Space Elevators: Low Cost Ticket to GEO?

Space Elevators: Low Cost Ticket to GEO? 429

Posted by michael on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @02:31PM from the seven-days-of-muzak-and-seven-more-to-go dept.

Crocuta writes "The current issue of Science News features a cover story that discusses the current developments in space elevator technology. NASA has been working on such devices for many years, but private companies such as Highlift Systems are now jumping on the space elevator bandwagon, no doubt seeing the huge potential profit in a low cost per pound delivery system. PhysicsWeb has a somewhat older, but much more technical article on the formation and structure of the carbon nanotubes that form the basis of the proposed tether cables. With a development like this, we could shoot entire boy bands into space and make the world a better place."

Space Elevators: Low Cost Ticket to GEO?

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Riiiiight... (Score:5, Funny)

by keep_it_simple_stupi ( 562690 ) writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @02:32PM (#4411432) Homepage

We have enough trouble getting stuck on elevators between floors in 5 story buildings. Could you imagine getting stuck half-way to the moon? They better be sure to put one of those bright red emergency phones on this bad boy.

Those of us already in orbit... (Score:5, Funny)

by mythosaz ( 572040 ) writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @02:35PM (#4411463)

Those of us already in orbit can't wait for the space elevator to be complete. Finally, we can get some cable TV.

Programming error (Score:2, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @02:36PM (#4411474)

Imagine asking for the basement, (floor -1), and getting sent to floor 65535 instead :-).

Re:Riiiiight... (Score:5, Funny)

by unicron ( 20286 ) writes: <unicron AT thcnet DOT net> on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @02:37PM (#4411488) Homepage

Maybe they've got one of those big ass staircases, like when a roller coaster breaks down.

It'll be just our luck... (Score:5, Funny)

by GeneralEmergency ( 240687 ) writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @02:38PM (#4411498) Journal

. ...that when it gets built, the Longshoremen will insist that loading and unloading it is a union job.

.

heres another low cost ticket to GEO (Score:3, Funny)

by night_flyer ( 453866 ) writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @02:38PM (#4411499) Homepage

cant get much lower [autotrader.com]

The Babel effect (Score:5, Funny)

by L. VeGas ( 580015 ) writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @02:39PM (#4411503) Homepage Journal

The problem with something this tall is that it will inevitably be destroyed, and we will be scattered throughout the earth and forced to speak different languages.

I can just hear the laughter (Score:2, Funny)

by airrage ( 514164 ) writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @02:43PM (#4411544) Homepage Journal

I can just hear the laughter from outer-space:
"GLeebob, come here quick look what those silly humans are trying. Yup, they're trying the ladder-thingy. Remember when we tried the ladder-thingy..Ooooh, that was a dumb-idea. What will they do next, human-pyramid? Come on humans, bang those rocks together..."

Re:Riiiiight... (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @02:47PM (#4411577)

But would it still have to beep at every floor, or doesn't the ADA apply to space?

Re:Riiiiight... (Score:4, Funny)

by Kenja ( 541830 ) writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @02:48PM (#4411588)

Screw that, install a slide.

Re:Riiiiight... (Score:4, Funny)

by jmv ( 93421 ) writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @02:57PM (#4411660) Homepage

Yes, and by the time you're on the ground your ass is at 2000 degrees (choose your unit)...

*ding* (Score:5, Funny)

by joe_bruin ( 266648 ) writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @02:58PM (#4411668) Homepage Journal

top floor: shoes, ladies ligerie, space. please mind the gap.

It's easy (Score:4, Funny)

by theonomist ( 442009 ) writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @03:04PM (#4411707) Homepage

Cars will be drawn to the top of the elevator by a team of trained mules, hitched to a rope of a length roughly 1.8 times the circumference of the Earth. We anticipate only minor difficulties obtaining a right-of-way through most nations (with the possible exception of Sweden, because they're lame).

The mules will be fed and cared for by dedicated and highly trained staffpersons. At the end of their useful lifespan, most retired mules will be adopted by loving families everywhere. Unclaimed mules will be shot, as will be unclaimed members of loving families. Irresponsible and gratuitously hostile critics, who clearly do not have the best interests of humanity in mind, will be shot also.

On special occasions and international holidays, children of all races, creeds, colors, and nationalities, clothed in their quaint and colorful native garb, will be invited to throw superballs and apples from the top of the elevator. They will be charged only a nominal fee for this unique privilege. Highly sophisticated surveillance technology will enable all the world to enjoy the festivities!

We are now accepting investments in this historic, one-of-a-kind investment opportunity, not to be missed by the progressive and forward-thinking investors of our great nation. We anticipate incalculable earnings; we also anticipate neglecting to calculate them. Please give us all of your money right now and I promise you'll not regret having been so easily gulled.

Nah... (Score:5, Funny)

by McCart42 ( 207315 ) writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @03:06PM (#4411719) Homepage

Sounds like more of a Shelbyville idea...

Re:out of curiosity... (Score:3, Funny)

by (trb001) ( 224998 ) writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @03:07PM (#4411728) Homepage

How much could spiders' silk hold if it were that thick?

I can't answer that question, but I *can* say you'd need a lot of friggin spiders...

Re:GET SOME PRIORITIES! (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @03:15PM (#4411787)

[voiceover="tom selleck"]
Can you imagine a Beowulf cluster of low Earth orbit space elevators...

[voiceover="tom selleck", tone="enraged"]
SHOVED UP YOUR ASS?!!!
[/voiceover]

(damn Taco, what happened to &lt & &gt?!!)

uh oh... (Score:2, Funny)

by pitc ( 557530 ) writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @03:28PM (#4411888)

hopefully venus doesn't think we're trying to mate...

