Bombing the Moon for Water

s20451 writes "In 1998, NASA scientists deliberately crashed the Lunar Prospector into the Moon, in a failed attempt to detect traces of water allegedly hiding in deep craters at the lunar south pole. Now the BBC is reporting a new proposal to attack the lunar poles with "Bunker Buster" missiles to liberate a detectable amount of water. Called Polar Night, the mission is being proposed as part of the "Discovery" series of probes."

What is this MSNBC?

[OwnerOfWhinyCat]

They aren't going to attack the poles with "Bunker Buster" missles.

They're going to emplant "scientific equipment" "...a few meters below the surface of the moon."
Using "...probes are based on bunker-buster penetrators."

And when compared with the cost of sending up a [wo]man to dig a six foot hole for the same information, it sounds terrific. Let's Terraform!

What a great idea.

[thatguywhoiam]

While we're at it, let's fire a couple of bunker-busters at Mars, see if it's full of pudding.

How about this: let's not fuck with the moon. Anyone else get that chill sensation when they saw the crumbled moon in Time Machine? (crap film, but that one shot was really spooky)

Aha!

[Raul654]

First Iraq, then North Korea, and now the moon! The Lunans are conspiring against our interests abroad! Conspiracy, I say!

Liberate the water?

[Anonymous Coward]

new proposal to attack the lunar poles with "Bunker Buster" missiles to liberate a detectable amount of water.

We must free the water from its evil ruler Saddam Moonsein.

The outrage!

[Anonymous Coward]

They should give UN weapons inspectors more time!

In related news...

[DennisZeMenace]

The Moon has been added to the infamous "Axis of Evil" group...

Re:What is this MSNBC?

[Anonymous Coward]

ok, "implant"
To the misspelling untolerant, I apologize. :)

first..

[EugeneK]

.....the US has to make up some stuff about how the moon has WMD, supports terrorism, and insinuate that it was somehow involved in 9/11.

Hey!

[deadsaijinx*]

Guess what I just found out! It ends up there is lots of water on earth, and it's not even protected by rocks. No need to blow the place up to get it! ^^

okay, anyway, the only purpose for looking for water is to find life on the moon. By using missiles to release the water, we blow up any life we may have found, just a thought....

The moon has WMDs!

[KDan]

Really, my... fellow americans. *stares at camera* I strongly believe that the moon is currently harbouring all kinds... of weapons of mass destruction. They most definitely have nucular weapon facilities. They are a threat to our way of life, to our liberty... and to the liberty... of all the free people of the Earth *blank stare* And so it is with great sadness, but firmness of purpose, that we must carry on, with the help of God, and rid the solar system of weapons of mass destruction.

George

This just in from the Iraqi Information Ministry

[Anonymous Coward]

There is no moon. There never was a moon. We are winning the war. The moon is painted on the sky by evil Americans to confuse us. There is no moon.

Good idea...

[sevensharpnine]

And in related news, NASA officials recently announced an exploratory campaign will be taking place in Syria next week.

Finally!

[Anonymous Coward]

Bombing the moon? Finally: some astronomy that the Bush camp can get behind.

But what do the Dixie Chicks think?

[jj_johny]

"I am so ashamed to be from the same state that Johnson space center is in." - Natalie Maines

Who else here..

[stuckatwork]

...pictured Slim Pickens on a bomb in a space suit riding towards the moon yelling "whoo hoo", a la Dr. Strangelove?

For more info on this...

[dr_dank]

We turn to Geraldo Rivera, who is sketching a map in the dirt as we speak.

This is the ultimate job!

[mattsucks]

Remember when you were a kid, and wanted to be an astronaut? And remember also when you were a kid, how cool it was to smash things together just to see what would happen?

cheese

[DanThe1Man]

I think they are really just trying to find a better source for cheese.

Little know fact: The cheese mines on earth are dwindling

Re:Aha!

