A Rock Moves In Space 846
theBrownfury writes: "The BBC is reporting here that
a very large Earth collision course asteroid has been discovered. This asteroid, NT7,
was first observed on July 5th and current data suggests an impact date of
February 1st, 2019. NT7 is 2kms wide and on date of impact will be approaching
Earth at 28km/s. An asteroid of this size is large enough to cause continent
wide destruction. However astronomers are still cautious in reporting this
asteroid as the orbit of NT7 has not been fully verified. Current data on
NT7's orbit suggests it orbits the Sun every 837 days and travels in a tilted
orbit from about the distance of Mars to just within the Earth's orbit." The BBC article's headline (and accompanying illustration) are more alarming than the story itself seems to warrant: this asteroid has been given a 0.06 on the Palermo technical scale, which means it shouldn't bump getting run over by a llama off your list of worries.
Drivers (Score:4, Funny)
Listen to the Simpsons. (Score:5, Funny)
Hrm (Score:2, Funny)
Big boost for space tech if it is on course... (Score:5, Funny)
Nothing like a crisis to focus the mind, eh?
terrorist! (Score:3, Funny)
Vegas Odds (Score:2, Funny)
NT7 (Score:5, Funny)
Quick, before it's too late (Score:4, Funny)
Now we know where Bill Gates came from... (Score:3, Funny)
London tabloids (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Big boost for space tech if it is on course... (Score:5, Funny)
run over by a llama? (Score:4, Funny)
well i was caught in a llama stampede when i was younger, so anyone within a 1000 mile radius of me might wanna consider moving...
Re:Big boost for space tech if it is on course... (Score:4, Funny)
16 years and 7 months.
And you thought NT 3.51 was bad? (Score:3, Funny)
On the other hand, announcing a product 17 years before it hits, come on, that's not really serious, even by NT's standards.
You think you know about programming? [sf.net]
Re:Quick, before it's too late (Score:2, Funny)
And for the love of all that's holy, somebody start having sex with Liv Tyler!
Again? Okay, if it will help save the planet. Hold my calls, I'll be back in a few days...
Hooray! (Score:3, Funny)
If we let this news ruin the next 17 years... (Score:2, Funny)
Petition NASA! Blast it out of the way now! (Score:4, Funny)
Re:a moral imperative (Score:5, Funny)
and won't *you* feel like shit if she still says no?
Nah (Score:2, Funny)
They will probably just repeat the Windows ME trick, and release "Windows CANDY" in 2019 (so that they could confuse consumers into thinking that that thing MS Marketing had been talking about so long had actually been delivered on), then release the real goods two years later. Rather than the promised 2km asteroid that ends all life on earth, "Windows CANDY" will just be a baseball-sized rock that lands in Ontario, Canada, killing a small boy's pet dog.
So we should be safe from the asteroid until 3rd quarter 2021 at least, at which point it won't matter becuase the UNIX Date Rollover Bug will have plunged the world into anarchy and killed everyone by that time anyway.
Re:Vegas Odds (Score:5, Funny)
Life imitates SatireWire (Score:3, Funny)
Ah, Those Brits (Score:5, Funny)
In short, definitely unwarranted.
BlackGriffen
I've done a little research and.... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:a moral imperative (Score:3, Funny)
you can't make somebody love you
you can only stalk them and hope they panic and ive in...
Re:Nah (Score:3, Funny)
Re:Quick, before it's too late (Score:4, Funny)
an asteroid of this size is large enough to cause continent wide destruction
so even if the asteroid turns out to really be on a collision course, we have a 1 in 7 chance of not getting hit. I'll take those odds to Vegas any day.
But if you really think it'll help, i'll get right on the sex bit.
Time's running out! (Score:5, Funny)
Heh teasin =)
Next up: (Score:5, Funny)
Bummer.. (Score:4, Funny)
Re:terrorist! (Score:2, Funny)
asteroids? (Score:5, Funny)
Re:Pull it into Earth orbit and... (Score:5, Funny)
Well im fresh out of tractor beams today, and I think at 28km/s I wont be pulling along side it in the Pinto. But fear not it will have a use!
We will finally be rid of Britney Spears.
Re:Hooray! (Score:1, Funny)
Big deal... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Quick, before it's too late (Score:4, Funny)
*Sigh* If I must...
Re:terrorist! (Score:1, Funny)
Re:Big boost for space tech if it is on course... (Score:5, Funny)
We have finally decided on the location for the meeting for the committee that will determine the budget proposal for the committee to plan the catering for the blue-ribbon commission for the removal of the asteroid threat.