Re:Those of us already in orbit... (Score:5, Funny)

by km790816 ( 78280 ) writes: <wqhq3gx02 AT sneakemail DOT com> on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @03:40PM (#4411975)

Our tax dollars at work: The guys on the space station are reading /.

Geeze.....

Cheaper Solution (Score:5, Funny)

by DaytonCIM ( 100144 ) writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @03:41PM (#4411986) Homepage Journal

Instead of spending billions to perfect a safe, efficient delivery method why not just unravel the world's largest rubber band ball [recordball.com]; tie them all together; and shoot the boy bands (one at a time for greater distance) into space?

Forget the space elevator.. (Score:3, Funny)

by Frank of Earth ( 126705 ) writes: <frank AT fperkins DOT com> on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @03:49PM (#4412047) Homepage Journal

.. and get on board with my idea for space rubberband.

Inspired by RoadRunner cartoons and a 6 pack of beer, I was able to sketch out a design that would launch anything we wanted into space without fear of terrorist attack.

1) Dig hole 2 miles deep.
2) Build giant rubberband
3) Stretch giant rubberband over hole
4) Put cargo on top of rubber band.
5) Tie Star jones to rubber band
6) Drop Big Mac in hole
7) Jones drops. At the low point, right when the rubber band stops stretching, special release latch disengages Star Jones from rubber band thus saving Star Jones for next launch.
8) Cargo goes shooting up into space
9) Star Jones eats Big Mac making increasing thrust for next launch.

Yeah, I know I know.. after a few launches I would have to switch it up with KFC, Taco Bell and BK.

[Sadly, a coworker had to help me with the physics]

Anyone know the email to Nasa so I can get them working on this?

Re:I've said it before (Score:1, Funny)

by Anonymous Coward writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @03:49PM (#4412050)

Of course, my estimates are open to dispute, and I could be wrong. But I don't care: the space elevator is cool!

No worries. Welcome to Slashdot.

Re:Those of us already in orbit... (Score:3, Funny)

by Alsee ( 515537 ) writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @03:52PM (#4412064) Homepage

Cable TV? Bah. The satellite reception up here is great!

-

Re:On the other hand... (Score:2, Funny)

by HedRat ( 613308 ) writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @04:11PM (#4412177)

You'll probably wish it had been a quicky after listening to two weeks of "The Girl From Ipanema".

Re:The gov't doesn't have to fund it (Score:4, Funny)

by Cpt_Kirks ( 37296 ) writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @05:40PM (#4412711)

Microsoft could build this thing *OUT OF* cash!

That's a long time... (Score:2, Funny)

by mtec ( 572168 ) writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @06:29PM (#4413011)

...to pretend the other people aren't there.

(Like we do in elevators now)

Re:GET SOME PRIORITIES! (Score:3, Funny)

by ErikZ ( 55491 ) writes: on Tuesday October 08, 2002 @09:43PM (#4413982)

Eh?

How many missles travel at 24,000 miles an hour?

Re:Riiiiight... (Score:2, Funny)

by cravian ( 256739 ) writes: on Wednesday October 09, 2002 @08:09AM (#4415836) Homepage

> (choose your unit)

You may have to, from a range of plastic replacements if you've come down from low orbit on a slide at 2000 degrees...

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Space Elevators: Low Cost Ticket to GEO? 429

Space Elevators: Low Cost Ticket to GEO? More Login

Space Elevators: Low Cost Ticket to GEO?

Riiiiight... (Score:5, Funny)

Those of us already in orbit... (Score:5, Funny)

Programming error (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Riiiiight... (Score:5, Funny)

It'll be just our luck... (Score:5, Funny)

heres another low cost ticket to GEO (Score:3, Funny)

The Babel effect (Score:5, Funny)

I can just hear the laughter (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Riiiiight... (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Riiiiight... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Riiiiight... (Score:4, Funny)

ding (Score:5, Funny)

It's easy (Score:4, Funny)

Nah... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:out of curiosity... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:GET SOME PRIORITIES! (Score:1, Funny)

uh oh... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Those of us already in orbit... (Score:5, Funny)

Cheaper Solution (Score:5, Funny)

Forget the space elevator.. (Score:3, Funny)

Re:I've said it before (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Those of us already in orbit... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:On the other hand... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:The gov't doesn't have to fund it (Score:4, Funny)

That's a long time... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:GET SOME PRIORITIES! (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Riiiiight... (Score:2, Funny)

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Riiiiight... (Score:5, Funny)

Those of us already in orbit... (Score:5, Funny)

Programming error (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Riiiiight... (Score:5, Funny)

It'll be just our luck... (Score:5, Funny)

heres another low cost ticket to GEO (Score:3, Funny)

The Babel effect (Score:5, Funny)

I can just hear the laughter (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Riiiiight... (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Riiiiight... (Score:4, Funny)

Re:Riiiiight... (Score:4, Funny)

*ding* (Score:5, Funny)

It's easy (Score:4, Funny)

Nah... (Score:5, Funny)

Re:out of curiosity... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:GET SOME PRIORITIES! (Score:1, Funny)

uh oh... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:Those of us already in orbit... (Score:5, Funny)

Cheaper Solution (Score:5, Funny)

Forget the space elevator.. (Score:3, Funny)

Re:I've said it before (Score:1, Funny)

Re:Those of us already in orbit... (Score:3, Funny)

Re:On the other hand... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:The gov't doesn't have to fund it (Score:4, Funny)

That's a long time... (Score:2, Funny)

Re:GET SOME PRIORITIES! (Score:3, Funny)

Re:Riiiiight... (Score:2, Funny)

Related Links Top of the: day, week, month.

Slashdot Top Deals

ding (Score:5, Funny)