Carmack Needs Rocket Fuel 662
Reality Master 101 writes "Saw an interesting post on the Experimental Rocket Propulsion Society BBS from John Carmack, who is working on an X-prize vehicle. Apparently he is having a lot of trouble getting Peroxide from the major suppliers, and is possibly thinking of helping someone set up a company to produce peroxide. With NASA's recent problems, there has been a lot of talk about promoting more private investment in rocketry. But how can it happen when the suppliers won't even sell peroxide to well financed, registered, X-prize teams? Anyone want to start a peroxide business?"
hair salons (Score:4, Funny)
Don't Help Him, Carmack is a Menace to Society (Score:1, Funny)
Now stop for a moment and think, What would have happened if Albert Einstein had worked creating amazing pinball games instead of creating the theory of relativity? Humanity would suffer! Jon carmack is unfortunately doing JUST THIS, using his gifts at computer coding to create games instead of furthering the knowledge of humanity. Carmack could have been working for NASA or the US military, but instead he simply sits around coding violent computer games.
Is this a waste of a special and rare talent? Sadly, the answer is yes.
Unfortunately, it doesn't stop there. Not only is Jon carmack not contributing to society, he is causing it's downfall. What was the main reason for the mass murder of dozens of people in columbine? Doom. It's always the same story: Troubled youth plays doom or quake, he arms himself to the teeth, he kills his classmates. This has happened hundreds of times in the US alone. Carmack is not only wasting his talents and intelligence; he is single-handedly causing the deaths of many young men and women. How does he sleep at night?
Carmack is a classic example of a very talented and intelligent human being that is bent on total world destruction. Incredibly, he has made millions of dollars getting people hooked on psychotic games where they compete on the internet to see who can dismember the most people. I believe there is something morally wrong when millions of people have computerized murder fantasies, and we have Jon Carmack to thank. Carmack has used his superior intellect to create mayhem in society. Many people play games such as quake so much that their minds are permanently warped. A cousin of mine has been in therapy for 6 months after he lost a 'death match' and became catatonic.
It is unfortunate that most people do not realize how much this man has damaged all the things we have worked hard for in America. Jon has wasted his intelligence, caused the deaths of innocent children, and warped this country forever. To top it off, he got rich in the process and is revered by millions of computer users worldwide. Perhaps one day the US government will see the light and confine Jon Carmack somewhere with no computers so he can no longer use his intelligence to wreak havoc on society.
It's perfectly understandable (Score:5, Funny)
John Pick me Pick me! (Score:3, Funny)
Me: Scientist bob, we need 40 barrels of the stuff by June so Carmack can launch!
Scientist bob: Uhh sir our plants total capacity is only 1 barrell a month!
Me: You fscking Idiot I didn't ask you what our capacity was! I gave you an order!
See you can tell, i'm leaps and bounds better than any other slashdotter here! Pick me Pick me John! Look i'll even put caps on your name!
They think he's a freaking terrorist (Score:3, Funny)
Quake apologists take note (Score:1, Funny)
Just you wait for the railguns and plasma weapons. Then you'll be sorry.
Carmack is fragbait. (Score:5, Funny)
Or to be even more cynical, it violates something I consider to be one of Life's Universal Rules, which is this: You should never threaten to cost someone more money than it would cost them to have you killed.
For instance, suppose there's a market need for 20 commercial/military/ISS flights per year, and the government's willing to pay $500M per launch. That's $500M x 20 = $10B a year in pork to use the shuttle and our current unmanned vehicle capabilities. Against that, nobody is gonna build cheap launch capability, because it'll soon be a better business strategy to simply eliminate anyone who comes close.
For instance, suppose Armadillo Aerospace develops tech that enables them to launch a satellite for $1M. With reduced costs, there might be a market for 100 launches a year versus 20. NASA space scientists are elated, because they can finally send an army of cheap probes to every planet, comet, and moon that tickles their fancy. And geeks (myself included!) will rejoice because we can finally read about all the cool science while we're vacationing at the Space Hilton.
The big problem with this lovely picture is that as soon as Armadillo announces its $1M-to-orbit vehicle, $BIG_CONTRACTOR realizes that even if they buy Armadillo outright, the $10B/year gravy train (20 comm/spy satellites at $500M each) is gonna come up $9.9B short (20 comm/spysats, plus 80 space probes and Space Hilton modules, at $1M per launch). Someone will realize that you can hire a lot of assassins and saboteurs for $9.9B.
Congressmen, upon realizing that Armadillo's success will soon mean $9.9B less pork to distribute to their districts, will conclude that a major campaign contributor has discovered an "intriguing" solution to both their respective problems.
Both groups will publicly lament the "accident" at Armadillo that resulted in the flash-combustion of all personnel, and bemoan their sysadmins for the fact that all the offsite backup tapes containing design and technical data were unreadable, and use the "accident" to remind the voting and taxpaying public that space still isn't quite ready for private sector involvement.