[Anonymous Coward]

I'd hate to be the one that unleashes Zemus/Zeromus from the moon! He's evil I tell you... eeeeeeeeevvvvvvvvvvviiiiiiiiiiiillllllllllllle!

British support forthcoming

[mao che minh]

In a scheduled press conference, British Prime Minister Tony Blair will announce that he fully supports the US action against the moon, much to the behest of the Labor Party.

Iraqi intelligence officials are reporting that the moon intends on defending itself against the crusaders to the end, and has already prepared the graves for thousands of imperialist satans.

Re:What a great idea.

[Wyatt Earp]

Why not fuck with the Moon?

It's a frickin' lump of rock is hanging up there.

Short of breaking it up, what's the harm?

Re:This just in from the Matrix

[SunPin]

I think you meant, "There is no spoon."

In Other News...

[limekiller4]

(Reuters) In other news, NASA unveiled plans today to hit Geraldo Rivera over the noggin with a ball-peen hammer to see if any brains could be detected in the ensuing plume. Critics claim that the odds of success are too small to warrant the effort.

Earth First!

[Wee]

We'll stripmine the moon later.

-B

Re:Liberate the water?

[Per Wigren]

Is he the real Saddam [cjb.net]? ;-)

friendly fire

[Anonymous Coward]

lobbing ordnance at the moon is probably the only way the US won't be able to either kill its own people or its allies. although i have a sinking feeling that the rocket will burn up somewhere ofer England and waste some british troops.

Re:This just in from the Matrix

[EpsCylonB]

I think you meant, "There is no spoon."

do sporks exist ?

Sounds like what Chairface Chippendale tried

[FearUncertaintyDoubt]

I guess we'll be seeing BUS carved into the moon's surface. No one will ever forget the President who tattooed the moon.

Re:first..

[EpsCylonB]

Luna is a rogue state, did they join the coalition against terrorism ?, do we need any more proof ?.

Re:Operation: Moon Freedom

[KDan]

Nah, I tried that and I got modded as -1 flamebait and -1 troll, for some odd reason. Mods must be on crack today.

Daniel

what do you mean?

[Anonymous Coward]

go U.S.A! we're totally going to KICK THE MOON'S ASS!!!

Re:Liberate the water?

[NanoGator]

"We must free the water from its evil ruler Saddam Moonsein."

Shut your black hole, you.

Re:first..

[Santos L. Halper]

Don't buy this crap that we are bombing it for water. We are bombing it for oil, pure and simple.

Ravine Change

[msheppard]

We should probably promote this as a "Ravine Change."

M@

made me think of this one:

[bauernakke]

http://www.salon.com/comics/tomo/2003/01/13/tomo/s tory.jpg

Re:What a great idea.

[unicron]

Here's your copy of "Gravity for Jackasses". Read that. When you're done, come back, and we'll continue the lesson.

Re:What is this MSNBC?

[spongman]

I think they've just run out of places to look for Osama Bin Laden.

Veto I say...

[NanoGator]

As a Frenchman, I cannot support this unilateral decision to liberate water from the moon. We must give the inspectors more time so we can better cover up our involvement with the moon. In the mean time, we (in France) are boycotting lawn darts in protest because we will not glamourize lobbing missiles at the moon.

However, should the Americans find water on the moon, we'll completely reverse our position.

Not to be excessively picky but…

[HalfStarted]

Just how exactly do you expect a Massive Ordnance Air Blast to work without the air? For those that need to be reminded... read [howstuffworks.com]

Mr. Show

[underwhelm]

David: We have the technology; The time is now; science can wait no longer; the children are our future. America can, should, must and will blow up the moon.

Bob: Yeah. And we'll be doing it during a full moon so we make sure we get it all.

Re:first..

[yoder]

The moon tried to kill my dad...

Shock and Awe

[jaywhy]

I can see how NASA plan came into effect, it was a simple meeting between George Tenet(CIA Director) and Donald Rumsfeld.

Rumsfeld: Tenet where is Osama Bin Laden?
Tenet: I have no clue! Maybe he's on the Moon? Hah.
Rumsfeld: Really?

