Genetically Engineered Pets Hit the Market

psoriac writes "According to this article the Taiwanese Taikong Corporation is starting to sell "Night Pearls" - zebrafish that glow in different red and green patterns thanks to genes from jellyfish and marine coral. US sales are expected to follow."

"Finally...

[frieked]

...the world will know the glory of the five assed monkey." -Mephisto

How about this?

[Anonymous Coward]

Ever see the mouse with the human ear [google.com]? I'd like to see a guinea pig with a human vagina. And no teeth.

ya know what I think

[squarefish]

But the prospect of GM pets has outraged pet dealers.

Sounds like a PR problem.
Maybe they should hire Robert Novak [petswarehouse.com] to help their image- he lots of fish experience!

The killer app...

[supabeast!]

The first person to patent a dog that refuses to pee in the house will be gangbusters.

Don't be stupid!

[illuminata]

They just appear to be glowing in red and green patterns, if you fucking hippies would get off of the psychedellics you'd realize that they're not glowing at all!
Oh, wait, that's Phish, my bad.

Amazing

[spakka]

I didn't even know they'd made zebrafish yet, let alone coloured ones.

Re:Roll on the genetically engineered toys

[WTFmonkey]

I, also a member of PETA, am wondering how these fish taste.

BTW, that's the "People for the Eating of Tasty Animals".

this is nothing new...

[m00by]

the scottish have been "injecting" sheep with their genetic material for ages, sadly to no avail. some day though, the noble scots will have their sheepwomen!!!!!!!!! =D

Back in my day...

[xluserpetex]

we had to shove christmas lights down their throats to make them glow.

I know!

[RumpRoast]

Put them in clear glass balls and sell them as Christmas ornaments! They'll be all the rage.

Yeah, but...

[spumoni_fettuccini]

Can I get a frickin "laser" implanted in their heads?

Thank god

[Zildy]

Maybe this will prevent further Nemo incidents by making fish easier to find.

Re:this is nothing new...

[BigBadBri]

See you, ye southern baaaaaaa-stid!

We'll no have yer maligning our winter pastimes here!

Source Code

[AlgebraicSpore]

Does anyone have the source code for this so I can recompile the kernel of the zebra fish I bought the other day?

Re:"Finally...

[rmadmin]

Screw that, I want a Mog(tm) Monkey/Dog hybrid. Its "Mans best friend with arms"(c) All rights reserved, The drunk guys at a graduation party.

A dyslexics nightmare...

[Daeslin]

Playing God with Dog. Or was that the other way around...

Re:"Finally...

[Lazamataz]

I can't wait until they combine the genes from the Bombardier Beetle [ucsc.edu], the Firefly [vt.edu], and the Electric eel [hypertextbook.com].

Get the freakin' thing upset, and BOOOM.... bits of insect/fish dripping down your walls....

Re:"Finally...

[HowlinMad]

I'm sorry Mog is taken. Please see the movie Spaceballs. 1/2 Man + 1/2 Dog = Mog. John Candy played the role.

Not the first..

[xchino]

I read somewhere about a french artist who worked with a bioengineering company to produce a rabbit that glowed green (using jellyfish genes as well). There was some sort of scandal about him not getting to take it home to film it interacting as a family pet which was what the whole project was about in the first place.

I'd like to see a pic of these fish though, or some video. I have no problem with a genetically modified pet. In the future, maybe we can have tigers that get no bigger than house cats, or something cool like that. Or photosynthetic pets that you don't have to feed! Just stick them outside for a few hours!

Re:How about this?

[ScuzzyNutsThePirate]

I take it that you've never been to Kentucky?

Re:Roll on the genetically engineered toys

[Master Bait]

Give us another million years and we'll breed away the hair on the muff forever.

Re:Grass

[RumpRoast]

Also, some bushes (and houseplants) that don't die when you pee on them would be nice. Thanks!

Re:Roll on the genetically engineered toys

[parkanoid]

Are you trying to say that the vast majority of the human race has the intellegence of the bugblatter beast because geeks can't get laid? ;)

You can get it today

[hpulley]

It's called AstroTurf (TM).

Geeks and Bugblatters

[ites]

Nah, geeks get laid, it just takes them a while. The jocks get laid young, but they also die young in car accidents and gym showers. Yuck. We geeks invest in our brains, and kernel-hacking skills, then we get all the cute girls on the rebound. It's a strategy, like any other.

Business Plan

[nadsley]

1)Crossbread tomato with tobacco
2)Produce "tomacco"
3)...
4)Profit!

Now you really _can_ tune a fish!

[Tumbleweed]

"Nutritious and delicious, tastes just like chicken!"

