Investigating Artificial Black Holes 713
Robber Baron writes "I remember years ago watching a cartoon in which an inventor had managed to create 'portable holes.' Now along those lines, according to this story in the Christian Science Monitor, scientists are on the threshhold of developing the 'do-it-yourself black hole' (Well, no, it's not quite do-it yourself as you need a pretty large collider to pull it off.) They're hoping to use the new Large Hadron Collider at the European Center for Nuclear Research to create many tiny black holes and observe the Hawking Effect as they dissipate. Keep your shotgun handy though, as they are more than likely going to open up a portal into another dimension and all sorts of nasties are going to come pouring out."
we're all gonna die! (Score:5, Funny)
dear lord, haven't we learned our lesson from Doom [idsoftware.com], Stargate [stargate-sg1.com] and Half-Life [sierrastudios.com]?!
science, it's done nothing but cause trouble.
Mike
Gordon, (Score:5, Funny)
Portable Holes (Score:5, Funny)
Nothing new... (Score:3, Funny)
Re:we're all gonna die! (Score:1, Funny)
ANd if we're going to start learning "lessons" from video games and/or popular movies, well, we're in a heap of trouble that not even a double-barrelled shotgun can solve.
Whoa... (Score:4, Funny)
It must be the Slashdot->Goatse.cx->Giver thing. I need to get out more.
excellent, Smithers! (Score:5, Funny)
Since the dawn of time, Man has yearned to destroy the Sun...
Obligatory Event Horizon reference (Score:4, Funny)
"Liberate tutemet ex inferis."
No wonder the Christian Science Monitor picked this one up.
Already been done (Score:5, Funny)
Heh... (Score:5, Funny)
*rubs chin*
Naw, couldn't be...
Re:Is this dangerous? (Score:5, Funny)
It's like taking an apple, or if you want, the biggest freighter on earth, and compressing it to a microscopic size...
The biggest freighter on earth isn't heavy enough to attract stuff around it... so the black hole it forms won't be either.
Now that being said, I don't know how they intend to "stabilize" the black holes... because as you noticed, anything that touches it *will* be sucked into it, so what comes to my mind is a black hole the size of an atom free falling all the way to the core of the earth, and starting to consume everything that touches it until it eats up everything...
And then we die. End of story.
Cartoon (Score:2, Funny)
At least they can't patent it, as there is clearly a lot of prior art.
Re:What if (Score:5, Funny)
Sue Hawking, duh.
Re:we're all gonna die! (Score:5, Funny)
Old News (Score:5, Funny)
Re:What if (Score:1, Funny)
Any life forms that are stupid enough to try to create black holes on their own planet deserve what they get.
Re:we're all gonna die! (Score:5, Funny)
Yes, we have!
Press the console key and type "+GOD MODE".
That's all folks (Score:3, Funny)
Re:What if (Score:4, Funny)
Black hole in the cellar (Score:4, Funny)
"We used to have a grandpa and he was getting pretty old. One day in July - early morning -
he went into the cellar - to get a pitchfork
for haymaking. But he never made it back, it looks like that he has vanished for good.
Chorus: "We have a small black hole in the cellar.
It eats everything it finds and it has no restraint. Grandma, please don't go there for coal - or it will eat you too - and police will never ever find you!"
Scientists came from far away - and from near too, grandma is nervous and beats us all, the kids. She is all alone there to do the cleaning and taking care of kitchen - while grandpa sits in the cellar and is infinitely heavy.
Chorus: "We have a small black hole...
Don't worry grandma, please don't despair, my wife is making the lunch. Her food is usualy quite terrible and I am gonna use it to feed the black hole. So I fed the leftovers from lunch to the black hole and it threw up everything including the grandpa. Then I took the chaisaw and cut the hole into pieces. And so the man won again over mysterious forces.
Europe Stop! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:we're all gonna die! (Score:5, Funny)
No, no, no. It's "iddqd". Followed by "idkfa". And there is no console! You must be one of those young whipper snappers we've been hearing about lately. :-)
wow (Score:4, Funny)
People almost sound as if ms were trying to make these black holes.
Re:Doesn't this seem dangerous (Score:5, Funny)
--
Evan
Re:we're all gonna die! (Score:5, Funny)
Wait... the goatse hole didn't quite get slashdotted.. but then again, that wasn't a front page story. Any Slashematicians who can ponder this delicate rump-roast of a question?
Re:we're all gonna die! (Score:4, Funny)
Comment removed (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Is this dangerous? (Score:5, Funny)
If they make a black hole at the surface of the earth all the gravity runs out and we can fly.
Re:we're all gonna die! (Score:1, Funny)
The Hunt For Red October as Sam Neil's character dies:
"I would like to have seen Montana."
Jurassic Park as the guy in Venezuela is talking to the lawyer:
"Grant? You'll never get him out of Montana!"
Re:It was Wile E Coyote (Score:4, Funny)
On a completely different note, years ago when I discovered the Warner Brother's store in Fair Lakes Shopping Center (around Chantilly, VA) I went in and tried to order anvils and dynamite. They didn't have any
Re:Is this dangerous? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Old News (Score:2, Funny)
Black Hole-tel California?
Re:we're all gonna die! (Score:5, Funny)
Enjoy it while it lasts, goatse references that work are few and far between. Just like the man's cheeks.
God may not place dice (Score:3, Funny)
Anybody care to bet whether the black holes will be stable? I'm betting they will simply dissipate.
If they gobble up the whole universe, I'll pay one million dollars to each any every one of you, honest. If not, then you'll owe me.
Re:It was Wile E Coyote (Score:5, Funny)
Halfliife 2 is gonna be bettter than I thought! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:we're all gonna die! (Score:1, Funny)
"Deer Momy, I luv u. Lov Dubuya [sic]."
The sic makes it clear that the original letter is riddled with spelling mistakes, and they are not errors introduced by the person quoting the letter. Basically, you can use sic anytime you would like to say "what I just wrote is as it should be, I didn't make a mistake."
Re:Doesn't this seem dangerous (Score:3, Funny)
I believe that's the point.
--
Evan
Re:we're all gonna die! (Score:4, Funny)
Call Buckaroo Banzai [imdb.com]!
Keep in mind that time slows down... (Score:1, Funny)
Portable black holes? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:hawkings / blackbody / information theory (Score:3, Funny)
Ah, now I undestand the real reason of those experiments. Politicians all around the world are certainly eager to destroy information they don't like. Now finally, physicists seem to have found a way to reliably do so - therefore there's certainly a great interest of manufacturing those devices, as well as researching if they indeed destroy information.
Re:we're all gonna die! (Score:1, Funny)
Re:we're all gonna die! (Score:3, Funny)
Re:excellent, Smithers! (Score:3, Funny)
"I call it a Hawking-Hole"
"I'll just steer towards that Blackish-Holish thing"
Prof: "Fortunately, I had this wormhole installed in the middle of the table."
Fry: "Where does the other end come out?"
Prof: "You know, I don't know." [Looks through hole. Food splatters down from above onto his head. He reaches down through the hole and wipes his head off with a napkin.]
That's enough for now.
I'd like to point out... (Score:3, Funny)