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Science

Scientists Grow Decaffeinated Coffee Plants 427

An anonymous reader writes "According to a CBC News story, researchers have genetically modified coffee seedlings to produce up to 70 per cent less caffeine." The Japanese researchers quoted in the article say "..demand for decaffeinated coffee is growing worldwide. Caffeine can trigger palpitations, increase blood pressure and disrupt sleep in sensitive people", and so "..used a tool called RNA interference to genetically engineer the one-year-old plants." Seems like these boffins may be competing against the University Of Hawaii researchers we mentioned last year to take away your buzz.
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Scientists Grow Decaffeinated Coffee Plants

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  • by benna ( 614220 ) * <mimenarrator@g m a i l .com> on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:06AM (#6240958) Journal
    I mean really, if it can't help me stay up all night coding whats the point?
  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:07AM (#6240959)
    How about they get working on super-caffeinated coffee? And we can call it Coffee 2. Then the regular caffeinated version of coffee can be renamed to Coffee 2. But the super-caffeinated version will be Coffee 2 Hi-Caffeine and the regular-caffeinated version will be Coffee 2 Full-Caffeine.
  • by michaelhood ( 667393 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:09AM (#6240966)
    i rerereally cococould uuuuse thththis stufffff.
  • by Unominous Coward ( 651680 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:09AM (#6240968)
    about as popular as dry water.

    Or alcohol-free beer.
    • Or... (Score:3, Funny)

      by CountBrass ( 590228 )

      Decaffeinated diet coke (aka water).

    • by lingqi ( 577227 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @06:22AM (#6241204) Journal
      You might be surprised to hear this, but coffee has became probably THE national drink of Japan. It's really an jaw-dropping thing because people usually have a concept where they are sipping green tea all the time.

      The thing is, though, that they actually seem to genuinely like the stupid beverage (and almost everybody drinks it black - and by almost i mean 99.9% of the people), because they don't really have any perceptable needs for the caffine.

      Being that most everybody is extremely health-conscious here*, it is not surprising that they are making "natural" decaf coffee - or I should say, decaf coffee that has not gone through the decaf cycle (which to many, ruins the taste).

      * there is a dichotomy here - because while many guys goes on diets and somesuch, they are almost always horrible workaholics and a large percentage smokes and drinks like it's going out of style. So, it's almost like hipocritical health consciousness - but hypocritical or not, the demand is still there for the low-caffine beverage.
      • by SkArcher ( 676201 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @07:11AM (#6241325) Journal
        "natural" decaf coffee - or I should say, decaf coffee that has not gone through the decaf cycle (which to many, ruins the taste).

        De-caffeinated coffee ruins the point of drinking coffee, anyone who wants de-caff (or no alcohol beer, or nicotine free cigarettes) should just go and drink orange juice and leave those of us with a serious addiction to it.

        I'm more worried about it cross-polinating with real caffeine plants and diluting my Coding Coffee [dooyoo.co.uk]
        • I'm more worried about it cross-polinating with real caffeine plants and diluting my Coding Coffee

          For a moment, I thought that said Codeine Coffee...and half of me instantly wanted to ask where I could get some...
  • very bad idea (Score:4, Interesting)

    by mirko ( 198274 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:09AM (#6240969) Journal
    Caffeine can trigger palpitations, increase blood pressure and disrupt sleep in sensitive people

    I don't think this is a good idea to get "sensitive people" used to the taste of stuff which is not good for them.

    This is like Coke Light : though it has no sugar inside it still tastes exageratedly sweet and this would be a better idea to get the "users" curious about differently tasted products.

    I am afraid, at the end of the story, everything will taste the same and recipe will consist of posologies. :/
  • by Justatad ( 630151 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:10AM (#6240975) Homepage
    opiate free poppy plantations?
  • Dilbert (Score:5, Insightful)

    by The Famous Brett Wat ( 12688 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:11AM (#6240976) Homepage Journal
    Today's Dilbert [dilbert.com] seems apropos.
  • Beer... (Score:3, Insightful)

    by danormsby ( 529805 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:11AM (#6240978) Homepage
    And I thought alcohol free beer was bad enough.

    Isn't the caffeine in the coffee the point of coffee?