Hey, maybe now we can have a live action Charlie Tuna!

Comparing the taste of these fish to natural fish is like comparing apples and oranges. Oh, wait, now we can have both at the same time!

So what colour synthahol goes with synthetic fish?

Will you have to do a blush response test to find out if your fish is a replicant or not? Calling Chef Harrison Ford!

Maybe now they can genegineer some fish that, even when uncooked, taste like cooked fish. Sushi for the not-so-discriminating palate.

Re:this is nothing new...

[ites]

Al nae ha ye slanderin ma naebal kith an kin li' tha!! Evryane noes tha al th' sheep buggerin' Campbells went tae New Zealand in tha 1850's. Git af ma fukin barrae, ye sassanach basteid!

Re:Bah!

[Lazamataz]

How would you clean it? That is without killing the fish when you depressurized it.

Crank your air conditioning way up high, hoping that it will pressurize your apartment?

Re:Ever read Dune?

[Anonymous Coward]

Then everyone will smell like wet dog ass.

Re:Bah!

[The_K4]

Just use really thick pressurized plastic bags to bring them home from the pet store :) he he he

Re:Back in my day...

[Anonymous Coward]

Christmas lights! Bah! You kids had it easy! In my day, if we wanted glowing fish, we had to dry them out and set them on fire!

We didn't have any o' these fancy cigarette lighters and strike-anywhere matches, mind you; if we wanted a fire, we had to start it the old-fashioned way, with elbow grease and two sticks... and we liked it!

Re:more than cool

[the_consumer]

I would sure like an allergen-free kitten.

Easy! Just remove the skin.

MyFish.com presents: "2Fish2Furious"

[Tumbleweed]

Okay, so now that it's possible, I want a neon orange fish with a big ass wing on the back, and 'VTEC' printed on the scales. Aww, yeah.

And Nitrous boost! Give those dolphins & sharks something to talk about at the water cooler on Monday.

Re:"Finally...

[jericho4.0]

Well, if I could lick my own genitals, I'd be my own best friend, too.

Well thats just great!

[st0rmshad0w]

Here I spend all this time perfecting my sychophant technique in preparation for our robot masters and it will more than likely be rendered moot when we're all killed off by mutant housepets gone wrong.

Why do I even bother.....

Re:this is nothing new...

[Anonymous Coward]

A man is hiking in New Zealand and comes apon a farmer. The farmer has one of he sheep with it's head through the fence and the farmer is slamming away.

The hiker says, "I've been hiking for quite a while and that looks pretty good. Mind if I have some?"

The farms says, "Go ahead."

So the hiker sticks his head through the fence. . .

Bonsai Kittens

[kni52]

Finally maybe there will be a cheaper mainstream version of the Bonsai Kitten [bonsaikitten.com]! I can't wait to get mine.

Re:How about this?

[bmorton]

Wow. I think that's the last time I'll ever eat while perusing Slashdot.

Re:Roll on the genetically engineered toys

[b-baggins]

Yeah. Heaven forbid a gene mutation makes it into the general population. The next thing you know, evolution might start taking place.

Re:The FUD never ceases to amaze

[Anonymous Coward]

Those of you who are afraid of everything GM just because it's GM, and who want to stop GM research, are only holding us back.
It's a conspiracy by Ford and Dodge, I tell ya.

Re:MyFish.com presents: "2Fish2Furious"

[Tumbleweed]

2Fish2Furious, a McG Film starring:

Don Knotts
Daryl Hannah
& Gilbert Gottfried

Get your 2Fish2Furious collectors cups at Long John Silver's!

Re:GM pets

[Elwood P Dowd]

The obvious benefit to the allergy free cat is that it won't have to sneeze all the time.

Ah...

[Jaegs]

One fish
two fish
red fish
blue fish

Black fish
blue fish
old fish
new glow-in-the-dark zebra fish(tm)

Copyright Dr. Seuss 1960

Re:Roll on the genetically engineered toys

[mattsucks]

how these fish taste. .. and whether the glow-in-the-dark effect will .. um .. pass through ...

Yeah,

[dupper]

I know we're probably supposed to be against this, but this is just really cool. Imagine: four, five, even six-assed monkeys!

here are my requests/ideas for GE pets...

[Anonymous Coward]

1) 2-foot elephant
2) "Pocket Grisly" (TM)[yeah, i know...you've got my pocket grisly right there]
3) Giant Gambian Rat (oops...nevermind...we already have those)
4) "Tabletop Tiger" (TM)
5) My First Mammoth (from Galoob)

Ethics aside

[waterhouse]

Does anyone know where you can order one, now? I'm highly interested in acquiring one as a status symbol.

