The Future of MREs

jonerik writes: "MSNBC features this article today about scientists at Washington State University who are attempting to perfect a way to add two staples of American cuisine - eggs and macaroni & cheese - to the US military's MRE ration packs. The problem has been that MREs need to have a shelf life of three years. The scientists have focused on microwaving the rations during the packaging process instead of the traditional method of boiling the contents (which alters the smell and color of eggs and cheese and makes pasta soggy)."

What, no Ramen noodles???

[Zico]

Didn't these scientists ever go to college?

Need Ingenious Guinness Widget Engineers

[jeepthang]

Just find those brilliant guys who invented the nitrogen "widget" in the Guinness can.

You open the eggs, macaroni and cheese. A capsule inside explodes, instantly cooking the meal to perfection.

Mmmmm... incinerated gruel.

-Jeepthang

But what about hot dogs and apple pie?

[dinotrac]

Macaroni and cheese?
What next?
Peanut butter and jelly?

I can see it now.

"Hey, soldier. Get up at the crack of dawn, lug around a hundred pound pack through all kinds of terrain, in all kinds of weather.
Maybe get shot at. Maybe have to shoot back.
Maybe get your sorry butt killed.

But if you manage to make it back to camp, you can have three year old mac and cheese."

Bet the recruiting lines are a mile long.

Rock or something ....

[reaper20]

Anyone ever wonder why the military, with its tomes of regulations and procedures succumed to the "Rock or something" on an MRE?

The little heater thingies (mmm, smell like acid), need to lean at an angle to work good ... so on the instructions there is a picture of a rock with an MRE leaning on it, and the caption for the rock is "Rock or something"

I may sound like a complete moron, but man, in the middle of the desert with no sleep, some dude brings up "Rock or something" and I keel over in laughter.

macaroni & cheese a staple?

[natslovR]

We may critisize the yanks for the americanisation of our world especially for spreading their crap tv, fast food and pop music to all 'corners of the globe', but i'm just SO glad they haven't contaminated Australia with that.... yet.

Coming soon to the battlefield

[mESSDan]

are some great products:

LBCs - Lazy Boy in a Can, for the soldier out on the battlefield that needs to relax for a while. Can be used with the ...

SBCCs - Superbowl Commericals in a Can, for the soldier caught out in battle and unable to tune into the superbowl. After all, who cares who wins or loses, the commercials are what count!

BJCs - Blowjob in a can. This was created by the sex toy industry, and was licensed by Uncle Sam for the "protection" of our boys overseas. (Has been tested under battlefield conditions.)

OBLCs - Osama Bin Laden in a Can, developed by army engineers with help from the "Dolly" project, this secret device will be used if we are unable to locate the real Osama Bin Laden. Everyday soldiers can have fun with their Osama in a Can by making him do silly stunts, and recording the insane hijinks on....

CCC - CamCorder in a Can. Send in your funny battlefield tapes to America's funniest Battlefield videos, and win an MRE!

I just had waaay too much fun with this ;)

MRE Trivia

[Agar]

Back in the day, before flavor was engineered to survive a 3 year shelf life, MREs were fondly referred to as "Meals Rejected by Ethiopians."

Anyone know other trivia?

In my day...

[Anonymous Coward]

I see a lot of whining here and tounge in cheek remarks. Usually, I am of the opinion that anyone ought to be able to say whatever they want, but unless you've ever been the poor bastard who drew the "HAM OMELET" MRE, (which I am convinced was congealed vomit) and had only that to eat for a day or so, you need to shut the fuck UP.

I've been on 80+ day field rotations, where sometimes it was MRE's, sometimes it was T-Rations, which is where basically a platoon shares a giant aluminum-packed MRE, and you really start to miss the MKT (mobile kitchen trailer), as little as you might have thought of it at the time when your unit had access to, and the use of one.

If you're really lucky, someone comes from the rear with a dozen or so mermites of REAL FOOD. If you are blessed with your own personal angel, you get picked to drive the Bn CSM back to the rear, and maybe get some of that good Anthony's Pizza! MMMMmmmmmmm.... my Sergeant Major, a surprisingly young guy for an E-9, by the name of MacDonald, said it best, during one of these rare outings...

"There's nothing like a good, hot piece of cheap, greasy pizza."

I couldn't have agreed more. The new bastards coming in to the army now, (and probably the other branches as well) have it soooo good. I'll point out a few differences: (Pvt=private)

Force XXI_______________________ In my army
Stress cards__________________DS' Puttin a boot in my ass
"Good morning Pvt's" _________ "Get the FUCK UP PVT'S!!!!"
DA Form 4856________________Wall to wall counseling
"Don't run on stairs"_____________"You better RUN up those goddamned stairs!!!"
Thousands of dollars just to sign up, millions for college...
_____________________GI Bill. That's it.
31 Flavors of MRE's ___________8 Flavors, only 5 of which are edible, plus a bonus- WWII era M&M's which tasted like soap. Yum!

Re:Strange the Canadian Army had both those meals

[jayed_99]

Oh yeah. Those French rations are fantastic. For some bizarre reason, they would trade them to us for MREs. (Well, at least once for any given individual). I think they did it so they could go back and laugh at the poor Americans.

Re:Strange the Canadian Army had both those meals

[los furtive]

Haha, if you got your chiefs you'd know that although they would never admit to it the instructors go through the box first and make sure they get what they want. I remember teaching armoured crewmen QL3 and sitting in the back of a Bison with 2 boxes of the nicest strawberry mousse cake you've ever seen. We gave the candidates one piece each with their supper and they thought we were god when we "rewarded" them with an extra piece around midnight, meanwhile we had each had at least 5 pieces to ourselves. Were we mean? The troops never thought so!