  • Nooo! (Score:5, Funny)

    by Noryungi ( 70322 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:11AM (#6240979) Homepage Journal
    *Jaw drops open*

    This is blasphemy!! This, this, this... This is an outrage! Oh, the humanity!

    It's time to stop this nonsense once and for all! Coders, Admins, hackers, and yes, even Microsoft employees, virus writers and marketdroids, repeat after me:

    No to GMO! We want Real Coffee!

    I mean, Decaf' Coffee? If God wanted us to drink this, he would not have invented Starbucks!

    Oh, wait... I am a tea drinker...

    Err... Well, never mind me. Carry on... ;-)
  • by Anonymous Coward on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:12AM (#6240982)
    Until reading this I was fairly neutral about the GM issue.

    On one hand I thought greenpeace were a load of insane hippies who are in need of a damn good kicking, but I was also suspicious of the motives of the biotech companies. I was, however, prepared to give them the benefit of the doubt.

    Now I know. Greenpeace are right! Those bastards mean to destroy us all, and I have proof!!! [dilbert.com]
  • Dangers of GM food (Score:3, Interesting)

    by Eric Ass Raymond ( 662593 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:12AM (#6240988) Journal
    Caffeine can trigger palpitations, increase blood pressure and disrupt sleep in sensitive people

    So we must protect the fools who, in spite of the symptoms, insist on drinking coffee. Not only do we have to do that, but we'll just have to do it by letting loose modifed genomes with no idea of how this will change the ecosystem?

    GM food has not been proved safe in long term cultivation and it will not help to relieve hunger in 3rd world countries. Hunger is a political problem, not an agricultural problem. The production capacity of the Earth would feed the current and future population very well if the distribution of food were done fairly.

  • by panurge ( 573432 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:13AM (#6240990)
    Coders will be growing illicit high-strength skunk coffee beans under arc lights in their basements.

    Someone needs to look at what the whole drive for effectless "drugs" tells us about society. THC free hemp yes, because hemp is a useful plant (makes good cloth,easier to grow than cotton). But surely the sole purpose of coffee beans is to produce...coffee? If you don't like the side effects, there are any number of alternatives. Decaffeinated coffee is like devaluing the brand name.

    Or perhaps I've missed the business implications. Perhaps I should just patent my new process for making alcohol free vodka, and get rich.

  • What a coincidence [dilbert.com]

    hey i realise there's a dilbert for every occasion. but this is um, not quite spooky, but close

  • For the love of Vinton Cerf, NoooOOOOooooo (Said in a... I just found out Vader was my daddy voice)

    In this day and age, with all natural shampoo with chemicals I can't pronounce, there was always this refuge.
    My sanctuary now defiled.
    Damn them! Damn them to sleep.
  • by CountBrass ( 590228 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:17AM (#6241013)

    You would have thought that now scientists have decided they were wrong about cholesterol and that eating margarine rather than butter and cutting out eggs was actually "a really bad idea"(TM the food industry) they'd learn to leave alone.

    We spent millions of years to evolving to eat the shit that grows around us - not some factory grown crap that no-one actually has any idea about what it's effects on everything else (us, other plants, the biosphere) might be. Some scientist with too much funding and driven by greedy food corporations (Hi Monsanto!) simply is not going to improve on what we evolved to consume.

    Sometimes I despair at the thought that a company will produce "Batchelor Chow" (and then realise they have - it's called Pot Noodle in the UK). And that it won't be Matrix style uber-computers feeding us recycled human but uber-corporations run by humans.

    • by Bodrius ( 191265 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @06:26AM (#6241218) Homepage
      I don't know about your particular species, but humans did not evolve millions of years to eat the shit that JUST GROWS around us. Most of the shit we ate for the last millions of years is gone... what we eat is what we BREED AND CULTIVATE.

      We're "civilized" now. We cultivate, and genetically-engineer the food we need, and exterminate species that we find sub-optimal when new "frankenfoods" are found.

      This is not new. It predates all corporations, industrialization, etc. We've been doing this ever since we discovered agriculture and the domestication of animals, which was a few tens of thousands of years ago.

      Cows and chickens are frankenanimals. Corn and wheat are frankenfoods. We use genetically-engineered felines (cats) for industrial (pest control) and emotional purposes (pets). We breed qualities into and out of living organism according to our needs.

