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Researchers Discover How To Make the Perfect Phone Call
Posted by
samzenpus
on Wednesday November 19, @02:11PM
from the thanks-guys dept.
from the thanks-guys dept.
Having made amazing discoveries such as how to make the perfect cheese sandwich, linking heavy caffeine use to sleeplessness, and figuring out where all the teaspoons have gone, science has made the greatest breakthrough yet. They have uncovered the secrets of making the perfect phone call. The perfect phone call clocks in at a mere 9 minutes and 36 seconds, easily 11 minutes shorter than any conversation I've ever had with my mom. Unlike a call to mom, the perfect phone call is almost devoid of any gossip about her divorced neighbor and her heavily tattooed daughter. Instead three minutes should be spent catching up with news about family and friends, one minute on personal problems, a minute on work/school, 42 seconds on current affairs, 24 seconds on the weather, and 24 seconds talking about the opposite sex. What's left of your 9 mins 36 secs is a free for all.
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WTF samzenpus? (Score:5, Insightful)
This is not science.
This is not "stuff that matters"
This is not "news for nerds"
Why the hell are you posting this crap?
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Re:WTF samzenpus? (Score:5, Funny)
This is not science.
This is not "stuff that matters"
This is not "news for nerds"
Why the hell are you posting this crap?
You should call samzenpus up and have a good 9 minute 36 second disucssion about this.
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Parent
Re:WTF samzenpus? (Score:5, Funny)
I doubt it would be a perfect phone call due to the 9 minutes of reaming.
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Parent
Re: (Score:2, Informative)
Re:WTF samzenpus? (Score:5, Insightful)
Idle was created for this very reason... yet it's polluting science.slashdot.org
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Parent
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
> Why the hell are you posting this crap?
They needed someplace to show off all of Shampoo's inventions.
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
Then needed one more excuse to use the Bush with the phone upside down picture before having to switch to the Obama one. [snopes.com]
Re: (Score:3, Informative)
Silly me (Score:4, Funny)
In my world, a perfect phone call wouldn't involve my mother at all.
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Re: (Score:2, Funny)
Re: (Score:2)
In my world, the only reason to have a phone is for accoustic coupling......who needs to talk when you have a TTY terminal.
Layne
Re: (Score:3, Funny)
In some one's world, a perfect phone call would involve your mom.
Re:Silly me (Score:4, Funny)
Would seem silly to use the phone to make a call from the basement to upstairs.
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Parent
Rather (Score:2, Funny)
Why doesnt the BBC use slashcode in forums (Score:3, Funny)
If only they could discover how to make the perfect first post.
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Daughter? (Score:4, Funny)
Is the heavily tattooed daughter single?
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Re:Daughter? (Score:4, Insightful)
Is the heavily tattooed daughter single?
that is surprisingly the most relevant post to Slashdot so far.
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Parent
"Perfect?" Standards? (Score:5, Insightful)
Has "perfect" taken on a new meaning? The summary didn't explain, and neither did the freaking article as to what they mean by "perfect" or "ideal." Is this merely what the researchers themselves prefered? "9:36 is the ideal time, because that's exactly how long it takes me to walk from my lab to my house."
NOT SCIENCE DAMNIT!!
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Perfect phone call (Score:3, Funny)
"Profane Muthafucka, It's for you"
"Tell them I'm on the toilet and if it's important they can send me an email."
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My perfect phone call (Score:2)
- 5-8 hours long
- Speaking to a member of the opposite sex who I am romantically interested in
- May or may not be G-rated in parts
- Costs under $2
- (Definitely not a phone sex line - never called one of those)
Re: (Score:2, Funny)
Hey guys!! Come look at this. There's a girl on /.
http://slashdot.org/~syousef
And the king of calls is the Prison / jail call (Score:3, Funny)
And the king of calls is the Prison / jail call.
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Now what (Score:3, Funny)
Instead three minutes should be spent catching up with news about family and friends, one minute on personal problems, a minute on work/school, 42 seconds on current affairs, 24 seconds on the weather, and 24 seconds talking about the opposite sex
I am currently doing your heavily tattooed daughter, who I've meet at work, under pouring rain. There, covered, family, work, current affairs, weather and opposite sex. Should I hang up or use the 9 minutes 36 seconds on the details?
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Lost Teaspoons (Score:4, Funny)
I just read the lost teaspoons article and I have to admit it was actually kind of interesting and funny. If they had been able to draw any real conclusions it's almost IgNobel worthy. My favorite part came at the end, when they surveyed the people they had been researching. Of the people that responded to the survey, "Thirty six (38%) were male, 57 were female (61%), and one was undecided."
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for chicks, maybe (Score:5, Insightful)
That may be a perfect phone call for chicks, but 9:36 is WAY too freaking long for guys.
Perfect guy phone call:
*ring*
Guy 1: Hello.
Guy 2: Hey man, I'll meet you at the *bar/your place/bowling alley/casino/strip club/etc.* in 30 minutes.
Guy 1: Cool.
*click*
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