Sci-Fi Channel Looks for LGM in NASA Files

SharkJumper writes "The Sci-Fi channel expects to file a lawsuit within the week against NASA. They are attempting to gain access under the Freedom of Information Act to classified documents concerning a 1965 UFO sighting in Kecksburg, Pennsylvania. The Department of Defense, Army, and Air Force are next on their list. Here's Sci-Fi's account of the story."

Well, this is obvious.

[Prince_Ali]

Can anyone say "publicity stunt?"

Sure, I knew ya could.

Coincidental Developments

[tintruder]

Interesting how companies with close ties to the DOD came up with advanced integrated circuits so soon afterwards. When was Intel founded?

Re:Classified Documents

[DarkBlackFox]

I'd like to sue you for your social security and credit card numbers under the freedom of information act.

Keeps them busy...

[mseeger]

Fine! This keeps NASA, Pentagon and investigative journalists busy while i work on mind controlling the remaining earthlings....

Sending mental command: Mod up!

Re:Coincidental Developments

[JUSTONEMORELATTE]

Interesting how companies with close ties to the DOD came up with advanced integrated circuits so soon afterwards. When was Intel founded?

Don't forget microwave ovens. Oh, and ethernet, cell phones, cruise control and a bunch of other stuff that's hard to understand.
Simple rule of thumb: If I can't understand it, it must have come from aliens.

I'm not so sure about non-dairy creamer. Does that mean it's really aliens that have been dehydrated and ground to dust?

--

They're Made Out Of Meat

[GillBates0]

Imagine if you will ..the leader of the fifth invader force speaking to the commander in chief...

"They're made out of meat."
"Meat?"
"Meat. They're made out of meat."
"Meat?"
"There's no doubt about it. We picked several from different parts of the planet, took them aboard our recon vessels, probed them all the way through. They're completely meat."
"That's impossible. What about the radio signals? The messages to the stars?"
"They use the radio waves to talk, but the signals don't come from them. The signals come from machines."
"So who made the machines? That's who we want to contact."
"They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines."
"That's ridiculous. How can meat make a machine? You're asking me to believe in sentient meat."

"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you. These creatures are the only sentient race in the sector and they're made out of meat."

"Maybe they're like the Orfolei. You know, a carbon-based intelligence that goes through a meat stage."

"Nope. They're born meat and they die meat. We studied them for several of their life spans, which didn't take too long. Do you have any idea the life span of meat?"

"Spare me. Okay, maybe they're only part meat. You know, like the Weddilei. A meat head with an electron plasma brain inside."

"Nope. We thought of that, since they do have meat heads like the Weddilei. But I told you, we probed them. They're meat all the way through."

"No brain?"

"Oh, there is a brain all right. It's just that the brain is made out of meat!"

"So... what does the thinking?"

"You're not understanding, are you? The brain does the thinking. The meat."

"Thinking meat! You're asking me to believe in thinking meat!"

"Yes, thinking meat! Conscious meat! Loving meat. Dreaming meat. The meat is the whole deal! Are you getting the picture?"

"Omigod. You're serious then. They're made out of meat."

"Finally, Yes. They are indeed made out meat. And they've been trying to get in touch with us for almost a hundred of their years."

"So what does the meat have in mind?"

"First it wants to talk to us. Then I imagine it wants to explore the universe, contact other sentients, swap ideas and information. The usual."

"We're supposed to talk to meat?"

"That's the idea. That's the message they're sending out by radio. 'Hello. Anyone out there? Anyone home?' That sort of thing."

"They actually do talk, then. They use words, ideas, concepts?"

"Oh, yes. Except they do it with meat."

"I thought you just told me they used radio."

"They do, but what do you think is on the radio? Meat sounds. You know how when you slap or flap meat it makes a noise? They talk by flapping their meat at each other. They can even sing by squirting air through their meat."

"Omigod. Singing meat. This is altogether too much. So what do you advise?"

"Officially or unofficially?"

"Both."

"Officially, we are required to contact, welcome, and log in any and all sentient races or multibeings in the quadrant, without prejudice, fear, or favor. Unofficially, I advise that we erase the records and forget the whole thing."

"I was hoping you would say that."

"It seems harsh, but there is a limit. Do we really want to make contact with meat?"

"I agree one hundred percent. What's there to say?" `Hello, meat. How's it going?' But will this work? How many planets are we dealing with here?"

"Just one. They can travel to other planets in special meat containers, but they can't live on them. And being meat, they only travel through C space. Which limits them to the speed of light and makes the possibility of their ever making contact pretty slim. Infinitesimal, in fact."

"So we just pretend there's no one home in the universe."