      If you're going to attack Monsanto because of the dangers of new, more efficient ways to genetically-engineer life, at least realize that we've been doing this for a long, long time. We have had our disasters and our successes, but already our nutrition is based on thousands of years of Frankenfoods.

      • We've been doing this ever since we discovered agriculture and the domestication of animals, which was a few tens of thousands of years ago.

        Actually quite a few books on nutrition recommend staying away from lots of grains since they are relatively new. Some people think this is a big contributor to obesity and diabetes. Maybe we have been breeding and growing foods to meet our needs for thousands of years, but this is certainly much different than eating chemicals or GMO!
      • by Zan Zu from Eridu ( 165657 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @07:56AM (#6241515) Journal
        Oh stop it.

        Breeding is not equal to genetical engineering. There is no way to do transgenetic breeding, iow. to introduce genes from one species into another species by breeding. With GE, it's no problem at all; bioluminous tabacco plants (with firefly genes) anyone?

        Consider this before you claim GE is harmless or nothing new.

    • I've never eaten a "navel orange"!

      Or a "seedless watermelon"!

      Or any of those monstrous "seedless grapes"!

      Or, God forbid, monstrosities such as "broccoflower"!

      Honestly, you people who use the term "frankenfood" have absolutley no clue what you are talking about. Get a remedial education about what you actually do eat, then come back!

    • And if anything would convince a bunch of otherwise stridently libertarian coder geeks that genetically modified food is bad, this particular GMO would do it! "Monsanto is threatening our caffeine! To arms!"

  • by sould ( 301844 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:18AM (#6241014) Homepage
    to buy my thc-free marjiuana before.

    But now I'm not so sure.
  • by Shooter6947 ( 148693 ) <jbarnes007@c3po.b a r n e s o s.net> on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:18AM (#6241015) Homepage
    I'm kind of surprised that people are so shocked that someone might actually make, or drink, decaffinated coffee. Its not like this is a perversion of nature or something, the point is that there is a huge market out there for the stuff. Millions of people drink decaf every day.

    We may not understand it, but the point is that genetically modifying the plant to produce less caffeine is both safer, and tastes better, than whatever god-awful shit they do to it now.

    I guess I just think this is a cool, and potentially profitable use for the level of genetic engineering that we are able to do nowadays. If this kind of stuff works, and makes money, then we get to see the really neat stuff down the road!
    • Decaffinated coffee was discovered acctidentally (around the turn of the century, if I recall) when a ship loaded with coffee beans from South America was caught in a nasty storm. Its deck and hold were awash with sea water for 8+ hours. The owners of the cargo, attempting to salvage the beans, made coffee with it anyway. The taste was different, and analysis showed that it had less caffeine. They marketed it as "decaffeinated" coffee, and a product was born.

      There are several chemicals that dissolve ca
    • I'm kind of surprised that people are so shocked that someone might actually make, or drink, decaffinated coffee. Its not like this is a perversion of nature or something, the point is that there is a huge market out there for the stuff. Millions of people drink decaf every day.

      Hmmmm, I am about to write something that was recently modded down as a flamebait, but hey - who's afraid of dekarmaized karma? Anyway, I really think it is a a matter of America vs Europe. From my (obviously superficial) observ
  • by Cally ( 10873 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:21AM (#6241027) Homepage
    I'm sure this story will be full of "what's the point?!" comments. Just a single data point / anecdotal bit of evidence. I always had trouble getting to sleep (and, consequently, getting up in the morning) although I stuck to only two or three cups of instant, and nothing after midday/1pm. Just for the hell of it, I had a cup of tea for my morning kickstart a couple of weeks ago, and stayed off coffee the rest of the day. Result: solid refreshing sleep;
    4) happiness! (better than profit! any day...)

  • by mikeophile ( 647318 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:22AM (#6241031)
    I'm all for decaf. At least for my co-workers.
  • by HornyBastard77 ( 667965 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:26AM (#6241048)
    ...consumption of coffee is expected to increase by over 200 percent.
  • Decaf (Score:5, Funny)

    by Rumagent ( 86695 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:27AM (#6241051)
    Decaf is like masturbation. When it is all you have it is ok. But, man you would die for the real thing!