I wish Carmack and anyone else trying to provide cheap access to space the best of luck, but I fear for anyone who comes close to achieving the dream.
Best response to a Slashdotting (Score:5, Funny)
The plan (Score:3, Funny)
I know where he can get it (Score:1, Funny)
Re:What kind? (Score:4, Funny)
Considering it's a bunch of pimple-faced geeks, benzoyl peroxide.
Re:Peroxide (Score:5, Funny)
Blonde? (Score:3, Funny)
perhaps he should change his technique? (Score:5, Funny)
Dumbing down (Score:2, Funny)
Is John Carmack building a bomb? (Score:4, Funny)
I wouldn't put it past Carmack to construct a huge bomb. Everyone knows about his disturbing obsession with the occult (why else would he have made the Doom series like it is?) and his propensity for watching violence, so it's not at all outside the realm of possibility. There are many studies available that prove beyond a doubt that casual use of ultra-violent video games provokes violent behavior in children and adults alike.
Just imagine, if you will, what a person who is exposed to these influences for 12 hours or more per day, and becoming intimately familiar with them, is going to become. Exploring space? Ha! Not likely. But, with large amounts of peroxide that he is trying to procure, he could build a pretty damn deadly explosive device. And who better to do it than the guy who invented exit wounds and exploding body parts in PC gaming? I think the Department of Homeland Security should keep a very close eye on Mr. Carmack - Timothy McVeigh was able to do more with less, and he wasn't nearly as well funded.
Re:oops (Score:3, Funny)
Maybe not such a good idea? (Score:5, Funny)
It's a lie! (Score:2, Funny)
"Suck it down, Bitch."
Man, I would PAY to see Carmack knock Romero down and dye his hair blonde.
Re:hair salons (Score:1, Funny)
My sister had a friend who thought that people used bleach to bleach their hair and tried it herself. I don't think there was any permanent damage.
[/offtopic]
Re:What kind? (Score:2, Funny)
If you don't think your mother knows about (and probably enjoys) sex, you don't understand the pre-requisites of motherhood.
Re:hair salons (Score:5, Funny)
PEROXIDE FOR CARMACK! shouted the geeks, sometimes at their monitor, sometimes at their cat, sometimes at their lunch.
It was only the second time since the Karma-for-Guns campaign that Slashdot gained the attention of the public.
PEROXIDE FOR CARMACK! shouted the public, sometimes at their spouse, sometimes at the television, sometimes to the telemarketer.
And soon did legislators of the United States take up the cry, carrying the battle to the floor of the Congress itself.
PEROXIDE FOR CARMACK! shouted the legislators, sometimes at each other, sometimes at the TV cameras, sometimes at their aides.
And soon did the President of the United States take up the cry, carrying the fight to the United Nations General Assembly.
PEROXIDE FOR CARMACK! the president would shout, sometimes at France, sometimes at Germany, sometimes at the teleprompter.
And soon did the world take up the cry, rousing its collective might and pooling together a vast supply of peroxide which was soon delivered to the house of John Carmack. The only man who might have objected was Hans Blix, but the last anyone saw him, he was staring into the mirror, nodding his head slowly and sighing.
And so, one day, Carmack was driving John Romero back from the hair salon. His old friend was raving about this new catalyzing-gel they use. Romero then opened the door, and that's the last anyone saw him. They say the explosion was like "two hundred thousand quad-damaged rocket jumps."
Re:Carmack is fragbait. (Score:3, Funny)
$9.5B .. You still want to make a profit, bub.
I got some peroxide (Score:2, Funny)
It's kind of ironic the author of Quake is going to try and rocket-jump to outer space.
Peroxide shortage explained! (Score:2, Funny)
Try Iraq. (Score:4, Funny)
High Test Peroxide? (Score:4, Funny)
-FF
We'll be nice to them if they be nice to us.. (Score:4, Funny)
Ha! (Score:3, Funny)
What I want to know is.... (Score:4, Funny)
You didn't happen to conveniently place those drums next to the people guarding your facility, did you?
-Greg
Re:I know where he can get it (Score:2, Funny)
Re:I know where he can get it (Score:4, Funny)
Peroxide only bubbles on contact with a wound, but doesn't hurt.
It tickles! Sometimes I want to wound myself just so I can put peroxide on it, I love it!
Other times, I'm more sane.
Re:Not exactly general interest news, but... (Score:3, Funny)
Need any more programmers John? I'll work twice as long as anybody you've got for half the pay! I'll teach you how to play Quake 3. I'll even wash your car three times a week and wax it with a chamois. I'll personally distill your peroxide for you at no charge.
I'll be damned if I'm gonna test fly that rocket for you though, I mean, a man's got to draw the line somewhere.