Magnetic Poles May Be About To Flip 721
AGD writes "According to the Guardian, Earth's magnetic field - the force that protects us from deadly radiation bursts from outer space - is weakening dramatically. . The article goes on to say 'Earth's magnetic field has disappeared many times before -- as a prelude to our magnetic poles flipping over, when north becomes south and vice versa.'"
I remember seeing this on sightings years ago... (Score:3, Funny)
Hrmm (Score:5, Funny)
perhaps he better upgrade rudolph.
Is it time... (Score:1, Funny)
Photo (Score:1, Funny)
Wildebeest (Score:5, Funny)
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Could this be the end of the GNU project?!
Down under... not any more! (Score:5, Funny)
That's enough (Score:5, Funny)
Business model (Score:5, Funny)
2. Scratch out N, S, E, W
3. Replace with (in same order) S, N, W, E
4. Sell on eBay
5. Profit!!!
The Mayan calendar (Score:4, Funny)
Although, it could just be that the people who came
up with this couldn't think of any other reasons the world might end.
See An End of Days [artideas.com]
I'm sure it has something to do with (Score:5, Funny)
Damn! Better hurry to copy my floppy disks to CD (Score:2, Funny)
Where's the man with the Tinfoil Megaphone? (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Business model (Score:4, Funny)
Using "n) Profit!" in a post ensures an average mod up of 3.
Re:Damn! Better hurry to copy my floppy disks to C (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Down under... not any more! (Score:5, Funny)
Oh how I wait for such things.
OK, so we're all doomed (Score:5, Funny)
Arrrgg... More Radiation.... (Score:5, Funny)
Supposedly... (Score:4, Funny)
I really miss that show, though they still play re-runs. I used to sit in front of the TV with a tinfoil hat on.
Re:Business model (Score:5, Funny)
<duck>
woof.
Re:Down under... not any more! (Score:5, Funny)
Swap monitors? (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Can the sun do it, we should too (Score:5, Funny)
This is all because of the US elections (Score:4, Funny)
[TROLL]
Vote a Republican administration into power, and the next thing you know, the magnetic field is gone.
[/TROLL]
Re:The Mayan calendar (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Business model - the MS bug (Score:5, Funny)
Consultant: The MS bug (Magnetic Shift bug) is like the classic Y2K bug.
Businessman: What's that?
Consultant: It involved a near global catastrophy which occured aroung the 19th century. Only the speedy responce by excellent programmers saved civilisation.
Businessman: How does this affect me?
Consultant: You need a team of 25 programmers, at least, to write bug fixes for the software in your toaster so that it can cope with the reversal of the magentic field.
Businessman: But I thought the toaster is AI and can learn these things?
Consultant: Trust me - your toaster needs this because...
Businessman: OK, OK -sigh-, spare me the details... how much?
Consultant: -rubbing hands- Well...
Re:nope (Score:5, Funny)
Wow, what a fun loving, happy go lucky guy you are!
Do you work for NASA's PR dept? ; )
Re:This is all because of the US elections (Score:4, Funny)
Quit blaming the Republicans, this all started when Clinton was in office.
[/TROLL]
Four words (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Wildebeest (Score:5, Funny)
Missed the quote (Score:4, Funny)
What about our cassette tapes? (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Get real! (Score:5, Funny)
I'm pretty sure we are, just not from magnetic pole shifting.
Haven't we seen this movie? (Score:5, Funny)
EARTH IS DOOMED!
Solution:
President (played by Morgan Freeman) meets with Special Emergency Response Team, discovers that all primary systems designed to prevent the Destruction of Earth are useless because they were all designed to shoot down missiles from Korea and China. Cabinet advisor recalls a brilliant, 'loose cannon' scientist/oil rig captain/handsome hollywood actor who 'just might be able to save us.'
Handsome actor collects racially-diverse crew including both genders and several archetypes. They build a giant drill, which breaks at the last minute. Handsome actor has flashback to childhood, when he accidentally made a sinkhole in the beach with a toy shovel and is able to dig the remaining 10 miles with his fingernails and teeth.
Team plants Nuclear Device Designed to Save Us All From Certain Death and detonates it, but of course it just makes things worse. Handsome actor inserts wrench into Earth's core, solving the problem, and then dies of radiation poisoning after making love to the attractive, sweedish scientist whose role (other than that) in the movie is as vague as her scientific credentials.
That's just my idea, though. I'm sure theirs will be totally different!
Re:The Mayan calendar (Score:1, Funny)
If you count the number of seconds from the start of the year we call 1000 AD until 2038, you get the number 32756788800 - You might note that this is approximately 32768 * 10^6.
It's a little known fact, but all the destroyed Mayan 'books' you hear so much about were in fact exotic computerized records. Too late for their own sakes, they realized the folly of having used signed integers in their calenders. What did the past matter to the empire of the future, anyway? Alas, it was not to be. The Mayan economy collapsed under the monumental burden of fixing the mistakes of past centuries computer programming, and the society disappeared, absorbed by their Open Sores Aztec competitors, whom the conquistadors dealt with in their own time.
