Elements 116 and 118 are Bogus?

prostoalex writes "In this era of corporate misbehavior and overstatement of results who can you trust? Scientific sources, of course. Well, turns out people at Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory lied about their discovery of elements 116 and 118. Associated Press has the story, quoting the lab officials charging the researchers with "scientific misconduct"."

Anyone wanna buy my 117 stock?

[Bigger R]

I have this sinking feeling prior earnings may have been overstated...

And in related news...

[WPIDalamar]

And in related news... Element 142 nicknamed CowboyNealium has been discovered by a crack team of wallruses in antarctica.

Look on the bright side

[CarrionBird]

At least they didn't go shredding atoms.... [rimshot]

Looks as though they at least get the message that belated honesty is better than none at all.

This is terrible news!

[jjohn]

I just ordered a new case for my dual Athlon Linux box made of Ununhexium [webelements.com] with Ununoctium [webelements.com] details! Man did I get screwed...

This guy is going to be pissed...

[teamhasnoi]

Angry Woodworker [mathpuzzle.com]

Here is the /. [slashdot.org] story.

In related news....

[billbaggins]

Stock in Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory plummeted in afternoon trading, while the head researcher vigorously denied rumors that Arthur Andersen had provided proofreading services for the paper in question...

New table of elements

[CaffeineAddict2001]

Despite much funding from nestle:

Choctonium:
Atomic Number: 118
Atomic Weight: Delicious

will now have to be eliminated from the table.

Correct Element Names

[Anonymous Coward]

So what you're really saying is that they HAVE discovered Unobtanium and Younoseeum!

Newsflash: Microsoft claims to "own" Carbon..

[TibbonZero]

Microsoft has claimed the patent and IP on the element Carbon. This in effect stomps out two things.
It makes it so that Microsoft owns everyone, BUT they are only going to charge 1/1000c per year to use each carbon atom. This means that each person only owes a million or so a year. This also helps them control the judges, as they can now technically "own" them too.

A smaller note: now they can sue apple for using the name "carbon" for their OS products.

Only on element 118?

[azadrozny]

I create element 120 in my kitchen sink. Look for my research to be published next month. I plan to call it slashdotium.

When will they learn?

[Helmholtz Coil]

Very silly to pin the blame on one individual in the research group. Don't these guys read? Don't they know disgruntled physicists, especially when they're disgraced atomic/nuclear scientists, always come back as super-villains to wreak their vengeance on their enemies and an unsuspecting world?

How long before their suspect builds himself an atomic-powered titanium alloy suit with miniature particle accelerator blasters?

Mmm...

[writermike]

Krabappel:"Who can tell me the atomic weight of bolognium?"

Martin: "Delicious?"

Krabappel: "Correct. I would also accept snacktacular."

Interesting...

[thewheeze]

So when should I expect to see the girls of Lawrence Berkley issue of Playboy?

Re:This is terrible news!

[Anonymous Coward]

Lucky for me, my Unobtainium case arrived yesterday. :)

Re:And in related news...

[Dimensio]

Um, you need to learn the difference between "crack team" and "crack-smoking team". Those two phrases have very different meanings.

Re:In related news....

[plover]

Don't you mean " Stock in Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory decayed rapidly..."

Re:Only on element 118?

[Kredal]

Slashdotium is a compound, formed in the reaction of a troll dipped in flamebait, while compressed under the tremendous pressure of 250,000 mice all clicking on the same phrase in a story, thereby destroying the site thus linked.

The compound is usually responsible for melting down servers (unless they're powered by Linux running on a Game Boy or C64!)

Re:And in related news...

[Anonymous Coward]

Scientists are taking up spots in the periodic table in what as knows as "Element Squatting"...

Re:Old News

[WEFUNK]

And furthermore, the results were falsified (and then retracted) by the growing international conspiracy against fair use of used textbooks, forcing first year physics students to buy new editions every year.

Thanks alot dimwit

[dh003i]

So, thanks to this dimwit, we have the re-number all the elements after 118...just freakin' great...that makes me real happy, since I just memorized every element in the PT and its number...now I have to relearn them all over again. ;-)

Element Naming

[Tablizer]

The new names for these elements will be
"Fibbium" and "Bogusium"

Re:Ninov also discovered 112 (Ununbium)

[Anonymous Coward]

He probably realized "Ununbium" was a dumb-ass name and wanted to try again.

Don't tell me..

[solarrhino]

...Arthur Anderson was supposed to audit the research, right?

Wake up call: More Fraud and Fabrications

[Anonymous Coward]

In related news, an increasing number of scientists are coming to acknowledge the growing body of science which proves that the conclusions drawn from the field of "evolutionary biology" have been based on fabricated research.