Re:And you thought NT 3.51 was bad? (Score:4, Funny)
Oh, crap. Let's see:
1) it's from Microsoft,
2) it's got literally tons and tons of bugs.
Obvious conclusion:
We're all dead because it's bound to crash!
Re:Pull it into Earth orbit and... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Why isnt the world testing deflection technolog (Score:4, Funny)
Well, that's just the problem with our outdated patent system. Not enough incentive for developing killer astroid deflection systems. Before you get the chance to make your royalties, you find out the end of the world is just past your expiration date and those damn generic solutions and open source hackers are already waiting in the wings to save humankind for basement bargin prices. If you want to make any money at all you've pretty well gotta tie up your application for as long as possible and then slap injunctions on all the would-be good samaritan heroes with some killer submarine claims. We can only hope that they'll increase the term for anti-apocalyptic devices - otherwise I just can't think of any incentive to innovate.
Crisis in Washington (Score:5, Funny)
The President later appologised for his mistake blaming it on terrorists who had sabotaged his statement.
A solution! (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Quick, before it's too late (Score:3, Funny)
Also, are we so consumed with the fossil fuel "crisis" that when a killer asteroid is found on course for earth our first reaction is, "send someone up there to find out if it's got any oil?"
Palermo scale (Score:3, Funny)
You mean slashdot-like moderators can save us from asteroids just by modding the rock down?
I'm impressed!
Better a rock than me.
Re:Big boost for space tech if it is on course... (Score:2, Funny)
A real threat we would never be told about (Score:2, Funny)
Last thing people want is a whole continent of people on the run.
Re:Big boost for space tech if it is on course... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Vegas Odds (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Pull it into Earth orbit and... (Score:1, Funny)
2.
3. Profit!
Lies, lies... (Score:2, Funny)
-psyco
Re:Quick, before it's too late (Score:3, Funny)
I hope it's Canada.
Oh, wait....
DNF (Score:2, Funny)
quoteth : "On the other hand, announcing a product 17 years before it hits, come on, that's not really serious, even by NT's standards."
/. :
The following story will be on
Duke Nukem Forever Released!
Posted by CmdrTaco'sKid on Thursday January 31, @10:00
from the just-in-time dept.
Look on the bright side (Score:3, Funny)
Suddenly it doesn't seem like much of a problem anymore, does it?
NT7... (Score:2, Funny)
Re:Pull it into Earth orbit and... (Score:3, Funny)
How about making a Deathstar?
Re:Quick, before it's too late (Score:3, Funny)
It depends on whether you're an optimist - one's half full, the other's half empty.
Taco Bell (Score:2, Funny)
Bugs? (Score:2, Funny)
Oh wait, I've been watching too much sci-fi...
Never mind...
Re:Don't laugh yet.. :( (Score:4, Funny)
If it's something from far away, then unless it were going really fast it wouldn't get here yet.
If the aliens are running NT 7... (Score:2, Funny)
Even more critical.... (Score:2, Funny)
Asteroid to hit tommorow (Score:3, Funny)
Reuters
Today in the 17th year of the anti-terror extended presidency, Bush urged everyone on Earth to pray to Jesus to stop the asteroid. He blamed democrats for stopping all efforts to divert destruction but said he had faith everything would be "hunky-dorey."
A summery of the anti-asteroid efforts are as follows:
2002: Republicans reject idea that asteroids exist.
2004: A bill funding more science is rejected as "pork barrel".
2006: Republicans reject theorey asteroids have ever hit Earth in it's 4000 year history, and therefore never will.
2008: Republicans admit asteroids may exist, but if one did hit the Earth it wouldn't be that bad.
2010: Despite mounting evidence that the asteroid will have a direct hit, Bush rejects the science as "shakey and controversial."
2012: UN resolution on asteroid vetoed by US as being too intrusive.
2014: Senate plan to stop asteroid rejected by Bush as "too costly." Tax cut for rich is passed.
2016: Emperor Bush rejects an internation coalition to stop the asteroid as "flawed."
Re:Don't laugh yet.. :( (Score:3, Funny)
Calm down? CALM DOWN? You just mentioned three ways the human race could be annihilated that I've never even thought about and there's not a damn thing we can do about it and you want me to CALM DOWN? Well YOU can calm down mister, I'm going out to buy a tin-foil helmet RIGHT NOW!
However what about global earth warming? Oil resources? Malaria? The pest coming back?
Better make that a tin-foil helmet AND a copper torc bracelet!