Hackers On Atkins 918
`Sean writes "Salon.com has published a story about Hackers on Atkins. Although going on a diet is the last thing on the minds of the stereotypical geek basking in the ambient radiation of multiple monitors for 15 hours per day, many hackers have been embracing Atkins because utilizing low-carb methods to modify the metabolism is analogous to hacking and overclocking the body. Others have been combining Atkins with other systems, such as John Walker's The Hacker's Diet. I've personally lost a hundred pounds so far and will toss in the obligatory if I can do it, anyone can ism."
Comment removed (Score:1, Funny)
What will happen? (Score:5, Funny)
convenient for hackers (Score:4, Funny)
Three word's on Atkins that says it all: (Score:2, Funny)
Re:bad idea... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Typical Geeks (Score:2, Funny)
The vitamin deficiencies, I have no answer to. We'll just have to hope that some day modern medicine will find a way to package multiple vitamins into some type of pill form.
Re:What about the dangers? (Score:4, Funny)
From what I've heard.
Programmer's Diet Plan (Score:5, Funny)
Plan:
Busy, busy, busy workin' on Quake2. I wish I could tell you about it, but I can't.
For now, I'll introduce "the Cash diet" to the world. I'd never really formalized my secret diet before, but the guys and girls (w00p) in my clan dragged it out of me one night. So here it is. [drumroll]
The Cash Diet Plan
==================
What to eat:
Red meat
Lots of it. Cooked rare or medium rare.
Burgers, steaks, meatballs.. whatever.
No steak sauce, but gravy or juice is good.
Fried stuff:
Mainly potato chips and french fries.
Not those lame baked ones; real ones with
salt and oil and fat (and flavor) and maybe
bbq, vinegar, or something hot/spicy.
Dessert
Good stuff, not that low fat/low calorie crap.
Whipped cream is a definite plus. Important
note: you are not restricted to only one.
Feel free to start out with a dessert as a
pre-appetizer appetizer.
Appetizers
Loaded nachos, Buffalo wings, Onion rings.
What to drink:
Non-diet soft drinks (preferably with high
levels of caffeine)
Real beer
Snacks:
Yes, of course. Anytime you want. I find
a snack to be good right before or right
after exercising. Contrary to what you might
be thinking, fruit is actually OK as a snack...
as long as you "wash it down" with a candy bar.
Exercise:
Hey, what kind of diet doesn't include exercise?
This is the key to my diet. There is only one
exercise that is aerobic, burns lots of calories,
and you'll actually enjoy doing. As an added
bonus it can be singles, couples, or even teams.
I'm talking, of course, about good old fashioned
sex. The more the better (but take it easy when
working out alone!) BTW, here's where that
whipped cream on the desserts can come in handy.
There you have it. I think it'll catch on.. I mean,
what is there not to like?
So, I hear you thinking: sounds great, but does it really work? Well, it does for me. I'm 5'10" and
weigh 125 pounds. I eat what I want, when I want, and "work out" as often as possible (w00p!!!)
Warning: There is one possible side effect of this diet... ummm... I have two of 'em... both boys So practice safe dieting.
Try the Drinking Man's Diet (Score:3, Funny)
It came from a book I was loaned.
It's really terrific and quite scientific
And I'm half stoned.
For breakfast some cornflakes and vodka,
But cornflakes have carbohydrate;
So I don't eat those fattening cornflakes,
I eat the vodka straight.
Drink, drink, everyone drink;
It's not as bad as we used to think.
With every Manhattan your stomach will flatten,
So drink, drink, drink.
The Air Force invented this diet,
A fact which they hotly deny.
Of course they deny it, 'cause this is the diet
That got the Air Force high.
For lunch you can have three martinis,
What better lunch is there than that?
But caution: do not eat the olives,
'Cause olives make you fat.
Drink, drink, everyone drink;
It's not as bad as we used to think.
If pounds you would burn off, then turn on your Smirnoff,
And drink, drink, drink.
For dinner, a nice Scotch and soda
Now that oughtta help you to lose.
No whipped cream, no butter, just lay in the gutter
And booze, booze, booze.
Suppose you should meet a policeman,
Who says you've been quenching your thirst;
You just tell him it's physical fitness
And health comes first!
Drink (hic!), drink (hic!), booze everywhere (hic!);
Pass that decanter of bourbon there.
I'm fatter than ever, but here's what's so clever:
I don't care!
-- Allan Sherman
Re:What will happen? (Score:4, Funny)
Re:What will happen? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What about the dangers? (Score:2, Funny)
Pot. Kettle. Black.
Cannot eat meat alone (Score:2, Funny)
Good Lord, only true barbarians would attempt such a sin against centuries-old customs and traditions!
Don't try that at this side of the Ocean, children.
not quite (Score:4, Funny)
No. That is the hardest diet ever.
As Steve Martin once quipped, "I'd do anything to look beautiful - except eat right and exercise more."
"It Doesn't Work..." (Score:2, Funny)
When I told them that I was on the Atkins plan, the first response was always the same:
"Oh, that doesn't work."
Re:What will happen? (Score:3, Funny)
Dilbert already covered this... [autistici.org] :)
Re:Three word's on Atkins that says it all: (Score:3, Funny)
Atkins died because he fell on some ice, hit his head, and had a brain aneurysm.
Maybe he fell because his blood sugar was too low, and he blacked out. Maybe if he'd only had a Snickers bar beforehand, he'd still be alive today, still collecting mega-royalties from all those diet books.
Re:Screw Atkins, go Vegan (Score:3, Funny)
That's probably the reason right there, nothing to do with being a vegan. Everybody tends to need less sleep as they get older.
Me, I figure I didn't spend three billion years climbing to the top of the food chain to just eat vegetables. How much intelligence does it take to sneak up on a leaf anyway?
Re:What about the dangers? (Score:1, Funny)
Re:What will happen? (Score:3, Funny)
I still prefer the Jack Daniels diet (Score:2, Funny)