Microsoft Wants To Read Your Brain

Simon Night writes "Microsoft has entered the realm of brain machine interfaces, attempting to patent a method of classifying brain states from EEG input. 'Human beings are often poor reporters of their own actions,' the patent application notes, so reading directly from your brain is a preferred option."

Hrmmmm.... I don't think so.

[BWJones (18351)]

I've spent a fair amount of time looking at this problem (as have others with certain agencies who have invested not insignificant amounts of money) and I can tell you that this is pretty much up in the night kinda speculation. Technical issues of obtaining clean EEG signals in a convenient manner aside, the origins of techniques like this to classify comes from the epilepsy literature, where folks attempt to classify interictal seizure spikes, but also from the sleep and awareness literature (both of which have been reasonably successful, yet are still lacking optimal tools). Granted, there are rather dramatic global state changes that occur with different states of consciousness, but this application focuses principally on the awake EEG. Specifically they quote the P300 signal which the FBI and CIA are using (trying to use) for lie detection, but the problem here is that the P300 is only an evoked potential that simply tells you whether or not someone recognizes an input (audio, visual, tactile etc...). So all questions or inputs into the system have to be crafted to understand that one is looking for an evoked potential with no necessary context in place to explain that evoked potential.

So, this is not mind reading per se nor is it a means to break cognitive processing into temporal windows to determine intent in any of those potential epochs. At its very basic fundamentals this is simply a rehash of signal detection theory doing simple Fourier analysis to "classify" brain waves. But the thing here is that there is no science behind using these signals to interpret what one is thinking even with the invocation of Bayesian networks. There are a number of other more promising methods for classifying data that have been in the literature and commonly used by a number of other disciplines that I am surprised have not made it into the EEG literature yet.

In short.... in my assessment, this is a patent proposal without much in the way of novelty or benefit to the problem at hand.

Re:Hrmmmm.... I don't think so.

[Otter (3800)]

I liked their use of that highly technical term: "too squiggly".

But the thing here is that there is no science behind using these signals to interpret what one is thinking even with the invocation of Bayesian networks.

It sounds like they were using this method to optimize the complexity of interfaces depending on the user's level of "confusion". (E.g., when the user is in a state of panic, the graph wizard in Excel could offer three or four styles of graph, instead of 12. One of the Linux makers with Microsoft patent licensing could adapt it to look at such a user and decide "Y'know, you probably don't need the GIMP...") I doubt they've tried anything as ambitious as knowing what the user is thinking.

Precision

[DrYak (748999)]

One must keep into account that :
- EEG only records surface activity (you only "see" what's visible on the "outside". Deep structures that also play important roles in the way the brain works, mostly by working as filters and first step analysis are not visible on the EEG)
- No matter how much different tracks you analyse, what you read is an overall tendency (you only "see" blurred image. You can get very high resolution, but it's still a high resolution of a blurred out-of-focus image).

The only advantage o

This seems like one of those few stories...

[dottyslashdottydot (1008859)]

...where the Bill-Gates-as-Borg icon truly applies.

Brains and thoughts

[realdodgeman (1113225)]

"'Human beings are often poor reporters of their own actions,' the patent application notes, so reading directly from your brain is a preferred option." Translated: Humans are often trying to keep personal secrets from us, so stealing it all directly from your brain is a preferred option.

Re:

[ILongForDarkness (1134931)]

It would be interesting if they would be liable if there was a bug that left the system easy to hack. I mean your wife finding out your thoughts about her friend, are can't wait for our date this Friday, probably wouldn't go over too well. And the user could agrue they made personal information available that they didn't wish to disclose. Damages: ~50% of life time salary, ouch.

Re:Brains and thoughts

[rolfwind (528248)]

What it doesn't say is that humans are also great at altering their own memories -- false memories -- I have experienced this myself where, say I remember someone like a Highschool friend doing something at my 18th birthday party and then when I view the tape and he wasn't even there!

I don't know about others, but I certainly don't put a lot of stock in human memory past a certain point. It's like an analog signal and everytime we re-remember something, we write a new record down that may introduce random errors (perhaps associations) that shouldn't be there.

Tolerance and testing

[phorm (591458)]

Well, one positive outcome would be if they use it in testing of new products.