Beware modern-day Earthlings! The threat from without shall prevent you, too, from living to see the singularity which shall occur upon the date of the overflowing dates.
Re:This is all because of the US elections (Score:5, Funny)
Re:nope (Score:1, Funny)
Film's Solution? (Score:2, Funny)
Isn't that Hollywood's solution for everything?
Re:Wildebeest (Score:5, Funny)
Could this be the end of the GNU project?!
No, but HURD will definately be delayed.
Michael
IDEA! (Score:1, Funny)
During this period where no compasses would work, sue the crap out of all of the compass manufacturers for patent violation!
PROFIT!
With apologies to Mike Myers... (Score:5, Funny)
"So you see, Mr. Bigglesworth, I didn't want to destroy the entire frickin' world, but those Linux geeks really left me no choice. Reversing the earth's magnetic polarity was the only way it could be done without violating the DoJ consent agreement."
"Let's see...Start...Programs...World Control Devices...Disasters...Microsoft...where the hell..?"
"You seem to be trying to destroy the world. Would you like some help with that?"
"Clippy! Oh thank god. Begin 'Gates-Plan-B'. So long, Mr. Stallman. I hope there's a GNU version of 'Microsoft 1000-year Radiation Shield
*maniacal laughter*
Mmmmm.... (Score:1, Funny)
YEAH, yeah, yeah. Whatever. (Score:4, Funny)
"You Global Warmer Nutties. I'll stick with our energy company President and his opinions, after all, he's been good so far. Where is the evidence that the world is warming up because of mankind!?! SHOW ME!"
"AIIIIEEEEE!!!" (SUDDENLY CRUSHED UNDER TONS OF RESEARCH PAPERWORK GETTING DROPPED DIRECTLY ON TOP OF HIM)
Uh Oh... (Score:2, Funny)
Everything you know is wrong (Score:4, Funny)
The shift in the magnetic fields is being artifically sped up by a secret operation by the united states government. They are forcing the shift through an artificial process being carried out in the Aleutian Islands off the coast of Alaska. I do not know the technical details, but they are using some type of equipment to send waves into the core of the earth.
This is not some joke or troll post. Clearly you don't believe me, partially because I am posting as AC and for the fact that it sounds totally outrageous, and I clearly will be modded down. But I am posting this anyway so that history will show that someone did know about this while it was happenning.
Newsflashes! (Score:3, Funny)
Environmentalists point out that the weakening magnetic field and atmospheric heating over the past 200 years coincide with, and is obviously caused by, an increase in evil industrialism. Protest marches are planned from New York south to Washington DC, then south to New York.
California legislators met in emergency session today and passed new automobile magnetic emission legislation. The magnetic fields of automobiles are now required to be aligned with the Earth's magnetic field and of opposite polarity so as to stress the existing magnetic generator to stay in the present configuration. Experts estimate it will only cost $200 per car and safety is worth the investment.
Australia celebrated for one hour, then began studying how to make use of their new domination of the highly successful Northern Hemisphere. Chinese leaders met to consider what to ignore next.
In medical news, herbal supplement manufacturers point out that natural iron supplements contain particles which experienced past natural reversals, and thus will train your body to help it deal with future changes.
Entertainers point out that they've been working for decades under hot, bright, lights and filming around the world until they don't know which way is up. This hasn't changed them in the least, and they're still just ordinary human beings like you or me, stated a spokesperson for Gardeners To The Stars, makers of fine gardening products just like the assistants to the gardeners of the Stars use but available at quality discount stores near you.
Tomorrow's weather forecast is for increasing temperatures to one-hundredth of a degree higher than yesterday. A gentle wind from the sunrise direction will change to stronger gusty winds from sunriseport, and chance of scattered thunderstorm shields in the area. As always, when a thunderstorm is within view with the sun behind it, take the kids outside to play in natural air and rain until the storm has passed and it is time to seal the house up again.
In sports news: The World Championship of Bowling in Cleveland today was won by a newcomer from Kenya for the third year in a row. He believes his country has produces so many winners because their bowling alley construction program placed them deeper than other countries did. Sources say that oxygen enrichment of some national bowling training facilities is widely rumored but not yet proven.
Our next update will be in three hours, when your sundial is a the midpoint. You should turn off your generator until then and set your laser receiver in standby mode.
This has been a Coherent News Network production, the fastest news ever bounced off the fluorescent sky.
Vesilind's Laws of Experimentation: (Score:3, Funny)
1. If reproducibility may be a problem, conduct the test only once.
2. If a straight line fit is required, obtain only two data points.
Re:Down under... not any more! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:With apologies to Mike Myers... (Score:2, Funny)
See - Just look what happens when you hold a magnet up to him!
Re:OK, so we're all doomed (Score:5, Funny)
Yea, it will be the only thing powerful enough to carry all the lead shielding...
So much for Boy Scouts (Score:4, Funny)
Re:Down under... not any more! (Score:2, Funny)
Obligatory Monty Python Reference (Score:2, Funny)