You, Too, Could Be Batman In 10 To 12 Years

jmcbain tips a fascinating interview in Scientific American with a professor of kinesiology and neuroscience (and a 26-year practitioner of Chito-Ryu karate-do). The question was, how much training would it take for a normal person to become Batman? The professor says: "You could train somebody to be a tremendous athlete and to have a significant martial arts background, and also to use some of the gear that he has, which requires a lot of physical prowess... In terms of the physical skills to be able to defend himself against all these opponents all the time, I would benchmark that at 10 to 12 years." The problem is, even after that amount of training, no one could remain on top of their game for more than a few years. And "Batman can't really afford to lose. Losing means death — or at least not being able to be Batman anymore."

Then we'd need to train a bunch of people...

and replace them as they 'fail' ... that way we've always got a batman.

Re:Then we'd need to train a bunch of people...

That would be an insane morale buster for the bad guys. Say you knife the Batman -- actually see your knife tear into his guts -- but he shoots his BatRope and BatDisappears for ten minutes. When he comes back he's replaced and as strong as ever, but you don't know that. All you know is that the Batman can't be killed. Maybe he's an immortal?? Maybe he's a demon?? It would be like one of those bunker busters that just completely deflate the enemy..

Re:Then we'd need to train a bunch of people...

and replace them as they 'fail' ... that way we've always got a batman.

I am not the real Batman. My name is Ryan; I inherited the Batmobile from the previous Batman, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Batman either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Batman has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia.

Re:Then we'd need to train a bunch of people...

>I am not the real Batman. My name is Ryan; I inherited the Batmobile from the previous Batman, just as you will inherit it from me. The man I inherited it from is not the real Batman either. His name was Cummerbund. The real Batman has been retired 15 years and living like a king in Patagonia.

Inconceivable!

Glad I don't subscribe to Scientific American

The problem is, even after that amount of training, no one could remain on top of their game for more than a few years. And "Batman can't really afford to lose. Losing means death â" or at least not being able to be Batman anymore."

So, after all that, we should all stick to our day-jobs? Thanks Slashdot, you saved us again!

Re:Glad I don't subscribe to Scientific American

Looking at Scientific American articles from even fifty years ago, let alone a century, shows how sadly dumbed down the magazine has become. It used to target a readership of average citizens who were keen on the nitty-gritty of scientific developments. Now it all flash and no substance, little different from Popular Science. The lesson American media teaches us: nothing good is every ultimately profitable as is.

Re:Glad I don't subscribe to Scientific American

If you want magazine that does a good job summarizing recent developments in science in layman's terms (or pretty close), I've found Science News [sciencenews.org] to be pretty good. I certainly enjoy reading it, and I feel they do a good job of summarizing without dumbing down.

its pop science

pop science is important. it is a gateway to serious science for many youngsters and average joes

you are dismayed it does not feature serious science

ok, so go read something else

why the hate for a magazine of pop science?

it serves a valuable function. are you angry that some obscure technical journal is not popular? so why are you angry that a piece of pop science is doing what a piece of pop science must do?

if it is serious science, it is relegated to obscurity, as a rule. because it needs to be digested for the masses, where anything popular takes place

why don't you understand this?

Re:its pop science

Scientific American as it was had a unique role, presenting things in an approachable fashion but still being quite rigorous. It's shift towards a wider demographic means that there is no longer a magazine at that level. In terms of popular science magazines, there's already Discovery and Popular Science, so it's not as if without the new SA there would be no science gateways for young people.

Bonk

I've still yet to figure out how I can get things like "Bam, Pow, Biff, Boom" to pop out in the air when I hit people. I think that would require more training than anything else.

Why spend all that time training

when you can just get hit in the head [youtube.com].

How many years for the morals?

10 to 12 years for the physical training, but Batman was more than physical ability. He was in a position to determine right and wrong. That takes a lot longer to learn and not everyone is capable of such a task.