Later that night...

Rumsfeld: Mr. President, I know where Osama Bin Laden is.
Bush: Where?
Rumsfeld: On the Moon!
Bush: BOMB THEM!!!

gads, the youth......

[Anonymous Coward]

...of today....all the references are to the crappy "Time Machine" remake.....

What about "Space:1999" ???!!!

Re:What is this MSNBC?

[Shoten]

NASA could probably sell this better to the current Administration if they ran with the bombs concept, and said that bin Laden might be hiding on the moon :)

will the bombs hit the moon?

[wannasleep]

I can already see the headlines... Bombs headed for the moon fell on the Red Sea, Turkey, Arabia, Syria, Jordan, Iran. And then the Pentagon denis, FOX doesn't report it all the rest of the World laughs about it and a week later, after showing a successfull attemp of bombing the moon, the Pentagon admits that some bombs fell slightly off-target (Sun, Mars, Alpha Centauri....)

The Lunar Information Minister

[phrenq]

The Lunar Information Minister denies that the Moon posesses water, and was quoted as having said, "There are no Earthling infidels on the Moon. Never! We welcome them with cheese and shoes!"

Re:This is the ultimate job!

[Drakonian]

Are you suggesting we smash astronauts into the moon??

Re:hmm

[Drakonian]

Did you even read the article?

You're new here aren't you? ;)

Re:what do you mean?

[hazem]

"By God, I think this is rather very unlikely. This is merely a prattle. The fact is that as soon as they land on the moon, we will besiege them and slaughter them. Wherever they go they will find themselves encircled." - Lunar Information Minister, Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf, on NASA forces

Re:What is this MSNBC?

[Anonymous Coward]

Dead babies make good soup!

Great...

[Anonymous Coward]

When Adam Selene starts throwing grain barges at
us in retaliation, just don't stand at ground zero.

Re:cheese

[skaffen42]

Uhm, does this mean I have to change my bumper sticker to read "NO WAR FOR CHEESE"?

The "Moon": A Ridiculous Liberal Myth

[Anonymous Coward]

It amazes me that so many allegedly "educated" people have fallen so quickly and so hard for a fraudulent fabrication of such laughable proportions. The very idea that a gigantic ball of rock happens to orbit our planet, showing itself in neat, four-week cycles -- with the same side facing us all the time -- is ludicrous. Furthermore, it is an insult to common sense and a damnable affront to intellectual honesty and integrity. That people actually believe it is evidence that the liberals have wrested the last vestiges of control of our public school system from decent, God-fearing Americans (as if any further evidence was needed! Daddy's Roommate? God Almighty!)

Documentaries such as Enemy of the State have accurately portrayed the elaborate, byzantine network of surveillance satellites that the liberals have sent into space to spy on law-abiding Americans. Equipped with technology developed by Handgun Control, Inc., these satellites have the ability to detect firearms from hundreds of kilometers up. That's right, neighbors .. the next time you're out in the backyard exercising your Second Amendment rights, the liberals will see it! These satellites are sensitive enough to tell the difference between a Colt .45 and a .38 Special! And when they detect you with a firearm, their computers cross-reference the address to figure out your name, and then an enormous database housed at Berkeley is updated with information about you.

Of course, this all works fine during the day, but what about at night? Even the liberals can't control the rotation of the Earth to prevent nightfall from setting in (only Joshua was able to ask for that particular favor!) That's where the "moon" comes in. Powered by nuclear reactors, the "moon" is nothing more than an enormous balloon, emitting trillions of candlepower of gun-revealing light. Piloted by key members of the liberal community, the "moon" is strategically moved across the country, pointing out those who dare to make use of their God-given rights at night!