    Don't laugh. Just like me you are reading slashdot. You know what I am talking about;)
  • For reference... (Score:3, Informative)

    by brucmack ( 572780 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:36AM (#6241081)
    For reference, here's a summary [coffeeresearch.org] of some current decaffeination processes. An excerpt:

    "Coffee is decaffeinated using a variety of processes. All of which are relatively harmless to your health, but harmful to the beverage quality."
  • yeah (Score:3, Funny)

    by 73939133 ( 676561 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:41AM (#6241101)
    Caffeine can trigger palpitations, increase blood pressure and disrupt sleep in sensitive people

    Yeah, great stuff!
  • a pack of nicotine free cigarettes with every purchase.
  • by ajs318 ( 655362 ) <sd_resp2@@@earthshod...co...uk> on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:53AM (#6241128)
    Surely the kind of person who thinks caffeine will kill them, is hardly likely to touch a genetically modified plant? Never mind that maize, wheat, barley et al are all genetically modified grass, and cabbages, Brussels sprouts, broccoli and swedes are all genetically modified turnips. OK, in those cases the GM was done the slow way, but evolution is still technically genetic modification.

    If ever anyone needed concrete evidence that the world is going stark, raving bonkers, this is surely it. First it was Lucozade Light {for the benefit of foreigners, Lucozade is a high-calorie drink with glucose for an instant energy boost. Table sugar is sucrose, which the body has to hydrolyse into glucose and fructose.} The whole point of Lucozade is to provide quickly-assimilated calories. If you need fewer calories then just drink less; if you still need fluid then dilute it with water.

    Not so long ago we ate loads of fried food, fat and sugar, we smoked woodbines, we drank beer and whisky all the time and we didn't die! We weren't all pasty-faced, nesh asthmatics either. Nowadays it is "trendy" to be a health freak, so people latch onto any convenient buzz-words without thinking properly what they mean. Then they drive their cars from the bedroom to the bathroom to the gym, where they pay good money to sit on a fake bike and pedal nowhere. I bet some young mother somewhere is probably bringing up a baby exclusively on soya milk because she thinks breast milk is bad for you.

    Last year, in a Tesco supermarket, I found Organic Milk -- available in skimmed and semi-skimmed varieties, but not full cream. So, you go organic to get nothing artificial added, then they go and take something natural away. {it's not that long ago I remember drinking unpasteurised milk - a test of faith in the immune system :) but a worthwhile one}.

    What next, decaffeinated Red Bull? For crying out loud, if you don't like the thought of caffeine, then don't drink coffee! Or drink tea, which contains something that stops your body absorbing caffeine.

    Somebody needs to patent a home coffee decaffeinator - and maybe a home milk skimmer/semi-skimmer - to sell to the trendy brigade. Or, failing that, a way of distributing a clue .....
    • We weren't all pasty-faced, nesh asthmatics either.

      I'd just like to congratulate you for the first use of the word 'nesh' I've seen on /. - The southerners won't get that one, let alone the Yanks!
  • Pointless GMOs? (Score:3, Insightful)

    by Espen ( 96293 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @05:55AM (#6241133)
    We already have several methods for removing caffeine from coffee much more efficiently than this, so what is the point. I would have much more respect for work on GMOs if the scientists concentrated more on areas which would benefit mankind rather than business interests.
    • It's not really a GMO - the journo doesn't know what he's talking about biologically speaking.

      The effect of RNA interference is to stop a particular gene being expressed, without removing or modifying the gene in any way.

      J.

  • huh? (Score:2, Insightful)

    by Anonymous Coward
    You can find the time to reduce the caffeine but you can't figure out how to get half the crap out of cigarettes or junk out of fatty foods.

    Gimme something of use to me. Caffeine is the only reason I'm starbucks' bitch.
  • Real coders need REAL Caffeine (TM). Considering the bloatware that comes from MS, packaged with lesser useful stuff, I guess the developers over there should be the biggest customers for this!

    Seriously, if I wanted less caffeine, I'd drink less coffee! What's all this nonsense about? What next? Bio-engineered hunans to think less, and consume more? Eeekk!

  • by Benm78 ( 646948 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @06:10AM (#6241165) Homepage
    Besides the fact that it lacks caffeine, and tastes mediocre at best, I wonder what the problem is with currect decaf.

    Decaf is nowadays produced by removing caffeine from coffee beans using liquid or supercritical CO2, instead of organic solvents used in the old days. The current process is friendly to the environment (CO2 can easily be recycled), and safe to the consumer as well.