Re:How many years for the morals?

A large portion of the Batman storyline revolves around the question of whether or not that's really true.

One of the more poignant observations made in the comics was by Commissioner Gordon when he pointed out that there were always regular criminals in Gotham before Batman arrived, but there weren't any supervillians until after Batman made room for them.

Re:How many years for the morals?

Haven't you heard. Might makes right. So training for the skills is the same as training for the morals.

Obligatory Neal Stephenson:

Until a man is twenty-five, he still thinks, every so often, that under the right circumstances he could be the baddest motherfucker in the world. If I moved to a martial-arts monastery in China and studied real hard for ten years. If my family was wiped out by Colombian drug dealers and I swore myself to revenge. If I got a fatal disease, had one year to live, and devoted it to wiping out street crime. If I just dropped out and devoted my life to being bad.

Finishing the quote

Hiro used to feel this way, too, but then he ran into Raven. In a way, this was liberating. He no longer has to worry about being the baddest motherfucker in the world. The position is taken.

10,000 hours

I remember a stat that I saw a long time ago (I can't remember who to attribute it to). But basically it said that with 10,000 hours of training you can go from zero to a world class practitioner in *any* field you choose. That could me artist, scientist, astronaut etc.

But I doubt that many people have the finances or drive to keep up such a regime until you achieve your goal. And thats what separates the world class people from the rest of us.

Of course some people do have a natural ability that also gives them a benefit. So I doubt a really short person could ever be competitive in a world class basketball - unless there was a league for really short people.

Oh he'd stay on top of his game

Staying on top of his game is all part of his psychosis. If you hadn't noticed, he's a bit of a whackjob himself.

I prefer some 'Real' expert opinions

And am awaiting the panel at Comic-Con.

It's more than physical ability and big money...

Yeah, the character has an almost super-human physique. And yes, he's got a big pile 'o cash that helps him afford the toys and tools he uses during his "night job". But there's more to it.

Wayne can out-think any of his opponents. His schtick is that he's 5-10 steps ahead of anyone. If he gets into a fight, he's already out-thought the opponent and knows exactly how the fight's going to end.

That's harder to teach. You could work someone for years so that they're at the peak of physical ability, and then dump a cubic f'load of cash on top of them. But they'd still be missing that keen tactical mind that Wayne has.

I don't care how good you are...

...more than a couple of attackers, and you're in trouble. Facing ten bad guys, short of some super-exo-skeleton that boosts your strength and armours your body against instantaneous impact and sustained pressure and torsion, you're going down hard, quickly. And no, they don't always helpfully attack one or two at a time: watch half a dozen cops taking down a violent drunk some time.

And if you're facing multiple bad guys with no possibility of escape, the only credible strategy is to try to put at least all-but-one of them down so hard they no longer present a threat. That means at least knocked out or injured seriously enough that they can't fight, not the cutesy pain compliance stuff. If they are weak and clueless when it comes to fight, you are fit and highly skilled when it comes to fighting, you can find some sort of weapon, you are lucky with the environment, and there aren't too many of them, you might just do this for long enough to create an opportunity to escape. Maybe, if you're really lucky.

But it's a fun read, I'll give it that. :-)

I can see it now.....

The Batman workout video collection...

How much will you pay for this?

900$?

NO!

500$?

NO!

For a limited time, just two easy payments of one parent!

Fuck that.

Hang out in the YMCA locker room and you can be Robin in under 5 minutes.

Re:Where do we sign up?

Well, given the size and scope of Bruce Wayne's awesome shit, I'd say quite well.

That, or its being a self-loathing billionaire industrialist that pays out.

Frankly, its probably not even in the scope of most slashdotters to end up being ATHF's Meatwad... after all, Meatwad makes the money, see; Meatwad gets the honeys, G...

and we don't :(

Re:I trained in Kung Fu for 6 years

When you find yourself in a fair fight, it's time to reevaluate your tactics.