"That's it."

"Cruel. But you said it yourself, who wants to meet meat? And the ones who have

It will settle the matter once and for all!

[Hoi Polloi]

I whole-heartedly support the Sci-Fi channel's efforts. It will finally settle the question, "Are the people obsessed with UFOs a bunch of paranoid pseudoscientific jackasses?"

What if they find something?

[moehoward]

What if they find something? Will they have to change their network name to the SciFact channel? Seems like they're digging their own grave!

Re:Sounds familiar

[MoxCamel]

The only industry when I was there was a Pepsi bottling plant. That shut down and was converted later into an aluminum camper manufacturing plant.

Aluminum camper manufacturing plant? Ha! More like cover for an alien observation outpost. The aluminum keeps the Pentagon from using gravity-free laser beams [slashdot.org] on them. Sneaky bastards!

Re:LGM

[selfabuse]

Now, I'm guessing the 'like my penis' part is what got this moderated as a troll, but I found it very useful, as I had no freakin' idea what LGM stood for.

Kecksburg, PA

[the_mad_poster]

I live in the general vicinity of Kecksburg, PA. I can tell you with all certainty that any "UFO" sighting was certainly brought on by a combination of swamp gases, moonshine, and unchecked, rampant coitus among close family members named "Clem" and "Darlita" through several generations...

Give up on the Little Green Men Sci-Fi!

[Teahouse]

Reality is relatively! I am convinced most UFO sightings are just government "projects" gone wrong. No one travels at the speed of light or faster to visit earth just to crash into the ground. "I can do light-speed but I can't figure out aerodynamic flight!" What a bunch of crap. There are no aliens except for the little brown men that keep crossing our border from Mexico. Get over it.

IF (a big if) there are LGM's visiting us, they obviously have done a good job of hiding it. Sci-Fi is not the paragon of virtue to sniff this one out.

Re:Coincidental Developments

[turgid]

Well, you know what intel stands for, don't you? INTergalactic ELectronics.

The Text of the Lawsuit

[Uhlek]

WHEREAS,
We cancelled the critically acclaimed FARSCAPE.

WHEREAS,
We cancelled the critically acclaimed INVISIBLE MAN.

WHEREAS,
We cancelled the fan-adored THE CHRONICLE

WHEREAS,
We turned STARGATE SG-1 into total crap.

WHEREAS,
We did a crappy, low-budget version of DUNE.

WHEREAS
We replaced these shows with classics like TREMORS: THE SERIES and JOHN EDWARDS

WHEREAS,
We are about to rape the collective memories of classic sci-fi fans with our re-imaginging of BATTLESTAR: GALACTICA.

WE HEREBY
Attempt a really lame publicity stunt to try and appeal to the lowest common denominator of sci-fi fans there are: the UFO nuts.

Thank God Sci-Fi is getting involved

[Weaselmancer]

This finally lends UFO researchers that much-needed air of respectability they've been missing - to be championed by the same people who brought you John Edwards and Cleopatra 2525.

Weaselmancer

Puuuuh-lease....

[GeneralEmergency]

It's LGP you sexist insensitive clod!

.

Re:Sounds familiar

[Anonymous Coward]

Thank God the PA firemen knew English. Otherwise it would be:

"ON FIRE! I said ON FIRE! How the hell did you get this job if you can't speak any fucking English!!!!"

Re:Huh?

[balthan]

Never read Katz, huh?

Re:Classified Documents

[Haeleth]

If all you want is his credit card number, wouldn't it be cheaper to set up a fake pr0n site?

Re:Well, this is obvious.

[timeOday]

Let's say NASA came to the conclusion a UFO crashed there. Some people would not believe it. Some would think the revelation was a conspiracy. Many others would just grip their bibles and squeeze their eyes shut.

Is it just me, or does it seem odd to anyone else that the same people who believe that NASA faked the moon landing also believe that NASA is covering up actual evidence of a UFO?

They do? Or are "they" just a muddled conglomeration of people you don't like?

Re:Do they really expect to win?

[Anonymous Coward]

What the hell, I'll tell you. It's antigrav tech. It has to stay secret because the same physical principles can tap the quantum energy of the vacuum, making possible a backyard bomb that would crack the planet. Why do you think we don't have a viable space program? We're colonizing every planet in the interstellar neighborhood, NASA is a front with the sole purpose of convincing you all that space tech is way too expensive and risky to bother with. How else do you explain a launch system that costs $40,000 a pound? Start a real space program and sooner or later people are going to find the base on Titan, and start asking questions.

Posting AC, for obvious reasons...hey, what's that nois02hf0hah