Allow this action? Yes
Allow this action? Yes
Allow this action? Yes
Technician: Sir, the test-subject's EEG is spiking Allow this action? Grrr, yes
Allow this action? Yes, damnit!
Technician: He's red-lining sir! Cerebral reading critical
Manager: Wow, so customer's really aren't happy with that feature. OK, scrap it and throw in some more eye-candy and perhaps a fluffy kitten or two
Technician: Yes, sir!

Obligatory Clippy reference

[StarfishOne (756076)]

"It looks like you're writing a letter. Would you like help?"

Re:Obligatory Clippy reference

[pifactorial (1000403)]

"It looks like you're thinking about writing a letter. I know you want help."

... and hilarity ensues

[Spy der Mann (805235)]

Just imagine what happens if Clippy tries to cut and paste your thoughts into the letter.

Before:
"Dear Cindy: I'm afraid this won't work, our differences are too much"

After:
"Dear B**ch: Don't even dream about it, I found a girl who really knows how to- F***! How the heck do I turn this off! Don't"

e-mail sent.

Re:... and hilarity ensues

[codeshack (753630)]

"Dear B**ch: Don't even dream about it, I found a girl who really knows how to- F***! How the heck do I turn this off! Delete that. Delete that. I think it's picking up a little double delete the killer select all."

Guess I'll never get hired by them then

[pembo13 (770295)]

As soon as they read my mind to find out exactly what I think about their company.

Oh god no!

[CFBMoo1 (157453)]

*Tink tink tink!*

GET OUT OF MY HEAD YOU ROTTEN PAPER CLIP!

*Tink tink tink!*

ARGHH!!! It's in my head! Aarrggghhh!

*Tink tink tink!*

Microsoft-think

[Spy der Mann (805235)]

Human beings are often poor reporters of their own actions

I find it very interesting that this reflects Microsoft's thinking. "You say no to this update, when you really mean yes", "You don't know what's best for you", "You don't need that feature, trust us".

What is creepier is that this patent application will grant Microsoft the exclusive right to read your brain... at least in the way the patent describes.

Perhaps they're reading *my* mind?

[nobodyman (90587)]

Holy cow, I was just joking [slashdot.org] around, honest! Now I'm gonna have IP lawyers knocking down my door. And's it's not like I'm going to be able to lie to get myself out of this one 'cus, like, they'd know.

We told you! We told you!

[Trelane (16124)]

We told you, but you just called us paranoiacs and laughed at our tinfoil hats! This fall, the fashion accessory is foil!

Boy, this doesn't make me feel concerned

[jollyreaper (513215)]

So what happens, you think of Linux, piracy, or boobies and you get a shock through the Windows Genuine Advantage Testicle Electrodes, aka MS Testitrodes(tm)?

Re:

[pembo13 (770295)]

So what happens, you think of Linux, piracy, or boobies and you get a shock through the Windows Genuine Advantage Testicle Electrodes, aka MS Testitrodes(tm)?

By 2010, the technology will be available. By 2015, you will get a discount if you accept it. By 2025, you will not be allowed to use a computer without it.

I can see it already

[Tablizer (95088)]

"This copy of Windows will expire in 10 days unless you register your brain with Microsoft"

Re:

[by Anonymous Coward]

> Welcome that. They are welcome to read my mind, just so they will know HOW MUCH VISTA SUCKS ASS.

Can you read my mind now, Bill? BECAUSE I'M THINKING IT AS HARD AS I CAN!

Re:I Just Felt a Cold Chill

[MoonFog (586818)]

No no no, that was a sense of joy and happiness

Yours truly, Microsoft.

'Human beings are often poor reporters of their own actions,'

Re:

[apt142 (574425)]

That's just the power cord. You'll get used to it.

Re:

[DrVomact (726065)]

Seriously the only thing that happens when Microsoft products try to guess what you are thinking is annoyance.

No, no, you don't understand the concept here. What you are reporting as "annoyance" is, in fact, a state of enlightened bliss. Our EEG says so. It also says you love Vista, and have a desire to be abase yourself before the Supreme Overlord, Bill Gates.

So long as they use Vista speech recognition

[EmbeddedJanitor (597831)]

as the fundamental technology, you have nothing to fear.