1st Cup Of Coffee: Hardening Your Arteries

mikewhittaker writes "A recent article on The Times refer to a report which indicates that the intake of caffeine from a single coffee can have adverse effects on your arteries and heart." Actually, it goes so far to say that the first cup of coffee is the worst. Of course, basically, anything you do is bad for at some level, so I guess it's choosing your poisons.

Easy fix

[geophile]

So skip the first cup of coffee and go right to the second.

Glad I switched!

[pgpckt]

a single coffee can have adverse effects on your arteries and heart.

Whew. That was close. Glad I switched to espresso!

Don't know,

[James Skarzinskas]

Don't know if you American folks have them, but there is a coffee restaurant called "the Second Cup" up here. Guess we know how they got their name now; attractive mottos like "Go anywhere else and you will die a slow and painful death" become effective if this news is publicized!

Water kills too.

[schwap]

I am suprised that there isnt more attention being paid to the excess consumption of water. A sudden change in elctrolites could cause a person's cells to burst. Why arent there any warning labels on bottle water?

I take it...

[gatesh8r]

Now in resturants we'll have a coffee and no coffee section along with having licences to permit the sale of coffee, not to mention age limits on who can buy coffee???

Imagine if you will:
Reefer: "Yeah, dude, I got this nasty shit from Columbia!"
Stoner: "Yo dude, gimme some of that..."
Reefer: "Ya gotta swollow 2 oz of those coffee grounds with hot water, dude!"
Stoner: "Cooooollllll... my parents will never figure it out! Sweet! I'll pay ya $2000 for it!"

CrAZy CoFFee StoRY

[standards]

What a crazy article! Since the article doesn't cite a source, one can conclude that the research hasn't been published yet.

And since the research hasn't been published, one can assume that the study has not been peer reviewed - or even hasn't been accepted as worthy science.

So therefore, no one knows if this study is the next greatest find, or just a piece of crap designed to grab headlines.

I suspect the later.

Precisely.

[Vic]

I would recommend the following strategies:

• Have a very small first cup of coffee to minimize its effects. Subsequent cups should increase in size, as each one gets better for you.
  
• Drink your second cup first, then follow it up with the first one. That will put you back to equilibrium.
  
• I'm sure you can come up with more.....health is all about creativity.
  

Cheers,
vic

No More Slashdot

[steelwolff]

No more coffee means no more reading Slashdot first thing in the morning.
This, of course, would improve workplace productivity in the key IT depts around the nation.
Therefore, a ban on coffee will lead to increased productivity and a rise in economic output, thereby solving the nations economic woes.

Therefore, drinking coffee is the cause of the current economic downturn.

But none of you have read this because you all just gave up coffee.

Nothing wrong with this logic.

coffee quotes

[FarHat]

* Turkish Proverb: "Coffee should be black as hell, strong as death,
and sweet as love."
* Sheikh Abd-al-Kadir (1587): "No one can understand the truth until
he drinks of coffee's frothy goodness."
* Sir James MacKintosh (18th century philosopher): "The powers of a
man's mind are directly proportional to the quantity of coffee he
drank."
* Johann Sebastian Bach (1732, an aria from his 'Kaffee-Kantate'):
"Ah! How sweet coffee tastes! Lovlier than a thousand kisses,
sweeter than muscatel wine! I must have my coffee..."
* David Letterman (Esquire Interview Fall '94): "If it wasn't for
coffee, I'd have no discernible personality at all."
* Chris Egolf (1993): "This damn pot is too fucking slow!"
* Wise New York City Homeless Man (1996, to Chris Egolf): "Son, you
need to get some coffee in you so people know you're alive!"

Play: Caffiene and Quake

[leonbrooks]

Scene opens with a programmer at his keyboard, with adjacent coffee pot producing delicious, stimulating caffienated mud.

• Begin: 100 health
  
• Drink 1st coffee: 90 health
  
• Drink 2nd coffee: 80 health
  
• Drink 3rd coffee: 71 health (decimals omitted for simplicity)
  
• Drink 4th coffee: 62 health
  
• Drink 5th coffee: 53 health
  
• Drink 6th coffee: 44 health
  
• Drink 7th coffee: 35 health
  
• Drink 8th coffee: 26 health
  
• Drink 9th coffee: 17 health
  
• Drink 10th coffee: 8 health
  
• Drink 11th coffee: -1 health, get sideways view of the floor.

Drink up! Yippeee...! Er...

• Enter a tall, thin chap in a black cloak and bearing a huge white feather, who sets about banishing you to the IPT.

Scene closes with programmer's workmates, each with coffee in hand, shaking their heads sadly as paramedics bear away a sheet-covered object on a stretcher.

My point: less harmful is not the same as harmless.

Ban Coffee

[fishbowl]

I think they should ban coffee, with the same force of prohibition that they ban marijuana.
It makes exactly as much sense.

misparsing?

[merlyn]

I had to read

the intake of caffeine from a single coffee can

three times before I figured out that it didn't mean "a coffee can", because I was trying to figure out how to drink from multiple cans instead.

deadly donut

[mudflat]

'The findings showed that the first cup had the most significant effect because caffeine levels in the blood had dropped during the night.'

There's a no-brainer. Drink a maintenance dose when you get up to pee in the middle of the night.

Re:Get your caffeine somewhere else!

[Anonymous Coward]

At this point, I believe it's incumbent upon you to actually define what you mean by "a good cup of coffee".

We have labels that we are supposed to stick on pots of coffee that we make here at work. Time of day, type of coffee, that kind of thing. I find that the pots I most frequently brew and label have "tar" written on them.

Re:Shame

[Shiska]

I guess the aluminum bowl I smoke my crack in isn't helping either. Or all of that black soot in my lungs. Fuck.

I dunno...

[CrudPuppy]

I've seen quite a few programmers, and I'm thinking
a good percentage will be adversely affected by
coffee LONG before they reproduce (and no, this
has nothing to do with the quantity of coffee they drink)

;)

The coffee still tastes like shit fudge chocolatte

[Anonymous Coward]

"that's why we should change the filter every month"

"But won't that take out some of the flavor"

"We wouldn't want that, now would we?"

"No sir, I think I'll post the results on slashdot. Everyone should know that the caffeine won't clog your arteries; the shit cake in the filter will."

That's correct, we should change the filter every month and only once to economize!"

"Right you are, CowBoyNeil"

"I'm glad we caught it too, Hemos, now go post it like it was somone else's study and not our own. I'll be back on Saturday, my roto-rooter operating will require me to recover on a hospital bed for about days. L8er."

"Goodbye, for great Allah. Bring Caffeine justice!"

Re:I take it...

[Judas96']

First Dupont or some beverage company has to come out with a synthetic beverage that they wouldn't even be able to market if coffee is around, since coffee is cheaper and more effective. Then they will lobby governments to make it illegal to import, possess, deal, or drink coffee. Then we will hear about how caffiene is a "gateway drug" that leads to crack abuse and moderating on Slashdot, as well as making people believe that information wants to be free and setting up peer to peer file trading servers. Eventually we will all be brainless drones drinking a beverage that comes in something similer to an oil can that also bears remarkable resemblance and chemical makeup to said combustible engine product, and fighting eachother over which brand is the best...

Subtle plot

[3ryon]

It looks like Microsoft will go to any length to get rid of Java!