. They could use paypal. Instead of calling it Hubble Space Telescope they could call it the Hubba Hubba Nudiescope!

Re:I already know..

[Breakfast Pants]

I resent your sig.