Yes, I know this probably sounds paranoid and preposterous, but consider this. Despite what the revisionist historians tell you, there is no mention of the "moon" anywhere in literature or historical documents -- anywhere -- before 1950. That is when it was initially launched. When President Josef Kennedy, at the State of the Union address, proclaimed "We choose to go to the moon", he may as well have said "We choose to go to the weather balloon." The subsequent faking of a "moon" landing on national TV was the first step in a long history of the erosion of our constitutional rights by leftists in this country. No longer can we hide from our government when the sun goes down.

hard-landing

[jmarkantes]

"...sample the polar ice with three hard-landing probes"

Umm.. that's one way of putting it. Could be a handy phrase though in the future.

"The server didn't crash, it just hard-landed."

Jason

Re:What is this MSNBC?

[mahler3]

This isn't really news. The secret Bush administration plot to bomb the moon was scooped [salon.com], months ago, by that fine investigative cartoonist, Tom Tomorrow.

Or, consider another possibility:

"In other news today, a U.S. scientific mission to search for lunar water deposits revealed that the moon actually has a vast, hollow void in its center, occupying nearly 90 percent of the volume of the moon as a whole. This void is (or was) filled with water. Unfortunately, the hole left in the moon's north pole by the mission's explosive primary payload is allowing the water to rapidly boil off into space. Mission scientists estimate that it will be completely empty within a year.

"Meanwhile, officials at the Nuclear Regulatory Commission are said to be studying the feasibility of depositing nuclear waste in the now-vacant interior of the moon. Frightened residents of countries over which the moon passes are reportedly organizing to oppose this effort."

two words:

[otis wildflower]

Chairface Chippendale.

Re:what do you mean?

[Waffle Iron]

go U.S.A! we're totally going to KICK THE MOON'S ASS!!!

When we get done bombing that piece-of-crap spheroid it's gonna look like a figgin' moonscape!

Re:PhD in BomBing the Moon !

[carlos_benj]

Dang PhD's, settin' off a big ol' bomb when there's easier ways to do it. Whyn't send a dowser up there with a crooked tree limb. 'at'll tell if there's water! Shore glad muh proctologist don't have the same ideas when it comes to a probe....

Good Idea. Lets hope Dahak doesn't get annoyed

[EvilBastard]

Cause he'd get really annoyed at the decendants of the Mutineers [baen.com] trying to poke him with a pin to see if there's anything good inside

Re:what do you mean?

[Pharmboy]

go U.S.A! we're totally going to KICK THE MOON'S ASS!!!

Yea, just use a GPS guided MOAB and...oh wait....

Re:This smells fishy....sounds like a cover up to

[praksys]

Much more likely to be an attempt to destroy evidence of alien contact before the Chinese get there.

Re:What a great idea.

[SuperBanana]

Why not fuck with the Moon? Short of breaking it up, what's the harm?

Well, barely 100 years ago, half the planet thought the moon was made out of cheese. So, I think maybe we should study the thing which controls our tidal currents(and hence climate, marine life aka major oxygen source) a little bit better, before we go screwing with it.

Tsk tsk

[Tomble]

we're going to KICK THE MOON'S ASS!!!

Shame on you, you really shouldn't be reducing Operation Lunar Freedom to such jingoistic terms.

Re:what do you mean?

[redtail1]

You're against the bombing of the moon? What are you, unpatriotic?

Re:first..

[daveo0331]

President Bush has accused the Moon of aiding and abetting the Iraqi regime by lighting up the battlefield at night, nullifying the US advantage in night-vision technology.

In response, the President has ordered the USS Kitty Hawk to deploy to the Sea of Tranquility.

No Blood for Water

[Charcharodon]

Not in my name....yada yada yada

wa wa wa wa....give the inspections a chance.

Bombing the moon for water is nothing more than thinly veiled American aggression

I'm sure with a LPS (lunar position system), a seeing eye dog, and a big freaking arrow saying the moon is here, the UN would finally have the ability to find their own ass with both hands.

Instead of wasting perfectly good bunker busters that could be put to better use dropping soap on the French why not launch the Hollywood crowd into the moon. I'm sure their thick skulls could crack it wide open. At the very least it would help with global warming as the amount of hot air being created would drop nearly 40% annually.