    Personally, I do not object genetic modification of the plants, but I think many people (especially Europeans) do. Decaf is also considered a 'healthy' product, and it might be a bad marketing match to introduce modern biotech there. Furthermore, I doubt it will taste any better, since caffeine itself has a bitter flavor to it that might be important in the taste of 'real' coffee.

    One question remains: Where does the caffeine they currently remove go? And: Will caffeine become more expensive when there are no 'leftovers' from removing it from coffee?

    • Warning: coffee tragic at keyboard.

      Short answer: it doesn't taste very good. Even if you're using a good grinder and espresso machine and are a reasonably skilled barista, you can't make espresso or espresso-based drinks from decaf beans that taste as good as ones that start with regular beans. The decaffeination process removes other things from the coffee that go to make up its taste - hardly surprising as a lot of the taste of coffee comes from some fairly light, volatile substances. They don't stick ar
  • Don't get me wrong... I was all for genetic research and modification. I was naive enough to think the scientists would only do ethical stuff, like growing chicken that lay cubic eggs for efficient storage and transportation, and solve the world hunger by engineering better socks.

    But no! They just had to go for us professional nerds and geeks! They just had to attack the foundation of our daily life... this can't continue... research must stop!

    -- :-P
  • by ites ( 600337 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @06:18AM (#6241188) Journal
    1. Ban popular addictive substance
    2. ???
    3. Profit!!

    Coffee is both popular and cheap, so something had to be done about it. Banning the traditional kind and replacing it with a kinder, gentler version is the first step. Bombing coffee-growing regions while turning a blind eye to coffee-lords who grow new hi-grade plants is the next step. Finally, a 25% cut of what is definitely going to be big business...

    Ites' first rule of thumb says "follow the money", and for caffeine-free coffee this seems the only plausible plot. Certainly no-one is actually going to buy the castrated version.
  • SCOffee contains 70% lesser caffeine, much like SCOde which is 70% junk!
    Drinking SCOffee makes people SCOff at you.

    Next research item:
    SCOrn : Normal Corn with 99.99% chaff and .01% stuff.

  • Caffeine can trigger palpitations, increase blood pressure and disrupt sleep in sensitive people

    Cool! Are there any side effects?

  • Info About Coffee (Score:5, Informative)

    by bace ( 628761 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @06:31AM (#6241231)
    Firstly Coffee is the second most traded comodity, behind oil.

    The way most coffee is decafinated these days is with a process called the "Swiss water method".
    This involves soaking unroasted coffee beans in water. The water absorbs the coffee flavor and the caffine.
    These beans are then trown out, the water is filtered of caffine, and only caffine. To do this the water is pased through a carbon filter.
    The result is decaf coffee flavoured water. This water is used to soak a new batch of beans. Scince the water is super saturated with coffee flavour, it cannot abosorb any more flavour, but it can still absorb caffine. So the caffine is removed from the beans whilst keeping the flavour. The water is used for about 3 batches then the whole process starts again with new water.

    The extra steps involved in decafinating coffee is what makes it a bit more expensive. So next time you have a decaf coffee, just think of all the steps involved to make it that way. Ohh by the way, coffee needs do be 97% free of caffine to be called decaf.

    If you want to know how i know all this, i help roast coffee for Gloria Jeans

  • But Why? Why? Why? (Score:2, Insightful)

    by LazloToth ( 623604 )


    How about they come up with a Kona plant that grows to maturity in your back yard in less than one month?

  • by Idimmu Xul ( 204345 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @06:49AM (#6241268) Homepage Journal
    LOL IM A PROGRAMMER LOL I DRINK COFFEE LOL CAFFEINE LOL DONT COME TO CLOSE LOL I HAVE THE SHAKES AND MIGHT SNAP ROFL I HAVENT HAD MY MORNING CUP OF COFFEE LOL

    Unfortunatly, I've met more imaginative heroin addicts.

    I fucking hate this caffeine gimmick, it's not that hard to stay up late when coding, or make it to work in the morning without bending over for caffeine.
  • Seriously, ditching caffeine last year has had many benefits: more energy, better concentration, easier time sleeping, and more restful sleep. Plus no frantic lunges for the mug when those caffeine deprivation headaches set in.