Yes, I know, I am terrible person. This will ruin fish for all future generations. Someday bioluminescent fish will be our overlords, but for the time being, anyone have a url?

"During the winter, I'll just stand outside with an aerosol can. *pssshhhhhhhhhhh* Where's this global warming I keep hearing about? Fuck the grandkids, I'm cold now!"

Re:How do you know YOU have a will?

[VendingMenace]

"We are also "chemicals" as you nicely put it. The human will is a conceit of the human mind. Actually, even the human "mind" is a conceit. All you are doing is defining a model for life and then saying that since genes do not follow your model, they do not live. This is a meaningless argument."

This is not meaningless, this is how all arguments are carried out. You define what you mean by something and then see if that definition works. But that is off topic...

Genes are not just dumb chemicals, eh? Why? You must give a reason for this acertion, if i am to belive it. Are all chemicals "alive" and have a will. Do chemicals have a "will" to react with others? Perhaps Nitrogen prefers to be N2 other than in NH4? What of rocks? Is there will to sit around and eventually reach the bottom of the graitational well? Perhaps this seems like a stupid argument. But this is what i am trying to ask; what, in your mind, differnetiats that with life from that without life?

As for genes ruling the universe....what about protiens? Perhaps they are the true rules of the universe.

Re:Roll on the genetically engineered toys

[AntiOrganic]

(Go back to older African songs saying their women have bigger breasts/ass)

I wouldn't consider "Baby Got Back" an older African song.

Re:Bah!

[Kenshin]

But they tend to be very sensitive to temp (need cold), light (its dark down there), and oxygen level.

Well, I don't know about the oxygen thing, but it seems they'd be a perfect companion for Slashdotters.

No more kittens?

[randomErr]

So, does this mean I will no longer be able to buy my Bonsai Kitten's anymore? [bonsaikitten.com]

Re:The FUD never ceases to amaze

[Kafka_Canada]

> They'll be lunch before you can say "cyalume".

Yes, but that gives them a helluva long time. Sigh-a-loom... key-a-loom... cha-loom-ee... uhh.....

Re:The killer app...

[Paradise Pete]

The first person to patent a dog that refuses to pee in the house will be gangbusters.

Why are you asking your dog to pee in the house?

not quite like seedless grapes, but..

[calethix]

How about a poopless puppy?

Re:No more kittens?

[No Such Agency]

No, and I suspect it won't hinder your ability to grab the latest Playboy and "kill them" either...

Re:Huh?

[Bombcar]

I don't know what the solution is, because there are many good uses for GM products, but its an issue that needs to be thought out carefully, instead of just saying "cool!"

That's why we all have to buy Fords!

Re:Roll on the genetically engineered toys

[zerocool^]

One time, my friend went into petsmart and asked to buy some fish.

The lady asked him, "What size aquarium will you be putting these in?".

He replied: "Aquarium? I was just going to chuck them at passing cars in the parking lot!"

~Wx

Re:Roll on the genetically engineered toys

[Zirnike]

"who needs a glow in the dark condom now!"

(obligatory) Probably not you, if you start glowing...

Re:Geeks and Bugblatters

[Grishnakh]

That's what I was thinking.

The real truth is: the jocks hook up with the hot chicks early on, and get them pregnant. Then the jocks either die out due to stupid auto accidents, or they reform and become decent people. The wives of the dead ones now have a bunch of kids, and have gotten fat, so not only can they not find a new husband (not even the geeks want them), but that's that many women now out of the pool of available ones. The women that are left have their pick of all the players at the clubs, and hook up with them in a similar cycle. By the time the geeks are done with their education and are established in a career, and have finally figured out how to be more appealing to women, it's too late. They're all either taken, have gotten fat and ugly, or have kids.

What's the answer to this situation? Well, to bring this back on topic, genetic engineering!! We need to get into biotech, and figure out how to clone hot-looking women, the way it was done in "The 6th Day". The reason for this is that we certainly don't want to wait 25 years for them to grow up. Additionally, we need to work on brainwashing, so we can convince these hot clones that we're the kind of guys they want.

Kinda sucks that we have to resort to such extreme measures to find mates, but obviously the human race is badly flawed when you look at the kinds of guys that women pick these days, so we need to modify our genetics to fix this.

Re:How about this?

[tsa]

Well I don't know. I think I'll keep on bonking sheep. They are easier to hold on to :-)

Re:Is the protein edible?

[Anonymous Coward]

Anyone remember the Taiwanese motherboard capacitor screwup?

I just can't wait until they decide to use some cut-rate genes...