On the Gripping Hand

eek_the_kat writes "The Sensor Fusion Project at Ishikawa Hashimoto Laboratory has developed a high speed visual feedback system called SPE-256. It allows the robot to track fast randomly moving objects and grasp them (movies here). The applications seem endless! I have seen many robot mpegs as of late, many courtesy of /., but these have to be some of the coolest I have ever come across. A must see."

Police Bots

[Anonymous Coward]

A tip for criminals if you get chased by a Police Bot:

Don't run randomly, run in a definate pattern.

--
Pr0n: getting too much? [porn-free.org]

Car Security

[mothrathegreat]

I want one of these hooked up to my car alarm to rip the carjacker's nuts off.

Re:Car Security

[bishopi]

I want one of these hooked up to my car alarm to rip the carjacker's nuts off.

I was actually thinking one robot hand to grip the skull, and apply appropriate movements of the skull to allow a second hand (Johnny Scissorhands variety) to perform a random action from a shortlist - eg :

a) Slash throat
b) Remove eyes
c) Pierce windpipe
d) Tear nuts off and feed to criminal

The possibilities are endless!

Ian

Shameless Matrix reference

[gringer]

What are you saying? When I use SPE-C, I can catch bullets?

What I'm saying, is that when you're ready, you won't have to.

Fishing

[jabbadabbadoo]

Well, once they get out a waterproof version, I'll program one to catch fish. Yum, yum. Can't wait.

Rumor...

[SushiFugu]

Rumor has it that the secret behind the robot's technology is actually the Nintendo Power Glove...

Be afraid

[Anonymous Coward]

That's what the hand will look like that slashes your throat in 2035 because it's more efficient to arm the extermination robots with knives rather than bullets that have to be replaced.

At the Safety Checkpoints, at the mall, at schools they could be seen, light glinting from faceted metal skulls as they scanned all who passed.

It was during a live 5am broadcast one morning of Bush's 8th consecutive term when he'd slurred out an announcement about his "little buddies" helping out in the war against terrorism. A week later, a million robots were killing all life forms that had appendages that could be loosely identified as "arms" due to a coding error that failed to properly identify the context of what coud be construed as a weapon. The last words most people heard for many months was "For the last time, I order you to drop your weapons!"

But even more gruesome scenes were to come when the robots began filtering back to weapons collection centers where they deposited the "weapons" they'd siezed and arranged them by species and appendage. Some of the more creative ones had broken into zoos and aquariums. And while
most of the government officials were partying in another globalist meeting in Zurich, there was noone home to put a halt to the prescripted robot-press event that would automatically photograph the results of the terrorist sweeps.

One of the last images the human race would ever broadcast into space was of a smiling robot holding up a pair of severed, bloody, duck-feet and proclaiming "We must be forever vigilant in our fight against terrorists!"

Aw, Mom!

[Asprin]

BILLY!

Stop teasing the robot! You wouldn't like it if researchers kept taking your oblong right parallelipiped!

insider info

[selderrr]

i know from reliable source that this is not an inhouse development. It's just an arm they found in a steel-melting factory, along with a chip they haven't identified yet. And some frozen blubber.

Re:Ironing

[Anonymous Coward]

Dude, that's what marriage is for.

Re:damn straight

[rkz]

You are confusing yourself with somone who could ever attract a woman!

Oh No!

[Cylix]

With the advant of such new technologies, I fear many people will find their jobs automated.

Rat catchers, while not such a profession of pride, will now have a hard time finding work once this goes mainstream.

This device is a boon to the rat catcher industry and I would like to personally convey my feelings of grief for those who will now feel the boone new technology brings to their job market.

Joe Bob, a rat catcher since 12, had this to say: "Damn, Pa' always tol me and my brother we was chasin a pipe dream. I knewd I shoulda listened and hopped onto the IT market." (IT standing for Interstate Trucker)

Joe Bob, already forseeing the doomed market, has decided to persue his dreams and earning his MSCE certifications.

Truely a sad day.

Re:Car Security

[Sevn]

$exyGrl is actually a bored 56 year old plumber
from upstate newyork with a huge beergut and a love
for wearing women's lingerie. There are no real
women on the net. It's a conspiracy.

Chicken Catchers allready mechanized

[Neuticle]

Remember this one? http://slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=03/06/05/125920 6
If you could integrate the two...
Imagine a school full of ADHD kids: Spitballs and paper-airplanes intercepted in mid air, offending kids automatically sucked up into a "cage" for "time out". (Remembering what an ass I was in Junior High)

Re:Is it real?

[mtec]

>>nobody'd like to get a firm handshake from a robot... it's scary, you know.

But what if you just sold the robot a used car? How else could you close the deal?

"On the Gripping Hand:" oh, puh-lease...

[Slartibartfast]

This should _so_ have been titled, "Where's Waldo?"

[Bonus points to thems who get both allusions.]