    These days I'll brew up strong decaf (to make up for the flavor loss from decaffeination), herbal tea (roibos, yum), and decaf black tea. I save those wonderful espressos, cappuccinos, etc. for those times when I'm terribly exhausted, at which point the caffeine has a big big effec
  • A man walked into a restaurant and seated himself. Soon, the waitress came over to take his order, "...and to drink?" she asked. The man said he would like coffee.

    The waitress promptly returned with a cup of coffee, but spilled it on the man's lap when she stopped at the table. "Oh my god, I am so sorry!"

    "That's OK," the man said sopping up the puddle on his pants with his a napkin. "But tell me, is this regular or decaf?"

    "Regular," she replied.

    "Oh great, now this thing is going to be up all night!"
  • RNS interference is not really GM - it's a technique that knocks out a single gene's activity, but leaves the gene sequence intact.

    If you bred from these genes, the offspring plants would be caffeine producing.

    J.

  • by nmg196 ( 184961 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @07:50AM (#6241496)
    Scientists have also found a way to remove Dihydrogen Monoxide from water in a process called "deaquificiation".
  • by JaJ_D ( 652372 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @07:57AM (#6241521)
    In stead of "Scientists Grow Decaffeinated Coffee Plants" I want ot see headlines like...:-

    Scientists Grow caffeinated Coffee Plants with 50% more Caffine

    or

    Scientist grow a Jolt Cola Plant

    or

    Scientist grom a Caffine/Pizza combo plant

    Why _less_ caffine??

    Jaj
  • by Kvan ( 30429 ) <slashdot@kvans.dk> on Thursday June 19, 2003 @08:57AM (#6241853)
    Why is it that all the new crops I hear about are all about functionality? It's decaf this, Roundup-ready that, when the number one priority for food products should be taste.

    I hope their new bean has a unique and interesting taste; if so, I'll definitely be buying it--caffeine or not. But these guys shouldn't be focusing on caffeine, they should be trying to produce a coffee bean that can be grown easily in many regions, yet tastes as good as Jamaica Blue Mountain. They should be making coffees that taste more like chocolate, or like orange or like a thousand other things.

    • Unfortunately, better taste is much less likely to make money for the producer, unless it is a radical improvement. This example, for instance, would allow coffee producers to eliminate a fairly costly step in the production of decaf coffee. Will the price go down? Unlikely, which means instant profits for the coffee companies. This stuff will probably be patented, as well, so the availability will be restricted to those willing to pay.

      Look at tomatoes, as well. "Regular" tomatoes in the supermarket
  • by bmac ( 51623 ) on Thursday June 19, 2003 @09:19AM (#6241972) Journal
    just to invent a nontoxic brown magic marker for your teeth.

    Manually implemented sigs are of unlimited length...
  • by fahrvergnugen ( 228539 ) <fahrvNO@SPAMhotmail.com> on Thursday June 19, 2003 @10:47AM (#6242814) Homepage
    I used to drink about 4 cans of soda and a pot of coffee every day. Cup of coffee and two cigarettes were my breakfast. Caffiene was my lifeblood, but when I decided to quit smoking, I decided that I would be no chemical's bitch. Further, in a fit of masochism, I decided I would get the asshole out of my system all at once, so on the same day, caffiene & nicotine left my life and withdrawal entered it.

    I was expecting that getting rid of cigarettes would make me feel better, and it did. My heart stopped pounding, my sense of smell returned, my lung capacity increased, all the things I was led to believe.

    What I was not expecting was that quitting caffiene made me feel even better.

    I slept better, I woke up with more energy and felt more lively throughout my day. I quit having headaches on the weekends when I decide to sleep late. I found that a 15-minute cat-nap at around five o'clock would let me stay up until two in the morning without any serious repercussions.

    In short, in the eighteen months since I gave it up, I have never once considered going back. Giving up caffiene is maybe the best health decision I have ever made.

    But, I still love the taste of coffee. I spent years acquiring the taste, and I didn't give up that taste just because I gave up caffiene. Decaf fits my needs. It's got less caffiene than a chocolate bar, and still tastes like coffee. I can get my unleaded and drink it, too.

    Now, if they could make caffiene-free coke not suck, I'd be in business.

    Living without caffiene is a bit like having TiVO. You have to stop yourself from evangelizing to the people around you constantly, lest you alienate everyone by not shutting up about how great it is.

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